misskittie Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 Im basically posting this for those of you who happen to be the younger sibling in the family. I truely dont know if any others on the board felt this way but it doesnt hurt to ask. Remember when you were growing up, you admired your brother or sister? You strived to be like them in many ways mostly because you saw them as older and wiser?? I personally had this sort of admiration for my older sister. She was wild, scandelous, athletic, and seemed like she was, well, cool. I wanted to be like her so much it hurt in side. I felt as if she was in the limelight and I was lurking about in the shadows.So years passed and we began to get over that silly sibling rivalry. We learned to appreciate each other's different qualities and basically, fed off of them. The funny thing is, my sister seems to have changed into what I was. The "quiet girl trying to break free and have fun". We grew older together, and now Im the one who goes nuts and chills out while she sits at home with her frumpy fiancee. I guess what Im trying to get to (forgive me for being so cloudy) is, "As the younger sibling were you always the mature minded one of the two? Always running after your older borther or sister to settle conflict?"Im going through a situation with my sister right now and we haven't spoken since December. I have so much to tell her and so much to be angry with her for. In the situation Im going through, she is wrong. My entire family sees it and agrees with me. She's getting married at the end of this month and I was her maid of honor. Needless to say, due to the fight at hand, I walked out of the wedding. (Its a real long story and goes way deeper then I choose to actually share.)So, do I say forget it and swallow eveything and go to her to end this quarrel or wait for her to finally realize her mistake for the first time in her 26 years? I hate knowing Im right and that she chooses to run from the situation rather then deal with it. But I also hate that Im going to miss see her get married on the 28th. I actually just saw pictures of her trying her gown on and it broke my heart. Probably broke hers more knowing I wouldnt be present.Okay I think I got my point pout but Im not too sure. Its a hard situation to explain without giving the whole drawn out story. So do you say, "swallow my pride and make up or wait for her to get off her princess pedistal and face up to her wrong doing?"Sorry if I bothered you and I know this really isnt quite the place to be asking such a thing but I think general opinions are better then ones coming from those who know me best and try to sugarcoat.wow that was hard...xoxokAt ------------------ I quit ~~~~~yea yea yea~~~~~ its all over now."Try to suceed without me" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 First and foremost, try to settle your differences before the wedding. You don't want to regret missing that. But...don't suck it up and just coat everything over. Talk about it. Tell her how you are feeling. It is so important to communicate and not just hide things to avoid conflict.Of course it won't be easy but, let her know how much this is bothering you and above all let her know that you love her and you are doing this because you care, not just to start a fight. You can't argue with love.Try to keep a cool head and discuss it in a way that won't fall into a heated arguement. This may require you to be the strong one since you are initiating it. Don't raise your voice when she raises hers. Believe me it works. I have to remember these things when talking to my ex. All I want to do is get mad and yell but I've found that being overly calm can avoid that. I know that Irish in you will want to come out but don't let it.And remember to tell her how much she means to you Good luck ------------------ ~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petrol Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 One day I was driving with my best friend. He was telling me about how he had gone golfing with another friend and the other guys father on Father's Day. (my best friends dad died when he was 15.)I had not spoken to my Dad in 3 years as a result of a life impacting argument/disagreement. I realized at the moment of our talk in the car that I *still* had a Father and I was taking it for granted.Yes.. I tlak to my Dad alot now and really enjoy his friendship. I swallowed my pride and let it go.You might not be able to just drop it, but really try to determine just how important it is to you for your sister to say "You're right." She may never say that... will you then never talk to her again?Is this really *that* important that she believe you're right and she's wrong? Probably not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andre9000 Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 Word to Cathyo. Thats some good advice. I am the oldest of 3, so I haven't had the same experience. But I do know about the importance of family. I'm really tight with everyone in mine. Family is all some people got. Friends come and go, but family is always gonna be in your life. It's not really about who is right or wrong, it's gotta be deeper than that. I'm the kind of person to just say "fuck it, I overplayed things, lets get over it and move on with our lives". If you think you are really right, then don't apologize, just get on with things. Like the US with China.Some people might disagree, but I'd say forget about what happened and look towards the future. Peace.------------------Talkin 'bout what we gon' be when we grow up/I said what you wanna be? She said alive/It made me think for a minute then looked in her eyes/I coulda died.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 *bump* for kittie------------------ ~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanna11 Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 go to the wedding Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vampienyc10 Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 Hey Kat.. I would def speak to her at once...before you both regret it..Be the better person and talk to her, open up.. chances are that she will be grateful towards you for approaching her and she might actually come to her sense and apologize....another note....as long as you no you weren't wrong in what happened then an apology is not necessary..------------------ AIM vampienyc10e-mail: vampie@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unbound Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 whatever the difference is - its probably not that important... BOTH of you will remember the fact that you missed out on her wedding... so no matter what you choose - to make up before the wedding or not... you should still go... be a bigger person..and god knows..maybe the younger will be more the wiser... my advice would be to make it clear to her that you think you're right and that there may be no compromise but you should forgive and forget... and let her carry the burden of dealing with it... you on the other hand should get over it.. and treat her in the most civil way you can - it is obvious she is lacking something.. by giving her something (attending her wedding and showing that you still love her) will defiantly fill some sort of void.well thats my 2 cents... i hope the two of you will settle your differences ------------------ AIM: ArthurBrooklyn TëMA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bratnik Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 Definitely swallow your pride and be a better person.. dont miss the wedding. ------------------...NYC on the MOVE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted April 12 Author Report Share Posted April 12 Thank you soo much everyone. This has been something that has been haunting me since my birthday.I am going to write a letter this evening...not an email. I really hate having to go to her yet again but I know its the only way to resolve the problem. Apparently, she is afraid to face me for whatever reason that may be.You all are right and Im thankful you gave me your advice....now lets see if I can get through the letter.Thanks for the support everyone...Ill let you know how it goes.xoxokAt------------------ I quit ~~~~~yea yea yea~~~~~ its all over now."Try to suceed without me" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
az-tec Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 Well KAt......since we have had NUMEROUS talks about this for very long periods of time, you know my opinion....I think you are doing the right thing by writing the letter. Im positive everything will work out.IF ya need to talk ...you know how to reach me -Andy------------------And Everything Will Flow....Flow....Flow.... "The Futures So Bright.......I Gotta Wear Shades"Email: Andy_Zeee@hotmail.comAIM: AztecNY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.