cmb1975 Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bringit to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes toinquire how it's going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, andadviseme at every keystroke.3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me achance to be creative when someone asks where you are.4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open thedoor for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and openingdoors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured andlose all use of my limbs.5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority.I am psychic.6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really havenowhereto go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it couldmean a promotion.8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popularinconversations. I was born to be whipped.9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. Infact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me withuseful information.10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to knowanything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer tothemlater, my shrewd deductions will identify them.11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really changeyour life and send you straight to manager's hell.12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice toknow someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having topay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a goodmanager.13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD havebeen. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase.I'm not here for the money anyway.------------------The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emiliep Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 you forgot one more.....14. sit me next to the most annoying individual who has nothing better to do than fart next to me and play video games. i enjoy being surrounded by 4 year old individuals in a 25 year old body. it makes work THAT much more fun.------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peache5030 Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 thanks for making my morning alittle better...since I have to be here...------------------ I am not afraid of tomorrow. I have seen yesterday and I love today.I dont cry because it ENDED--> I smile because we HAPPENED.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dale77 Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 I'm so glad it's the weekend!------------------You're only young once Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmerces Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 Right now I have an Excel spreadsheet in front of me and my boss actually believes deep down that Im working my ass off. Little does he know I've not even attempted to do anything productive all morning.Can't wait to get out of here, its 75 degrees out and not a cloud in the sky!!------------------"Anybody can mix two records together but it takes a DJ to be able to do it creativley and make new sound out of that music" --A great wise man"Spinning is like creating a new world in that room for that one night. You create a one night oblivion where nothing outside that room matters, all that matters is feeling the music and loving every second of it." --Another great wise man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frenchbread Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 Originally posted by dmerces:Can't wait to get out of here, its 75 degrees out and not a cloud in the sky!!...hey!!!!...i love clouds...------------------ AIM: thefrenchbreadYIM: thefrenchbread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitkatt Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 how true, how true... thanks for the laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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