Words from "The Way to Happiness"

[barvybe]

Ok, remember that Sunday i had a few weeks back? My slipping and tripping adventure? Well, i was just purusing the literature that lovely young lady was good enough to give to me. Let me tell u...

Quite a few surprises! I've really learned alot. Here are some of the eye-openers (i may just have to change my entire outlook)

1. "Sex is a big step on the way to happiness and joy". Of course they ruin this by then stating: "There is nothing wrong with it when followed by faithfulness and decency."

2. "The way to happiness doesn not include murdering your friends, your family, or you yourself being murdered." (d*amn..fuckity fuck!)

3. "The way to happiness does not include the fear of being found out." this is in relationship to performing illegal acts i presume. Which leads to the conclusion: 1. don't get caught, or, if u think u might get caught, 2. don't give a f*uck since happiness is all about avoiding fear evidently.

4. "The way to happiness is hard to travel when shadowed with the oppression of tyranny" (obviously, whomever wrote this hasn't been living in NYC - we have a tyrant, and yet i'm pretty happy).

5. "The road to happiness cannot be traveled with stolen goods." Unless those goods happen to include a car....

6. "The way to happiness is very hard to travel when one is burdened with the weight of obligations." or, BarVybe translation: "Its better to be owed than to owe others."

7. "The way to happiness is a high road when it includes industriousness." I find that i'm really lazy when i'm high.

8. "The way to happiness is best traveled with competent companions." They better be, since i'm hopeless. And isn't this the argument for being a kept man?

9. "The way to happiness is a high speed road for those who know where the edges are." Again with the being high stuff. Personally, i just stay away from the edges at times like this....

10. "Be temperate: Do not take harmful drugs. Do not drink to excess." How do i know which are harmful if i don't check them out? Same with that excess thing. Back to those edges - how can u stay away from them until u define them.

In conclusion....

shit someone give me a hand here...d*amn confusing L. Rob Hubbard piece of shit pamphlet!!!!

[Xpander]

And now, for the Xpander re-interpretations.....

1. "Sex is a big step on the way to happiness and joy". Of course they ruin this by then stating: "There is nothing wrong with it when followed by faithfulness and decency."

---it doesn't say how long you have to be faithful and decent...

2. "The way to happiness doesn not include murdering your friends, your family, or you yourself being murdered." (d*amn..fuckity fuck!)

---that's so subjective...you can have some fucking-annoying friends...

3. "The way to happiness does not include the fear of being found out."

---....have all confidence in all the bad things you do.....

4. "The way to happiness is hard to travel when shadowed with the oppression of tyranny"

---now we've a rich king who works for a dollar a year....we're SET!!!

5. "The road to happiness cannot be traveled with stolen goods." Unless those goods happen to include a car....

---technically, stealing doesn't include fraud and extortion...

6. "The way to happiness is very hard to travel when one is burdened with the weight of obligations."

---meaning...BUY LOTS OF DRINKS FOR CUTE GIRLS

7. "The way to happiness is a high road when it includes industriousness."

---translation: if you're lazy, then you'll need to take substances to get high

8. "The way to happiness is best traveled with competent companions."

---(*looks at friends* hey Lavender, stop drinking!)

9. "The way to happiness is a high speed road for those who know where the edges are."

---can't be too sure where the edges are till you fall off of 'em, i always say...

10. "Be temperate: Do not take harmful drugs. Do not drink to excess."

---eh...everything's harmful. Doesn't that mean you shouldn't take anything? Of course not. So take everything! And limits of excess are soooooooooooooooooo relative....