mfiorellino Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 If Santa answered his mail honestly...Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, SarahDear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? SantaDear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd likefor my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.Love,TeddyDear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitterlike a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, FrancisDear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. Santa Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.Love,Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots makethe deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You wantto do me a favour? Leave me a bottle of scotch. Santa Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year?Are you busy making toys? Your friend,Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinkingmyself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losingmoney at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.SantaDear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know whenwe're awake, like in the song? Love,Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do.I'm skipping your house. SantaDear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year.Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. SantaDearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house,how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sextacy911 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 lolol pretty good... :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ggfella4 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 that was good, i enjoyed that.peace outgianni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjcbebe Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 that was Great...Santa is getting pretty vicious huh....thanks for posting that. :laugh: :laugh: :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.