Hangover Classifications

[prplhz]

This too funny! I would have to say I had a ** this morning upon waking up on this fine friday

Hangover Classifications:

1 Star hangover (*)

No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere

disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad

that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still

parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. You are

craving a steak bomb and a side of gravy fries.

2 Star hangover (**)

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you

have mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you chug is only

irritating your rumbling gut, which is craving a rootie tootie fresh

and fruity pancake breakfast from IHOP. Last night has wreaked havoc

on your bowels.

3 star hangover (***)

Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not

productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume

reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic

friends after the bouncer 86'd you at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better

right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball

sub watching the E! fashion awards. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a

gallon of water, 3 Snapples and a liter of diet coke, yet you haven't

peed once.

4 star hangover (****)

Life sucks. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or

else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being

late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice

clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial

spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while

riding the bumper cars). Your eyes look like one big vein and your

hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of

Revere High, '76.

5 star hangover,(*****) aka "Dante's 4th Circle of Hell."

You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying

the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of

every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in

the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost

the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you.

Death seems pretty good right now. You definitely don't remember who

you were with, where you were, what you drank, and why there is a

stranger still sleeping in your bed at your house

6 star hangover (******) otherwise known as the "Infinite Nutsmacker"

You wake up on your bathroom floor. You find relief in the cool

refreshing feeling from the bathroom floor. It is amazing how your

roommate was as drunk as you, but somehow manages to get up before you

the next morning....You try to lift your head. Not an option. It is

when you turn your head too quickly only to smell the funk of 13 packs

of cigarettes in your hair, and suddenly you realize you were smoking,

but not ultra lights...some jackass handed you Marlboro reds, and you

smoked them like it was your second full time job. You look in the

mirror only to see remnants of the stamp "Ready to Rock" faintly atop

your forehead....that explains the stamp on the back of your hand that

has magically appeared on your forehead by alcoholic osmosis. You have

to be to work in t-minus 14 minutes and 32 seconds and the only thing

you can think of wearing is your "hello kitty" pajamas and your

slippers.

[vikkii123]

Originally posted by prplhz

6 star hangover (******) otherwise known as the "Infinite Nutsmacker"

You wake up on your bathroom floor. You find relief in the cool

refreshing feeling from the bathroom floor. It is amazing how your

roommate was as drunk as you, but somehow manages to get up before you

the next morning....You try to lift your head. Not an option. It is

when you turn your head too quickly only to smell the funk of 13 packs

of cigarettes in your hair, and suddenly you realize you were smoking,

but not ultra lights...some jackass handed you Marlboro reds, and you

smoked them like it was your second full time job. You look in the

mirror only to see remnants of the stamp "Ready to Rock" faintly atop

your forehead....that explains the stamp on the back of your hand that

has magically appeared on your forehead by alcoholic osmosis. You have

to be to work in t-minus 14 minutes and 32 seconds and the only thing

you can think of wearing is your "hello kitty" pajamas and your

slippers.

Had this one on Thanksgiving morning.... Oh ya real cool going to the parents house in that condition

[prplhz]

Where did you go?? How dare someone take you out and get you drunk like that.... hehe

I think I was basically in the same condition Thanksgiving....

[vikkii123]

Originally posted by prplhz

Where did you go?? How dare someone take you out and get you drunk like that.... hehe

I think I was basically in the same condition Thanksgiving....

The question should be more like where didn't we go