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You know you're Italian if:


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> > 1. You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a

> > day, and you still cry when your mother yells at you.

> >

> >

> > 2. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit 2

> > mortadella "sangwiches", 4 oranges 2 bananas and pizzelles

> > into a regular paper lunch bag.

> >

> >

> > 3. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank,

> > but still drives a '76 Black Mercury.

> >

> >

> > 4. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and

> > travel agent are all blood relatives.

> >

> >

> > 5. You consider dunking a pack of Stella D'Oro "S" cookies

> > in milk as a nutritious breakfast.

> >

> >

> > 6. You live in a 900 square foot bungalow, but still have

> > 2 kitchens (one in the basement).

> >

> >

> > 7. Your 2 best friends are your cousin and

> > brother-in-law's brother-in-law.

> >

> >

> > 8. You are a card-carrying VIP at more than five after hours clubs.

> >

> >

> > 9. You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street.

> > All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather or

> > grandmother.

> >

> >

> > 10. A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has

> > earned you the title of "professore" among your aunts.

> >

> >

> > 11. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet-hall

owners.

> >

> >

> > 12. You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.

> >

> >

> > 13. If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is

> > presumed his mother had an affair.

> >

> >

> > 14. There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.

> >

> >

> > 15. You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

> >

> >

> > You REALLY REALLY know you're Italian when:

> > You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.

> > You know what a rice ball really is.

> > Christmas Eve.....only fish....

> > Have a gold chain, cross and your horn...

> > You have a stupid nickname.

> > Fuhggetaboutit"

> > Your Mom's meatballs are the best.

> > Favorite movies:Godfather/Goodfellas/BronxTale/Moonstruck

> > You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you

> > Plastic on the furniture is normal.

> > Know how to pronounce "manicotti".

> > You've called someone a "mamaluke".

> > You own a Pinky Ring.

> > And you understand, "Bada Bing, Bada Boom"

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