Eye contact

[legendary]

Oh how I hate this... I wrote a big fat long nice message and then the fucking site wouldn't load anymore when I tried to submit it and all I had written was gone.

I really want to tell this story, so I will repeat it one more time, but not as detailed as before because it's just too much for me right now

Okay, remember when I told you about women and eye contact while dancing? I think I said that most of them don't look into your eyes, or very rarely, or they just turn around and dance with their back towards you, which can be quite appealing for some time, but gets boring after a while because you get the feeling that she really isn't interested in you very much. You feel replaceable - and that's what you are!

Last weekend proved me wrong. And I'm glad it did. First of all I have to admit that we cheated on San Francisco Polly's because we went to the San Jose Polly's (CA, not Costa Rica!) instead. I had never been there before so we wanted to check it out, it was supposed to be bigger, three dancefloors and all that stuff. Actually it was bigger, but as you will see in a minute I didn't spend much time on checking the interior of the club, because all my attention got melted down to one point - a woman of course.

She is the absolute incarnation of THE pinup girl with long blonde hair, a beautiful face and curves that give the expression Silicon Valley a totally new sense. Real or not, she was an eyecatcher, and I saw her after a few minutes when I was standing upstairs at a point where you can look down to the people dancing on the dancefloor. This was just a few seconds before she saw me. She looked and smiled at me, but I didn't think much about it, because se had a guy with her and women look and check out men all the time.

But I just couldn't look away from her, and the most amazing thing was, she kept looking at me. Her guy was behind her and didn't even notice it, although he tried to get her attention, but she kept looking and smiling at me. I waited to see if she also does it with other people, but even when she turned around for a while, as soon as she looked back up, she looked at me.

I am a gentleman type of guy, so I really don't dance with women usually who have a guy with them, and surely not when the guy looks like the macho-I'll-knock-you-down type of guy who could cause serious damage to himself trying to hit me

But then I thought, okay there is nothing wrong in getting a little bit closer, he didn't notice me until now anyways. But when I went downstairs to the dancefloor, they left the dancefloor at the same time, heading to another room. I didn't want to look like a stalker, so I waited for a few minutes and then I slowly followed them, only to see that as soon as I entered the room she saw me at the entrance just as if she waited all the time for me to get it. When she saw me, she smiled at me again and I smiled back, heading towards her position. At this time, I really didn't pay attention to anything else than her anymore.

Actually she had another girlfriend with her who also had a guy with her. Both the guys seemed to be sort of drunk, and they did nothing else (for the rest of the evening, as I was going to find out) but try to grasp and touch the girls. So the girls pushed them away (although they were with them, but it looked as if they were for sure not in a closer relationship yet) because they wanted to dance.

Then the guys made them get on a little platform and dance there. After a few minutes they finally gave in and got up there, which draw the attention of quite a bunch of men on them. They all looked at the girls, me amongst them, but she still looked at me. She danced on the platform facing me (I was about 10 feet away from her), still looking and smiling at me, and I looked and smiled back. She never looked away from me, not when the guy tried to get her attention or touch her or make her get into some sexual movements, and she looked at me so much that even the other guys who where standing around noticed it, asking themselves why she was looking at me and what the hell this other guy was trying to do at her ass.

To shorten this a little bit, I never got to know her name or anything, and I never really danced with her, but when she was dancing on the platform (and later when she was dancing on the floor right in front of me), I was dancing too, so it felt as if we were dancing together. And we were looking at each other all the time.

The end is more or less unspectacular: She went home with that guy after he wasn't even able to have the last dance with her. You know, when they play this smooch song at the end and the couples just get close together and dance, he still tried to grab, grasp and touch her in a sexual way, which she obviously disliked, turned around and left the scene. That was the last time I saw her.

Don't get me wrong. I am not planning on seeing her again and I don't put any emotion into this girl. It's just that I really liked the way she looked at me and that apparently she was as amazed by me as I was by her. I call this spontaneus attraction, even though we both knew there is no room for that, having her guy all around her.

But still, I feel that she gave me more than any other girl I ever danced with, even when they were dancing closer with me, because she paid 100% attention to me, even more than she paid to the guy she brought with her. I felt appreciated for my indivuality, because there were lots of other guys she could have looked at, but she chose me. Of course she doesn't have a clue about my personality, but at least something between us made us look at each other for the whole evening.

I like that, when suddenly the unexpected does happen and I just feel good about myself, enjoy my time and go home with a smile

End of story.

So, what unexpected things happened to you lately?

Have a good time,

Legend

[zeonstar]

Great Story Legend. You already know what unexpected thing happened to me lately.

Man I swear we are like long lost fucking twins or something. SO much of your experiences are just like shit that could happen to me, and your reactions are very much how mine would be. I really hope we get a chance to meet and hang out someday. I need to get to the Bay Area and visit my family.

[bouncey]

That's a lovely story, Legendary. I agree, eye contact is rare on the dance floor, but it's so hot when it happens. You could turn it around, you know, make and keep eye contact with a girl. You know--the from across the room thing. It's like "courting" a girl before you dance with her. I'd be majorly impressed if a guy maintained eye contact with me.

[legendary]

Bouncey,

thanks for your answer, it's always good to hear some opinions from 'the other side'. When I went out last weekend I could see it many times again on others, you can really see if a girl is interested in the guy she is dancing with (and I am talking about interest in a personal matter, which does not necessarily have to do with sex) by the way she looks at him (or not).

I only wish more guys would learn how to read these eye signs, this would safe you women a lot of annoying jerks.

Back to work... so only a short answer... you'll here more from me soon!

Bye,

Legend

[bouncey]

You know, Legend. I was at Polly Esther's in DC for New Year's. I've never been to a Polly Esther's; I was in town visiting friends, and I registered into this site just to see if I could find any info about the club. Anyway, your message about eye contact made me more aware of my own behavior. I noticed that I make eye contact a lot when I'm dancing with a guy, and then, I noticed that it makes them a little "possessive". I guess I'm a girl of the worst kind at a club, and I never realized it. I'm not going to take anyone home--I'm sure I'd manage to find the only Charles Manson in the place if I did that, but I guess the eye contact is misleading. I'm just there to dance and have fun. How can you not make eye contact when you're dancing to the Grease soundtract? No, that's not even it because I do it when dancing to house too. I guess it's kinda like role playing for me, acting out the words of the songs. Luckily, there was a super fun guy there who was there to play just like me. So, I guess my question is, do guys really take girls that seriously at a club? I mean, if I see a guy standing off to the side just watching, I'm going to get a friend, saunter up to him and start dancing, making eye contact and hamming it up good. Does this say to the guy, "She's totally in love with me?" Because all I mean by it is, "Let's dance."

[legendary]

You are totally right, that is exactly what I was talking about. When you look at someone and make eye contact, you recognize this person as an individual. For you it's a normal process, but many girls don't even do that. They never look at you, they treat you like a replaceable piece of human being, they don't really care who the guy is they are dancing with.

That's all I meant by saying that a girl is interested when she makes eye contact. Your interest is in dancing, of course, and I did not intend to imply any further interest in a simple eye contact. In contrary, that is the problem that eye contact way too often gets overinterpreted by guys who think the girl really wants to say something by looking at them. And I think that is why these other girls just stopped looking guys into the eyes, because they don't want to cause any undesired reaction.

So, in case you thought that we have different opinions, I hope I was able to clear that up a bit. I'm glad to know that in fact there are girls who still make eye contact, dance and have fun and show that they do care who they are dancing with.

A womans look,

deep in the eye,

can make you live,

or even die.

Legend.

[bouncey]

so then, you don't think it's "leading a guy on"--he won't be shocked when he doesn't get invited home?

[legendary]

Honestly, I would be shocked if a girl WANTED to take me home just because we had eye contact and a good dance.

As you said, actually this is all just to have fun. Nobody signed a contract at the front doors saying 'Yes I agree to take home the person I have best eye contact with'. I wish people would not so much focus on obligation and taking someone home. For guys, it's always the 'how do I get to know someone' and for girls it's the 'how do I not make him think I'm interested'. That's not the way it should be.

I can dance with a girl, have eye contact, dance close, talk to her and enjoy the evening, and still I wouldn't expect or think she'd take me home or something. But maybe it's because I don't expect much of other people. For me everything stays within the club walls. As soon as I leave the front doors, I don't expect a person to even know me anymore, not to speak of the next time I see that person. I never force somebody in saying hi to me just because I talked to her last week. I wait until I see some recognition or a smile or if they come to me and say hi. If they don't, I just let it be.

Don't think you will lead a guy on just because you make him feel good by looking at him. It's their fault, not yours. Most of them are already mislead when they enter the club, because they have wrong expectations and will already see it as a sign when you bump into them incidentally on the dancefloor.

Just be as you are and don't stop doing things because they could be misinterpreted!

Best regards,

Legend

[bouncey]

OK, good philosophy!