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**OFF TOPIC: sunday PM misadventure (at ***TILLY's request***)


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OK, u asked for it. A reprint in three parts from marathon NYC sunday last year. Hope this chases away the boredom!

Off Topic: BarVybe's wacky wacky sunday

Well, i have actually morphed into my lesser half (u know, that guy who's always running around the city on very little sleep and what not)

Episode one: a marathon morning

So, Saturday night was EXCELLENT. I arrived home with about 6 friends at 7am to chill at the homestead. I was quite polluted. U can use your imagination, but waaaaaaay more f*ucked up than any of you have seen me.

we decided to play "what's the best version of that song".. Luckily between Shannon and i we own lots of songs....

5 versions of love in traffic

6 of underworlds Everything Everything

4 of doom's night

etc.

many gin tonica and juices later (cause evidently i was deathly afraid of mellowing into just drunk and happy) 3petey passes out in his own living room to the sounds of Private Pyle going medieval on the sergeants ass! It is perhaps 9am.

10:30 - wakes up extraordinarily disoriented to the sounds of large metal clanging. Takes a while to figure out where i am. Longer to figure out that i'm alone and the metal clanging is the sanitation department setting up barriers for the marathon right outside my window.

Pete passes out again....

Only to be awakened at 11:30 by wild cheering. He opens his eyes to realize they are glued shut by the contacts he fell asleep in. eventually, he looks out to see the lead runners streaming past. sprinting at 11 on a sunday morning - dumb ass motherfuckers!!!!

I get up, put on my Yankees Jerzey and stumble to the corner to wait for my buddies to run by. I realize that i am still drunk and trippin' on something really juicy. good thing i brought tunez and shades. People run by yelling go yankees at me. i try to yell back, but my voice is still upstairs. i clap and wave and caper about in a little circle.

My boy brian runs by, gives me the big hi five, yells Yanks!! and fades into the distance. The euphoria fades and i realize i'm gonna fall down unless i get something to eat. approximate time: 1pm

Episode 2 (coming soon to this thread): meet the parents and pretend you're feeling normal. (please give me some encouragement)

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ummm...please some support folks. i'm exposing so much of my tender side here...:)

OK, Episode 2: Meet the parents

1pm. back inside. phone rings. oh yeah, gotta meet my parents at Lincoln Center at 2:45 for a play and dinner. No problem.

Pete stands up: big problem. d*amn . Limps up to corner store to get a sandwich. Eats half of it before realizing that the hunger pains were really false alarms and the food tastes like ashes.

into the shower. water feels like little insects stinging me. or maybe hailstones. can't decide what temp the water is. no shaving (waaaaay too dangerious). looks in the mirror - sees alien and looks over his shoulder for pete who is no where to be found. grabs a book. grabs some music. grabs the yankee jersey. heads out the door.

tries to get on the G train. closed. tries to walk over the Pulaski bridge. closed to pedestrian traffic. pete starts to panic. 45 minutes to show time. the whole marathon thing gives us an idea though. we strip off most of our clothes and run the mile and a half over the greenpoint ave bridge to the 7 train in our loafers.

I read a little Two Towers to settle my brain and waltz outta the subway at Lincoln Center. Evidently i didn't recognize my parents right away. Their heads looked too large actually.

The show, Contact, is really cool. Its a dance / acting thing with three skits and is very funny (I think). By the way, my voice has returned to a low croak so i can communicate somewhat. Even though it was very good, i almost fell asleep 2 or 3 times. At one point i think i was hearing the words backwards - or maybe a flashback to Stairway to Heaven played in reverse.

It is over. It is blessedly dark outside. My parents tell me that i am looking good. I manage to keep a straight face.

Off to Shun Lee West for dinner. Sooooo yummmy. Now i am hungry. Hacked chicken, scallion pancake, Ants on the Tree, Sweetbreads and mushroom, shredded beef, etc.

All i can think of is the Yankee game. I need a drink or 6 to wake me up. It is 6:30

Episode Three: A Guide to Happiness (coming soon)

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Episode 3: A guide to Happiness

Ok, parents leave. 1 hour to game time. 60 blocks to the bar to meet my boys. Jersey goes on. Cars start honking at me. this is cool.

I am at Columbus Circle. I am walking in a crowd of hundreds. Someome grabs my arm and says "We need to talk". It is a very earnest looking girl, maybe 25 or 30. She's standing between me and the western sky which is still kinda lit up, so her face is all sparkily around the edges and there are blues and greens and yellows flashing around. Talking to her seems like a pretty cool idea....

She tells me she has something for me. I look down at the pamphet in her / my hands:

"The Way to HAPPINESS - a common sense guide to better living"

hmmmm.

"Why are u giving me this?"

"Everyone can live better."

"But why did u pick me out of this whole crowd?"

She looks at me skeptically. "Uh, u look like you could benefit from this. Especially pages 4 and 5."

Pete opens pamphlet to page 4:

2. Be Temperate

2-1. Do not take harmful drugs

2-2. Do not take alcohol to excess

2-3. Get lots of rest

There is a large paragraph addressing each on of these.

"So, u think i'm a crackhead?"

-"Well, i didn't..."

"Cause that's really judgemental. I'll bet there's a passage about that in here too. Yeah, here it is: "Respect people for who they are. Do not judge others if you do not know them."

-"Wel..."

"That's ok hon, i don't think you're really a bad person. I'm gonna go get really drunk and watch the yankees now"

Petey walks down the street whistling a tune. Hmmmm....jellybeans look good (picks some up). Tries to guess the flavors without looking. Seems like berry flavors just aren't registering yet....

arrives at bar in time to watch most of the game and chat bout things....evidently i was fairly humorous

BTW: on further reading, this pamphlet actually states:

"The way to happiness does nto include murdering your friends, your family, or yourself being murdered." <--- which sucks cause now i need a new plan....Grrrrrrrrrr.

The pamphlet is written by L. Ron Hubbard. not shittin' ya either.

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LLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!

"That's ok hon, i don't think you're really a bad person. I'm gonna go get really drunk and watch the yankees now"

:laugh:

omg, I forgot all about this... this is TOOO fuckin funny...

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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Guest tilly

that story goes down as one of my favorite cp moments of all times...especially since I didn't even know you yet and when I read it I was outta town...and I kept getting really funny visuals of the whole experience...especially the part where you looked in the mirror and saw and alien..that was hilarious!!

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Guest tilly
Originally posted by roha3000

Great story Pete. Gotta make some new ones in Miami. I know I will. The real trick for me is remembering them, escpecially with the level of detail that you did. I may have to bring a notebook with me.

I am so gullable...I believed that you weren't going...

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thank you thank you (bows in seat)

i remember the hardest part was getting people to believe that I didn't make the whole thing up. I think i only remember it cause it all happened POST being out and stuff and i was (mostly) sober and thoughtful and stuff.

i gots a few more sorta similar to this, but never wrote them all out. :)

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