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Guest bellaragazza

I Need Your Advice :(

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Guest bellaragazza

I need your help! Tell me if I’m over reacting (i know it's long, i'm sorry)

I just recently got back together with one of my exs. Things were super amazing at first and we spent about a week reconnecting and getting to know each other and basically just catching up on lost time.. Right after this bonding moment we shared he went back to playing his old bullshit and I’m not sure if I should believe his stories or just hit the road again..

It all started last week. We spent an amazing night together but I wasn’t feeling well so I called it a night early. The next day I went to work early and throughout the day I think I paged him twice. So, he didn’t call me back and at first I just figured that he was sleeping so I let it go.. It was almost 6:00 p.m when I started to wonder what the fuck was going on so I called his house and his mom told me he wasn’t home. At first I was really upset because I figured that he just didn’t bother to call me like he usually did. Then at 9:00 p.m he finally called me. He didn’t say a word just said “hey whats up”. I wasn’t mean about it or anything but I just asked him nicely why he wasn’t returning my pages and he followed by telling me that his friend had called him the night before after I’d gone to bed and that his friend was bad tripping so he needed to rush him to the hospital and that is where he’d been all day. I was still super upset after that because honestly it would have taken him two seconds to run over to a pay phone and just give me a quick call and say something like “my friends really sick I wont be around so don’t worry”. But instead he chose not to. I find that really disrespectful because I know I’d do it for him.

Now the problem continued this weekend when I confronted him about having to make an appointment to spend time with him. It seems that every time something better comes up he always ditchs me. I’m not the controlling type and I actually push him to go out with his friends or whatever but last night he really upset me.. He called to tell me he was going out and told me he’d be in early so that we could chill and come 11:30 I got a phone call from him telling me that he was going clubbing. I find this all so rude.

Now, do you think I’m over reacting by getting upset about this or is he just being an asshole? He’s giving me such a hard time about this and making me feel like I’m such an irrational person and sooo terrible for letting stuff like this bother me.. I think it’s just a respect thing and I have every right to be upset..

What do you think?

:mad::(:mad::blank:

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From the sounds of it I think there are some trust issues. Everyone gets paranoid and jealous but there is a limit to how much a person can take. I don't want to sound mean but maybe he isn't taking the relationship as seriously as you. Maybe he is having second thoughts as well, or maybe he is intentionally trying to push your buttons to see how far he can go. If this is the case then I think you should talk to him and tell him how you feel about the problems. You can't expect him to know whats wrong if you don't tell him. If he tries to beat around the bush then move on.

You can't treat an old dog new tricks. Find someone that you can trust and be open with. Thats the only way a relationship can move forward.

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to be upfront with you, id be just as upset... from a 3rd party perspective it seems as if hes avoiding you, and or youre suffocating him... i dont know the details or the intricateness of your relationship, however from what ive read thats what it seems like.

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Guest bellaragazza

I wish I was smoothering him.. i don't ask for much out of a relationship i just ask that i'm not disrespected.. i don't care if he goes out.. i don't care if he takes off for a week but i think it's just out of courtousey that you tell someone..

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Honey If I were you I would Walk away for real cause you are just going to case your self more headache IMO if this is like the same shit you went through before you broke up the first time and you know that leak has sprung once again jump ship. I agree with DG is seems he is trying to play you I don't really think you are suffocating him. You sound like a really caring person so I would give you this advice. Tell kid houdini straight up how you feel regardless of what he tells you take a vacation and come to the states and find yourself a real mand Darlin' can I get an AMEN

good luck sweetie all the best :D

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Guest bellaragazza

yeah,

i tried to explain to him how i don't think its very conciderate to not take someone elses feelings into concideration like that.. and all he had to say to me was "you're over reacting". maybe he's right maybe he's wrong but fuck that cause I don't need this bullshit... like I told him.. he's a great guy and all but he's got some issues when it comes to treating people with respect.. and in his case it's unfortunate cause i'm not putting up with it..

the end.

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Originally posted by dgmodel

to be upfront with you, id be just as upset... from a 3rd party perspective it seems as if hes avoiding you, and or youre suffocating him... i dont know the details or the intricateness of your relationship, however from what ive read thats what it seems like.

I'd be upset, but sometimes there are circumstances that are lot to handle. I had to take my best friend to the ER about 4 years ago. It was like 2 in the morning on a major holiday weekend. Mind you I was supposed to be home at 3 ish, I didn't leave the hospital till until almost 7 am.... I then called my mom and explained what happened.. She wasn't happy about my being MIA for 5 hours, but she understood.....

If he is making excuses for everything, then tell him how you feel, and explain you don't wanna do this dance again, it wasn't fun the first time around......

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Guest bellaragazza

I explained it to him.. I explained it once.. then twice.. then three times and all this kid says is "you're over reacting" so i just told him it was nice while it lasted... but enough is enough..

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Originally posted by SPYGIRL2

I'd be upset, but sometimes there are circumstances that are lot to handle. I had to take my best friend to the ER about 4 years ago. It was like 2 in the morning on a major holiday weekend. Mind you I was supposed to be home at 3 ish, I didn't leave the hospital till until almost 7 am.... I then called my mom and explained what happened.. She wasn't happy about my being MIA for 5 hours, but she understood.....

If he is making excuses for everything, then tell him how you feel, and explain you don't wanna do this dance again, it wasn't fun the first time around......

i can appreciate that however, youre not doogie howser, and youre not the one operating on him/her or whatever... while youre waiting in the ER, you can easily make a call, and if you dont have the quarter, you can use receptions desk... its just a phone call... and nowadays with the way telecommunication is its not a big deal, look i understand if it were back like 10 yrs ago, and blah but now, theres so many ways to get a hold of each other, and its effortless, so there really isnt any excuse but, " i dont wish to speak with you right now" thats it in my eyes...

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Originally posted by bellaragazza

I explained it to him.. I explained it once.. then twice.. then three times and all this kid says is "you're over reacting" so i just told him it was nice while it lasted... but enough is enough..

I'd say see ya......:blown:

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Originally posted by dgmodel

i can appreciate that however, youre not doogie howser, and youre not the one operating on him/her or whatever... while youre waiting in the ER, you can easily make a call, and if you dont have the quarter, you can use receptions desk... its just a phone call... and nowadays with the way telecommunication is its not a big deal, look i understand if it were back like 10 yrs ago, and blah but now, theres so many ways to get a hold of each other, and its effortless, so there really isnt any excuse but, " i dont wish to speak with you right now" thats it in my eyes...

Everyone handles chaos/confusion differently...To each their own way....

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I agree with spygirl here...everyone is handling chaos, stress and certain situations in a different way and maybe he really didn't want to talk to anyone at that moment. He called you in the evening and explained to you what had happened....so I really wouldn't make too much of a deal out of it (btw: I also hate those paging things....it's like calling a dog to IMMEDIATELY answer my call...and who wants to react immediatelyat a person's call).

The second part of your story...doing "better things" when they arise and ditching you...well, that's a total different story....that just plain out shows that he doesn't really care too much. If I'm really into a person...than honestly, I'd rather spend my time with them than any other crazy party or something like this.

Well, bella... good luck to you...and I hope you make/made the right decision. :)

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Guest bellaragazza
Originally posted by flying_high

(btw: I also hate those paging things....it's like calling a dog to IMMEDIATELY answer my call...and who wants to react immediatelyat a person's call).

so tell me then whats the point of having a pager? to know that people actually want to talk to you but not call them back? if thats the purpose then get a cell phone and turn the bloody thing off when you're not up to being sociable.

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Originally posted by bellaragazza

so tell me then whats the point of having a pager? to know that people actually want to talk to you but not call them back? if thats the purpose then get a cell phone and turn the bloody thing off when you're not up to being sociable.

...well, exactly my point...and that's why I don't have a pager or wouldn't give a pager to my baby either...

Get a cell phone for crying out loud and then the whole problem of finding a public phone, quarters or just a nice person that lets you use their cell phone...becomes negligible.

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Originally posted by flying_high

I agree with spygirl here...everyone is handling chaos, stress and certain situations in a different way and maybe he really didn't want to talk to anyone at that moment. He called you in the evening and explained to you what had happened....so I really wouldn't make too much of a deal out of it (btw: I also hate those paging things....it's like calling a dog to IMMEDIATELY answer my call...and who wants to react immediatelyat a person's call).

The second part of your story...doing "better things" when they arise and ditching you...well, that's a total different story....that just plain out shows that he doesn't really care too much. If I'm really into a person...than honestly, I'd rather spend my time with them than any other crazy party or something like this.

Well, bella... good luck to you...and I hope you make/made the right decision. :)

Thanks... I also hate pagers, just for the very reason that you need a phone....

If he is out right disrespecting you than ditch him...

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I think that anyone- guy or girl that dosent return phone calls and cancels plans last minute is plain RUDE. Unless all ten fingers are broken it is not hard to dial the phone. I don't think that a friend OR a boyfriend should treat you that way. It's totally disrespectful, you have every right to be pissed. Yes it is excusable once in a blue moon, but if this is an ongoing problem I'd kick em to the curb!!! You def should not stand for that shit hun. GOOD LUCK!!!

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