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37 Things

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What can I say, I was bored......Oh yeah, feel free to ask me if anybody needs an explanation/translation etc.

1)Moles are always smaller than you imagine.

2)At the end of every party there is always a fat

girl crying.

3)One of the most awkward things that can

happen in a pub is when your pint to toilet cycle get scynchronised with a complete stranger.

4)You've never quite sure whether its ok to eat

green crisps.

5)Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered

the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

6)Reading when your drunk is horrible.

7)Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel

really manly.

8)Your never quite sure whether its against the

law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

9)Whatever your age the desire to make plastic dolls shag is almost impossible to resist.

10)Nobody ever dares make cup a soup in a bowl.

11)You never know where to look when eating an apple.

12)Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13)Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14)Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

15)You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16)Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

17)The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

18)The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

19)Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20)Every bloke has at some stage while taking a piss flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

21)Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

22)Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a frisbee.

23)Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24)You never ever run out of salt.

25)Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26)You cant respect a man who carries a dog.

27)Theres no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you you've gotten your hand or head stuck in something.

28)No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

29)Despite constant warning you have never met anybody who has their arm broken by a swan.

30)The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

31)People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

32)Youve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood to specifically stir paint with.

33)Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34)Bricks are horrible to carry.

35)In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

36)Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.

37)Beneath every floating balloon is a tearful child.

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