aboyfrombklyn Posted May 8 Report Share Posted May 8 Do you find that when you start dating someone, you begin to lose the life you had before you met him/her. You might not hang out with your friends as much as you used to (and maybe not at all), you begin to focus so much and use all your energy on that person, he/she is all you think about, etc, etc, etc. It's a very bad thing, believe me! It's the beginning of the end of having your own life. I realize that in order for a relationship to work, each person must have his/her own life away from the other person. When two people spend too much energy on each other, problems start. That's what happened with me. I'm trying to figure out how to get out of it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chula22 Posted May 8 Report Share Posted May 8 Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn Do you find that when you start dating someone, you begin to lose the life you had before you met him/her. You might not hang out with your friends as much as you used to (and maybe not at all), you begin to focus so much and use all your energy on that person, he/she is all you think about, etc, etc, etc. It's a very bad thing, believe me! It's the beginning of the end of having your own life. I realize that in order for a relationship to work, each person must have his/her own life away from the other person. When two people spend too much energy on each other, problems start. That's what happened with me. I'm trying to figure out how to get out of it now. WEll I am going through the same thing right now. I always kept my life aside from Our life. But What happened to me was before him I had nothing to do on weekends, after him all of a sudden i had things to do and I would turn them down because the weekends were our time. Now he might be going upstate for the summer and I feel weird because I kinda side swiped my aquaintences. And I have to get back into things. If you find a solution you let me know and i will definitely keep you posted as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aboyfrombklyn Posted May 8 Author Report Share Posted May 8 The solution is to HAVE YOUR OWN LIFE! Believe it or not, giving someone their space helps in so many different ways. There's less of a chance of argument, the person cheating on you, or the person getting so sick of you that he/she walks away. It's sad to say, but I'm at the point where I can't go a weekend without seeing my girlfriend. Yeah, it's the only time I do see her since we both work during the week and live in different states, but I should still be okay with that. It's tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredgirl Posted May 8 Report Share Posted May 8 mmm i think im in the same situation like u, i start to feel like that in this last couple of days is a strange feeling ,u love ur partner but u need to hang out with friends and do stuff by ur self that's what im talking about having a partner in ur life doesnt mean u have to quite seen ur friends or hang around or lose some freedom because for me thats not a relationship i dont know i been feeling down this days in my relatinship and i dont know what exactly it is because i love my partner ....we often confuse and think relationship and marriage is some kind of "change ur life or attitude" and is completely wrongu dont have to change nothing having a new partner in ur life doesnt mean u have to change , if he or she felt in love with u is because of the way u are not because of the way u would be so i think we should continue with our lives without stop seeing hour friends yes we can change some stuff but who said that being in a relationship mean to be 24 hour a day with that person , not have a live , not going out with friends etc...all i said is we realy are miss understanding the relatinship and marriage meanings alot and that a big cause of failure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted May 8 Report Share Posted May 8 umm.. it will inevitably happen.... once u start dating someone... its "new".... and u cant help but want to spend time with that one person.... but... i think it is tru that it is a bad thing in a way. the person ur dating should never change ur way of life....he/she should only become a part of it. i think that time away from one another means that the time u will see each other is much more anticipated... and the 2 of u get to maintain ur own lifestyles.... whether it be with friends, family, whatever. but ur life is your own. no one should change that. but, that special someone, could very well add that lil something thats been missing to make ur life complete. and if u fully respect/love/trust one another, then u will be very understanding to ur partner's needs. :heart: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aboyfrombklyn Posted May 8 Author Report Share Posted May 8 Originally posted by linabina umm.. it will inevitably happen.... once u start dating someone... its "new".... and u cant help but want to spend time with that one person.... but... i think it is tru that it is a bad thing in a way. the person ur dating should never change ur way of life....he/she should only become a part of it. i think that time away from one another means that the time u will see each other is much more anticipated... and the 2 of u get to maintain ur own lifestyles.... whether it be with friends, family, whatever. but ur life is your own. no one should change that. but, that special someone, could very well add that lil something thats been missing to make ur life complete. and if u fully respect/love/trust one another, then u will be very understanding to ur partner's needs. :heart: That's exactly what I meant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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