dgmodel Posted June 28 Report Share Posted June 28 By Atiya HussainReutersNEW YORK - It's official. Men really are afraid of commitment.Confirming what women have long known, an American study released on Wednesday shows men are dragging their feet on getting married.Researchers say one of the biggest reasons that men are delaying marriage is that more and more couples are choosing to live together before marriage. As a result, sex -- traditionally one of the main reasons for men to marry -- is relatively easily available, they say."In a sense, with cohabitation he gets a quasi-wife without having to commit," said David Popenoe, co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University in New Jersey."Another big thing in addition to cohabitation is that these men are very, very concerned about divorce. It's not getting your heart broken ... the worst thing that could happen is that somebody could take their money," Popenoe adds.The preliminary findings reports on the attitudes toward marriage of 60 unmarried, heterosexual men, between the ages of 25-33. The participants, from different religious, ethnic and family backgrounds, were from four major metropolitan areas in northern New Jersey, Chicago, Houston, and Washington, D.C.Researchers say both men and women are putting off getting married. The average age for men's first marriage is now 27, the oldest in history, the study shows. That compares to the average age of 23 in 1960, Popenoe said.For women, the average age of their first marriage has risen to 25, a full five years older than the 1960 average.And giving women even more reason to be impatient that their boyfriends are dragging their feet, researchers say the trend favors the men."Guys can afford to wait to marry. The older they get, the better their chances in some ways of getting married, while for women it's the reverse," Popenoe said."Once a woman gets into her 30s, it's more likely that she will have to marry a man who was married earlier. It's more likely that she will marry a man who brings kids (into the marriage) and more likely that she will have a child by herself," Popenoe says.06/26/02 09:35 ET Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puck Posted June 28 Report Share Posted June 28 we wont commit caz we see so many beautiful women and we want them all after the adventrues are over then we will commit and there it is the thesis on all men...........mabye not all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nycmuzik Posted June 28 Report Share Posted June 28 Bla bla bla bla......Women are just as afraid to commit as men.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppanils Posted June 28 Report Share Posted June 28 with the divorce rate so high, i guess people just dont want to even bother Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoke Posted June 28 Report Share Posted June 28 Originally posted by bigpoppanils with the divorce rate so high, i guess people just dont want to even bother The divorce rate is high *because* people don't want to bother.People expect these Hollywood marriages where being in love means you never fight, never have hard times, and live happily ever after. Real life is MESSY, and people don't have the balls to face it head on."Another big thing in addition to cohabitation is that these men are very, very concerned about divorce. It's not getting your heart broken ... the worst thing that could happen is that somebody could take their money," Popenoe adds.Now that's just pathetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nycchic24 Posted June 28 Report Share Posted June 28 interesting ...i rmemeber reading somewhere that the divorce rate is lower between couples who DID NOT co-habitate with each other, compared to couples that did live together prior to marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted June 28 Report Share Posted June 28 Originally posted by nycchic24 interesting ...i rmemeber reading somewhere that the divorce rate is lower between couples who DID NOT co-habitate with each other, compared to couples that did live together prior to marriage. Yes, this is true. I wonder why?Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, living together's a pretty big freakin' commitment... oy vey... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted June 28 Report Share Posted June 28 naw i actually think it is not a fear of commitment itself, more a fear of missing something in life (= other chicks) by commiting to ONE chick.the more the merrier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puck Posted June 28 Report Share Posted June 28 naw i actually think it is not a fear of commitment itself, more a fear of missing something in life (= other chicks) by commiting to ONE chick.the more the merrier right on garfield Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gothzane Posted June 28 Report Share Posted June 28 Why does everyne need a legal document and a ring to have comittment?You dont need to be in a church sweating in a rental suite with your favorite crying newphews to make your vows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdancer Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 Interesting article Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 Originally posted by nycchic24 interesting ...i rmemeber reading somewhere that the divorce rate is lower between couples who DID NOT co-habitate with each other, compared to couples that did live together prior to marriage. actually, it's the other way around. more couples that live together before marriage divorce more than couples who do not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoke Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 Originally posted by sassa actually, it's the other way around. more couples that live together before marriage divorce more than couples who do not. That's exactly what she said, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 Originally posted by hoke That's exactly what she said, lol. oh doh!!!! today is a weird day, sorry about that obvious mistake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted June 29 Author Report Share Posted June 29 http://bbs.clubplanet.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=104571 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koky Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 i agree that its harder for men to commit than women .. but from my own personal experience & from alot of others ive seen.. once a man does commit its usually for the long run..no matter what... & the women who are dying to commit & get married , are usually wanting to , or do get divorced quicker than a woman who doesnt commit that easily.. i also think divorce is so high nowadays is cause its so easy to do so .. 1 little fight , or an arguement & thats it .... we are not getting along so we are getting divorced... less people are willing to fight for their marriage than ever... & thats really sad:( ... noone cares anymore about how the kids feel ( if there is any ) or what they are gonna feel cause of one little fight ...i believe that once married a , man has the ability to stick it out more & put up with more than most women... jmo .... p.s. ladies... be easy on me ok ?? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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