trueliguy Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 ok...here is the topic of the day. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now, and she still doesn't like it when i talk to girls...and godforbid i would want to hang out with a friend one night, and it was a girl....she doesn't understand it....I would literally be ...can everybody give me advice, suggestions and opinions?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codica3 Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 Of course it's ok.. if your girlfriend is THAT insecure about you and your relationship with her then there are some serious problems.. just about 90% of my friends consist of males.. and any boyfriend I've ever had knew that and they had no problem with it.. a friend is a friend.. they are an important aspect of your life just like a significant other is, just in different ways. Are you trying to tell me that she has NO male friends that she may confide in or chill with?? Three years is a decent amount of time.. I'm not sure why she still has a jealousy complex so it seems.. she doesn't seem like she's very secure in your relationship if she doesn't trust the idea of you chillin' with another female on a friend basis. Unless you have given her reasons to not trust you then I'm not quite sure. Have you spoken to her as to why she feels this way?? Does she ever hang out with male friends?? Does she have something personal against your female friends or is it just because they are female?? Does she even know them?? Has she given it a chance to get to know your friends and spend time with you and them and her friends as a group to realize that there is a friendship there and nothing else?? Is she the extremely jealous type that will always be like that and never change?? Blahh.. I'm rambling now.. I think Ima go take another shower.. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 My ex didn't like it when I talked to guys because he thought I wanted to get with them... he didn't like when I talked to girls because he thought I wanted to hook up with them...As I said, this is my *ex* I am talking about...'Nuff said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djqwest Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 It take two mature and secure individuals in a relationship for that to be acceptable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codica3 Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 Originally posted by djqwest It take two mature and secure individuals in a relationship for that to be acceptable. Exactly.. and I'm glad that so far in my experiences.. I've pretty much had no problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xpander Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 My friends are all girls, and my GF is fine with it. Read what qwest wrote. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 well, if your friends were lesbians, would she mind as much?she does sound incredibly insecure, if she knew you loved her and vice versa, then what's the big deal with having friends of the opposite sex, unless she thinks that all women are out to get her man..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howardstone Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 come on now . . . without a doubt it's ok to have friends of the opposite sex . . one of my best friends that I had my whole life is a girl, I can talk to her about anything, she is so understanding and really hears me when I talk to her. It would be horrible if I had my girlfriend( if I had one, that is) tell me I can't hang with her anymore, I mean, come on, that's crazy.Stone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdancer Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 Originally posted by trueliguy ok...here is the topic of the day. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now, and she still doesn't like it when i talk to girls...and godforbid i would want to hang out with a friend one night, and it was a girl....she doesn't understand it....I would literally be ...can everybody give me advice, suggestions and opinions?? Its acceptable. Moisten your girl up to the idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 YOU NEED TO HAVE A NIIIICE TALK W/ YOUR GF....IM IN ALMOST THE SAME SITUATION....THE MAJORITY OF MY FRIENDS ARE GUYS & MY BOYFRIEND CANT UNDERSTAND HOW I CAN CHILL W/ A GUY AS A FRIEND & NOT BE ATTRACTED TO THEM OR HOOK UP WITH THEM MEANWHILE THEY ARE ALL LIKE BROTHERS TO ME...YOU HAVE TO PUT A STOP TO THE PARANOID ATTITUDE SHE HAS GOING ON B/C IF YOU DON'T ITS ONLY GOING TO MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE....INSTEAD OF HANGING OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS ON YOUR OWN...BRING HER ALONG WITH YOU B/C MAYBE SHES FEELING LEFT OUT OR JEALOUS B/C OF THESE FEMALE FRIENDS...RELATIONSHIPS REALLY SUCK SOMETIMES :roll: :roll: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reeni Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 your girlfriend sounds insecure.my ex was like that he acted like that got very jealous when i said hi to a guy asked me where did i know him from did i sleep with him so it came to the point i was sneaking around to hang out with my male friends.have you introduced your g/f to your female friends maybe if she met them she wouldnt be so insecure.most of my friends are male and know if i guy i date cant handle that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 If you dont have trust, you dont have anything. bottom line.If you dont trust your significant other not to cheat on you, what are you doing with them in the first place?The only other reasons an individual might have a problem with opposite-sex friendships are that the he/she has low self-esteem and/or he/she is a control freak. Either way, they're wrong and they should get some therapy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djqwest Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 I agree with this however, it's difficult to change people who are insecure about themselves or they're relationships. ( because it stems from something or someone from way back).It's def. a good idea to get your partner more involved with these opposite sex friends... but that can be really uncomfortable for the both of you, and may only cause additional problems.The real issue is... is your partner on the same level as you. If this topic is a problem for you... you need to do some re-evaluating!Originally posted by sweetie029 YOU NEED TO HAVE A NIIIICE TALK W/ YOUR GF....IM IN ALMOST THE SAME SITUATION....THE MAJORITY OF MY FRIENDS ARE GUYS & MY BOYFRIEND CANT UNDERSTAND HOW I CAN CHILL W/ A GUY AS A FRIEND & NOT BE ATTRACTED TO THEM OR HOOK UP WITH THEM MEANWHILE THEY ARE ALL LIKE BROTHERS TO ME...YOU HAVE TO PUT A STOP TO THE PARANOID ATTITUDE SHE HAS GOING ON B/C IF YOU DON'T ITS ONLY GOING TO MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE....INSTEAD OF HANGING OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS ON YOUR OWN...BRING HER ALONG WITH YOU B/C MAYBE SHES FEELING LEFT OUT OR JEALOUS B/C OF THESE FEMALE FRIENDS...RELATIONSHIPS REALLY SUCK SOMETIMES :roll: :roll: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trueliguy Posted July 9 Author Report Share Posted July 9 ok....let me further explain. I have a few female friends, but my main question SHOULD HAVE BEEN......is it ok to MAKE friends with girls, while havning a g/f...i mean, if you meet a girl at work, in aq class......somewhere, and you seem to get along good, and would like to hang out...just as friends, is that acceptable?? thoughts? opinions? comments.............alot of great responses so far Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djqwest Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 I give up with you !Originally posted by trueliguy ok....let me further explain. I have a few female friends, but my main question SHOULD HAVE BEEN......is it ok to MAKE friends with girls, while havning a g/f...i mean, if you meet a girl at work, in aq class......somewhere, and you seem to get along good, and would like to hang out...just as friends, is that acceptable?? thoughts? opinions? comments.............alot of great responses so far Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 ...NOW THAT CAN CAUSE A LITTLE PROBLEM....ALREADY HAVING FEMALE FRIENDS WHO YOU'VE KNOWN FOR A WHILE IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT THEN GOING OUT MEETING A GIRL & SAYING "WE'RE JUST FRIENDS"...MAYBE YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS NOT INSECURE BECAUSE YOU WANTING TO GO OUT & MAKE FEMALE FRIENDS MIGHT MAKE HER A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS OF YOUR INTENSIONS B/C SHE MIGHT TAKE THAT AS YOU TRYING TO HIT ON A GIR OR THAT YOUR GOING TO FIND SOMEONE ELSEL....YOU ALSO HAVE TO REALIZE THESE GIRLS YOU ARE ALREADY FRIENDS WITH YOU'VE MADE THAT BOND WITH ALREADY BUT IF YOU HAPPEN TO COME ACROSS A GIRL WHO SEEMS COOL & YOU WOULD WANT TO HANG OUT WITH...THAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD TO SOME SORT OF FEELINGS BEING INVOLVED :roll: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 as long as you arent fucking them or doing other stuff with them it is cool. if you want to be with other women you shoudnt have a girlfriend... i personally wouldnt care if i knew they were just friends but i also know most male - female relationships arent platonic. i dont know any guys who want to hang out & have no intent of something more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reeni Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 well now thats different your human and you meet ppl everyday but if your just meeting girls and wanting to go out with them alone sounds like you want to date other ppl if so get out of the relationship so you can feel free to do so if there just your friends as you say then bring your g/f along Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trueliguy Posted July 9 Author Report Share Posted July 9 so....let me get this straight...if i go to a baseball game with my brother and we sit next to a group of guys, we are allowed to hang out with them and go for a few beers....but, if it was a group of girls, i am not allowed......what is the difference besides a difference between boobs and a d*ck?!?!?!?!?! do i have to stop talking to all women since i have a g/f?!?!?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codica3 Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 Originally posted by trueliguy ok....let me further explain. I have a few female friends, but my main question SHOULD HAVE BEEN......is it ok to MAKE friends with girls, while havning a g/f...i mean, if you meet a girl at work, in aq class......somewhere, and you seem to get along good, and would like to hang out...just as friends, is that acceptable?? thoughts? opinions? comments.............alot of great responses so far I think you're allowed to meet new people if you want to but it's a lil different if you're thinking about meeting new people and then going out with them one on one.. that does sound more like you're trying to "date" other people while having the backdrop of a girlfriend for security.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starcapone Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 That's not a healthy relationship, you should be able to esp. if it's truely just a hang out thing. You need a few adjustments in your relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 As far as meeting new people... yeah you definitely should be able to, however I can understand how your girl might construe that as a threatening situation... are you trying to include her in these friendships, or does she refuse to even try to meet these people? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
totallytrance Posted July 9 Report Share Posted July 9 Originally posted by djqwest It take two mature and secure individuals in a relationship for that to be acceptable. AMEN!, all though my b/f is like that all the time, he says he doesn't trust the other guys but I tell him that he can trust me...he still gets really jealous for really dumb reasons...go figure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gmoneyjive Posted July 10 Report Share Posted July 10 Originally posted by totallytrance AMEN!, all though my b/f is like that all the time, he says he doesn't trust the other guys but I tell him that he can trust me...he still gets really jealous for really dumb reasons...go figure Totally off subject, but I had to say it... I always have sigs turned off cuz ppl walk by my cubicle at work & I don't want them seeing much... I just turned them back on... and goddamn your sig is fuckin hilarious!! LMFAO!!! Damn I didn't know what I was missing with sigs turned off On a more serious note... yeah what everyone else said, your gf needs to be a little less insecure. It's fine to go out & meet other girls, as long as your goal is for friendship & not to fuck them I understand that she may see this as a threatening situation, but as long as you're not truly looking for another gf then she needs to deal with it. As tastyt said, try to include her in these friendships IF she is willing. If you really are looking for someone else, or if she just can't deal with you having any girls as friends, then maybe it wasn't meant to be... just my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjcbebe Posted July 10 Report Share Posted July 10 ok here is my experiance. I had a boyfriend for 3 years and for those 3 years i had male friends... my boyfriend wa svery liberal with me. He despised clubs and I always love them so he let me go with my male friends. For 2 years of the three that we were together I had a best friend. When things started to break with my boyfriend i turned to my best friend, who i realized was more like me. Now I am married to that best friend. I can't say that it was wrong for my ex to be so liberal because had he not been I would have left him earlier. There were tons of guys that were my friends that i had no interest in. But when things started to go down hill i started to look at them differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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