Post Your Joke Here

[HAZE]

Here's mine:

A woman awakes during the night to find her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room," Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee," Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.

"Yes I do" she replies.

The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"

"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten out today".

[f0xyminx]

[az-tec]

lol...

i got one....

DANWILSON

[joeg]

Originally posted by az-tec

lol...

i got one....

DANWILSON

HOLY SHIT!!!!! lol... andy out of nowhere with the powerplay!

Wheres quoth and codica to kick the extra point?

[quoth]

what's THEE worst thing about being danwilson??

Having access to a computer.

[howardstone]

What did the farmer say when he lost his tracktor?

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"where's my tracktor?"

Stone:laugh:

[TrentBeefpile]

Originally posted by howardstone

What did the farmer say when he lost his tracktor?

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"where's my tracktor?"

Stone:laugh:

dude, thats just not funny

[bigpoppanils]

whats the difference between acne and a priest?

acne waits until 12 before coming on your face

[quoth]

What do you call hemmroids on a fag?

speedbumps

[howardstone]

Originally posted by TrentBeefpile

dude, thats just not funny

THAT WAS YOUR FIRST POST AND YOU PLAYER HATED????? WOW, YOU ARE SOMETHING SPECIAL.

Stone.

[TrentBeefpile]

Originally posted by howardstone

THAT WAS YOUR FIRST POST AND YOU PLAYER HATED????? WOW, YOU ARE SOMETHING SPECIAL.

Stone.

nah, no hatin

[HAZE]

Here's another one:

A guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always wanted a big Harley. He

shops around, answering ads in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One

day he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for sale" sign on it.

Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires

about it with the owner.

"This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in

such good shape.

"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike

is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it

from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of

Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of

Vaseline.

The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes the bike over to

show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan).

That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's parents'

house. It's the first time he's going to meet them and figures it will make a

big impression. When the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs her

boyfriend's arm.

"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you something about my parents before we go

in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything

during dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says. And in they go.

The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a

huge stack of dirty dishes. In the family room, another huge stack of dishes.

Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage of the situation.

So he leans over and kisses his girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides

to reach over and fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents, but still they

keep quiet.

So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make love

right on the dinner table. Still, no one says a word.

"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he grabs his girlfriend's Mom and has his

way with her right there on the dinner table. Again, total silence.

Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the boyfriend realizes it's starting

to rain. He figures he'd better take care of the motorcycle, so he pulls the

Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All right, all right! I'll do the fuckin' dishes!!"