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Jerzey Guidos


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Funniest email I got in a while....

The Hater's Anthem

"Sorry but I can't be one -sided" ~Moo

What's up NJGUIDO fans? Are you ready for another wild and crazy weekend down at the one and only Jersey Shore?

Are you all pumped up? Have you been watching your carbohydrate consumption? Have you been locked up in the gym all week like a caged animal, exhausting yourself so you can look impressive in your favorite Diesel gear? Has visions of KTU Beatstock been going through your head while you try and concentrate at work? Do you not even feel the needle anymore when it pierces your ass-cheek cause the adreneline is flowing so much?

Well what the hell are you waiting for? Get down the shore now! Time to show off to those beautiful ladies what you take so much pride in, YOU!!! After all, you didn't spend $30 on that fresh, spiky do, $225 on tinted Gucci sunglasses, $90 on that beautiful Diesel tank top, and $400 on a cycle of winstrol v for nothing, right?

Show that you have a lion heart and go party like a rock star. Its weekends like these that last forever, even longer than that cycle you just finished. So get down to Surf Club before an ounce of body fat ruins your entire life, what you have worked so hard to achieve. Who knows, maybe that modeling recruiter for CK may show up and sign you to a contract.

And I know you are longing for the sweet sounds of DJ Denny Tsettos after a tough week of work. That radio in your pizza delivery truck is starting to sound old. We all know that Shiny Disco Balls sounds better coming off Denny's turn tables than it does on KTU, Gumba Johnny just doesn't do the song justice. Plus, the ladies love him so he must be good, right?

Well NJGUIDOS, the shore awaits as does all the good times. The memories of these crazy weekends will last forever, if the ketamine and dirty X haven't destroyed most of your brain cells. So go out, have good time, and get laid before your testicles shrivel up due to the sauce. Remember, be lion-hearted and pary like a rock star.

Don't miss a weekend, don't ever miss a weekend.

Don't ever disrespect Temptations. Don't ever disrespect Surf Club. Don't ever disrespect DJ's Happy Hour. Don't ever disrespect DJ Denny Tsettos. Don't ever disrespect the Sopranos. Don't ever disrespect Diesel gear. And don't ever, EVER, disrespect the Moo.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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