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Perfect solution???

jp18

By jp18
in New York / New Jersey

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jp18 Newbie

jp18

Posted
Posted

Someone emailed this to my work email and I dont even know the person....Wise ASS!!

THE PERFECT SOLUTION?

Tired of waiting endlessly in Parkway traffic on your way down the

shore?

If you're like most of us, there's a good chance you've spent countless

hours staring at the back of the same bumper, riding your brake and

have

possibly developed a minor case of whiplash from the stop-and-go that

one

encounters while attempting to arrive at the New Jersey Shore.

Travelers

fear no more!

I have the solution|

-- THE GUIDO EXPRESS LANE --

The proposed Guido Express Lane, or G.E.L., is structured identically

to

the H.O.V. lanes introduced in the late 90's across much of NJ, NY and

PA.

The following requirements for access to the G.E.L. will apply to all

vehicle occupants:

Cut-off shirts or wife beaters must be worn at all times. If the

vehicle is

a convertible, no shirts are allowed.

Capri pants must be worn. Addidas pants are acceptable only with

matching

jackets and a Kangol hat.

All vehicle occupants must have identical haircuts - spiked all around

(including the back) or must have shaved heads. All sideburns must be

shaved to a point.

All body hair must be completely shaven.

All vehicles in the G.E.L. must be considered "exotic" or "luxury

cars,"

but must be paid for by the driver's parents.

Vehicle must contain at least 13 pounds of fake silver bracelets and

necklaces. Necklaces may only be loose enough to allow minimal

breathing.

Should any member(s) of the vehicle fail to comply with any one of the

aforementioned requirements, said member(s) will receive a two-month

suspension from Joey's in Clifton and Tempts. In addition to the

obvious

ecological benefits, the proposed G.E.L. would also provide the

following

free of charge:

Upon entering the G.E.L., the vehicle's radio would automatically be

tuned

to a satellite feed of "What is Love" by Haddaway or "Louder Than Love"

by

TKA. (Driver preference)

The center divider would be lined with Sunburst Ultra Sun 4000 series

tanning lamps which would run 24 hours a day to ensure a perfect

pre-beach/club complexion. To become a G.E.L. member, you must be

Italian

(or try really hard to look Italian) and test positive for steroids.

So the next time you're at a dead stop at exit 143 for two hours, take

a

minute and think how much you would appreciate a G.E.L. I, and all the

Tri-State area guidos, am counting on your support!

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phillydiva Newbie

phillydiva

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by jp18

Someone emailed this to my work email and I dont even know the person....Wise ASS!!

THE PERFECT SOLUTION?

Tired of waiting endlessly in Parkway traffic on your way down the

shore?

If you're like most of us, there's a good chance you've spent countless

hours staring at the back of the same bumper, riding your brake and

have

possibly developed a minor case of whiplash from the stop-and-go that

one

encounters while attempting to arrive at the New Jersey Shore.

Travelers

fear no more!

I have the solution|

-- THE GUIDO EXPRESS LANE --

The proposed Guido Express Lane, or G.E.L., is structured identically

to

the H.O.V. lanes introduced in the late 90's across much of NJ, NY and

PA.

The following requirements for access to the G.E.L. will apply to all

vehicle occupants:

Cut-off shirts or wife beaters must be worn at all times. If the

vehicle is

a convertible, no shirts are allowed.

Capri pants must be worn. Addidas pants are acceptable only with

matching

jackets and a Kangol hat.

All vehicle occupants must have identical haircuts - spiked all around

(including the back) or must have shaved heads. All sideburns must be

shaved to a point.

All body hair must be completely shaven.

All vehicles in the G.E.L. must be considered "exotic" or "luxury

cars,"

but must be paid for by the driver's parents.

Vehicle must contain at least 13 pounds of fake silver bracelets and

necklaces. Necklaces may only be loose enough to allow minimal

breathing.

Should any member(s) of the vehicle fail to comply with any one of the

aforementioned requirements, said member(s) will receive a two-month

suspension from Joey's in Clifton and Tempts. In addition to the

obvious

ecological benefits, the proposed G.E.L. would also provide the

following

free of charge:

Upon entering the G.E.L., the vehicle's radio would automatically be

tuned

to a satellite feed of "What is Love" by Haddaway or "Louder Than Love"

by

TKA. (Driver preference)

The center divider would be lined with Sunburst Ultra Sun 4000 series

tanning lamps which would run 24 hours a day to ensure a perfect

pre-beach/club complexion. To become a G.E.L. member, you must be

Italian

(or try really hard to look Italian) and test positive for steroids.

So the next time you're at a dead stop at exit 143 for two hours, take

a

minute and think how much you would appreciate a G.E.L. I, and all the

Tri-State area guidos, am counting on your support!

HA HA!!:D

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jp18 Newbie

jp18

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Originally posted by SPYGIRL2

So are you at ease now??? hee hee:tongue:

Yep...Its not the email that bothered me, it was that it was sent to my work account...Which I use for WORK!! Ya know what I mean...Cant have people sending porno or nothing:D

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