jp18 Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 Someone emailed this to my work email and I dont even know the person....Wise ASS!!THE PERFECT SOLUTION?Tired of waiting endlessly in Parkway traffic on your way down the shore? If you're like most of us, there's a good chance you've spent countless hours staring at the back of the same bumper, riding your brake and have possibly developed a minor case of whiplash from the stop-and-go that one encounters while attempting to arrive at the New Jersey Shore. Travelers fear no more!I have the solution|-- THE GUIDO EXPRESS LANE --The proposed Guido Express Lane, or G.E.L., is structured identically tothe H.O.V. lanes introduced in the late 90's across much of NJ, NY and PA. The following requirements for access to the G.E.L. will apply to all vehicle occupants:Cut-off shirts or wife beaters must be worn at all times. If the vehicle is a convertible, no shirts are allowed.Capri pants must be worn. Addidas pants are acceptable only with matching jackets and a Kangol hat.All vehicle occupants must have identical haircuts - spiked all around(including the back) or must have shaved heads. All sideburns must beshaved to a point.All body hair must be completely shaven.All vehicles in the G.E.L. must be considered "exotic" or "luxury cars,"but must be paid for by the driver's parents.Vehicle must contain at least 13 pounds of fake silver bracelets andnecklaces. Necklaces may only be loose enough to allow minimal breathing.Should any member(s) of the vehicle fail to comply with any one of theaforementioned requirements, said member(s) will receive a two-monthsuspension from Joey's in Clifton and Tempts. In addition to the obvious ecological benefits, the proposed G.E.L. would also provide the following free of charge:Upon entering the G.E.L., the vehicle's radio would automatically be tuned to a satellite feed of "What is Love" by Haddaway or "Louder Than Love" by TKA. (Driver preference)The center divider would be lined with Sunburst Ultra Sun 4000 seriestanning lamps which would run 24 hours a day to ensure a perfect pre-beach/club complexion. To become a G.E.L. member, you must be Italian (or try really hard to look Italian) and test positive for steroids.So the next time you're at a dead stop at exit 143 for two hours, take aminute and think how much you would appreciate a G.E.L. I, and all the Tri-State area guidos, am counting on your support! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perns2002 Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jp18 Posted August 28 Author Report Share Posted August 28 Originally posted by perns2002 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Yeah...I dont know who sent it to me, but they obviously now me pretty well:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perns2002 Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 I love it I have another for you let me dig it up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phillydiva Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 Originally posted by jp18 Someone emailed this to my work email and I dont even know the person....Wise ASS!!THE PERFECT SOLUTION?Tired of waiting endlessly in Parkway traffic on your way down the shore? If you're like most of us, there's a good chance you've spent countless hours staring at the back of the same bumper, riding your brake and have possibly developed a minor case of whiplash from the stop-and-go that one encounters while attempting to arrive at the New Jersey Shore. Travelers fear no more!I have the solution|-- THE GUIDO EXPRESS LANE --The proposed Guido Express Lane, or G.E.L., is structured identically tothe H.O.V. lanes introduced in the late 90's across much of NJ, NY and PA. The following requirements for access to the G.E.L. will apply to all vehicle occupants:Cut-off shirts or wife beaters must be worn at all times. If the vehicle is a convertible, no shirts are allowed.Capri pants must be worn. Addidas pants are acceptable only with matching jackets and a Kangol hat.All vehicle occupants must have identical haircuts - spiked all around(including the back) or must have shaved heads. All sideburns must beshaved to a point.All body hair must be completely shaven.All vehicles in the G.E.L. must be considered "exotic" or "luxury cars,"but must be paid for by the driver's parents.Vehicle must contain at least 13 pounds of fake silver bracelets andnecklaces. Necklaces may only be loose enough to allow minimal breathing.Should any member(s) of the vehicle fail to comply with any one of theaforementioned requirements, said member(s) will receive a two-monthsuspension from Joey's in Clifton and Tempts. In addition to the obvious ecological benefits, the proposed G.E.L. would also provide the following free of charge:Upon entering the G.E.L., the vehicle's radio would automatically be tuned to a satellite feed of "What is Love" by Haddaway or "Louder Than Love" by TKA. (Driver preference)The center divider would be lined with Sunburst Ultra Sun 4000 seriestanning lamps which would run 24 hours a day to ensure a perfect pre-beach/club complexion. To become a G.E.L. member, you must be Italian (or try really hard to look Italian) and test positive for steroids.So the next time you're at a dead stop at exit 143 for two hours, take aminute and think how much you would appreciate a G.E.L. I, and all the Tri-State area guidos, am counting on your support! HA HA!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunnie818 Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 That's HYSTERICAL!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stiffler Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 I think I qualify, except for the steroids.........can't do that shit anymore..getting to old and I like me the way I am........... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpdd810 Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 :laugh: :laugh: That shit is tooo funny!! That pretty much describes surf club beach!! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubleplay1970 Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 that was funny as hell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveespa Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 :laugh: ...omg i almost fell off my chair:laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jp18 Posted August 28 Author Report Share Posted August 28 I still havent figured out the hell this person is who sent it to me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neena1979 Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 Originally posted by jp18 I still havent figured out the hell this person is who sent it to me... it was meant for you hun...they need your support. Do they have anything for guidettes??? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 Originally posted by jp18 I still havent figured out the hell this person is who sent it to me... You got a stalker!!!!!! lolJ/K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jp18 Posted August 28 Author Report Share Posted August 28 Originally posted by SPYGIRL2 You got a stalker!!!!!! lolJ/K I figured out who it was.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 Originally posted by jp18 I figured out who it was.. So are you at ease now??? hee hee:tongue: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jp18 Posted August 28 Author Report Share Posted August 28 Originally posted by SPYGIRL2 So are you at ease now??? hee hee:tongue: Yep...Its not the email that bothered me, it was that it was sent to my work account...Which I use for WORK!! Ya know what I mean...Cant have people sending porno or nothing:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 Originally posted by jp18 Yep...Its not the email that bothered me, it was that it was sent to my work account...Which I use for WORK!! Ya know what I mean...Cant have people sending porno or nothing:D Ahhh, I see...this is a good point..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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