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revaluation

Hangover

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They don't call it intoxication for nothing. Happy juice is poisonous. Put enough of it into your body and you die. What concerns us here, however, is not so much alcohol itself (which we'll take as a given) but the by-products of alcohol, and especially one particularly nasty chemical critter by the name of acetaldehyde. It's got a lot more of the bad kind of kapow, and the latest research suggests that it may be responsible for the worst of your hangover.

Symptoms

After you ingest alcohol, your body breaks it down into (among other things) acetaldehyde, before converting it into less harmful substances. The acetaldehyde messes with your brain at the same time as a host of depleted minerals are short-circuiting your nervous system, and that's in addition to low blood sugar and the classic headache-and-dry-mouth symptoms caused by dehydration. The result: nausea, twitchy nerves, unpleasantness, pessimism, terrible brain pain, and a temporary suspension of the laws of gravity.

Here it is: the fruit of all our painstaking research, The Almighty Hangover Emergency Cure. While the ingredients in this kit are based on hard science and not personal mythology, it must be said that there really is no cure for a hangover in the same sense that penicillin is a cure for an infection. There are several things, however, that you can put into your body to ease the pain and assist rapid recovery, including a little-known substance called cysteine. Cysteine directly counteracts the poisonous effects of acetaldehyde. The following arsenal-in-a-milkshake is so loaded with the anti-toxic munitions your body needs, that after it makes short work of your hangover, it might just clear out your nasal passages, shrink your hemorrhoids, and leap out of your body and write your History term paper. Behold the official Almighty Hangover Emergency Cure (patent pending):

1. Take 2 aspirins

2. Take 200mg cysteine (available at specialty food stores)

3. Take 600mg vitamin C

4. Take 1 tablet vitamin B-complex

5. Mix the following ingredients together in a blender:

1 banana

1 small can V-8

6 large strawberries

2 tablespoons honey

1 cup orange juice

1-2 cups milk (or soy milk), to desired consistency

¼ tsp. salt

dash of nutmeg

6. Drink it all up.

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When you are suffering from the effects of an excruciating hangover, there is no limit to the remedies you might try. Here you will find the truth about some of the most well known remedies. Which have you tried?

"Coffee will sober you up." FALSE. It simply makes you a wide-awake drunk. While coffee does NOT help sober you up, it can provide some relief for that pounding headache. On the down side, the caffeine in the coffee can increase dehydration and irritate your stomach further. Be sure to drink plenty of extra water if you drink coffee.

It is also important to not drink coffee right before you try to sleep. The caffeine will interfere with the sleep that your body desperately needs to recover. If you usually have coffee in the morning, however, it may be a good idea to have a small cup. At least then you won't experience two drug withdrawals at the same time.

"A hair of the dog that bit you." FALSE. This refers to the remedy of drinking more alcohol to relieve the affects of alcohol consumed the night before. The hangover victim is supposed to drink the same drink that they drank the night before, although some substitute a Bloody Mary.

You feel so awful when you wake up with a hangover because your body is going through mild withdrawals from an alcohol overdose. By drinking more alcohol, you may alleviate some symptoms of the hangover, BUT the effects are only temporary. Sorry, but you will still face the eventual hangover. It is also important to note that this behavior can lead to alcohol abuse and can signal that you have drinking problem.

"Don't mix your liquors." TRUE. Drinking different types of alcohol confuses your body and makes it more difficult for your body to separate and metabolize them.

"Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, never fear." TRUE. It seems that when we need it the most, we can never quite remember this silly rhyme. Because beer is carbonated, drinking it before liquor will cause your body to absorb the alcohol much more quickly, causing you to feel the effects more quickly than usual.

"Time is the only cure." TRUE (unfortunately). Today, time is the only cure for hangovers. All other purported remedies may help alleviate symptoms, but they won't remove them completely. . .Sorry.

"Vodka and gin won't give you a hangover." FALSE. While these liquors have fewer congeners (by-products of alcohol metabolism), they can still give you a hangover when abused. Generally, lighter colored liquors are less likely to give you a hangover, but they can still hurt!

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. Behold the official Almighty Hangover Emergency Cure (patent pending):

1. Take 2 aspirins

2. Take 200mg cysteine (available at specialty food stores)

3. Take 600mg vitamin C

4. Take 1 tablet vitamin B-complex

5. Mix the following ingredients together in a blender:

1 banana

1 small can V-8

6 large strawberries

2 tablespoons honey

1 cup orange juice

1-2 cups milk (or soy milk), to desired consistency

¼ tsp. salt

dash of nutmeg

6. Drink it all up.

I usually just start drinking again when I wake up and that cures my hangover, it's never failed. Gotta have a bottle hidden in your desk at work at all times.......

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