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aboyfrombklyn

Who's The Initiator???

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Do you find that you are always the person initiating sex? I don't know what it is, but I always find myself trying to initiate things with my girlfriend. She's a 25 year old virgin who was brought up to believe that sex before marriage is wrong, but we do everything else. Sometimes it's hard to get her to do things, but once I'm down south munching away, she loves it!

My therapist told me not to jump to conclusions and think that maybe she's not attracted to me (It's hard not to when you feel like shit about yourself to begin with) He told me that maybe she had some sort of traumatic experience in the past, maybe she's insecure about her sexuality, etc. I can tell you one thing, it sure is frustrating. Does anyone else have to deal with always trying to initiate things? I just wish she would jump on me once in a while!!:(

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Originally posted by ou812

go sleep w/ her best friend................that'll teach her a lesson.....................25 yr old virgin?, HA, whoever heard of such a thing?

Well, except for me, but that's another story.

1st - I'd never do such a thing.

2nd - She is a virgin. She doesn't even really know how sex works (talk about being sheltered). She was afraid of getting pregnant one day when I got cum on her leg.

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Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn

Do you find that you are always the person initiating sex? I don't know what it is, but I always find myself trying to initiate things with my girlfriend. She's a 25 year old virgin who was brought up to believe that sex before marriage is wrong, but we do everything else. Sometimes it's hard to get her to do things, but once I'm down south munching away, she loves it!

My therapist told me not to jump to conclusions and think that maybe she's not attracted to me (It's hard not to when you feel like shit about yourself to begin with) He told me that maybe she had some sort of traumatic experience in the past, maybe she's insecure about her sexuality, etc. I can tell you one thing, it sure is frustrating. Does anyone else have to deal with always trying to initiate things? I just wish she would jump on me once in a while!!:(

I know exactly how you feel. My girlfriend and I are pretty sexually active, but I always feel like I am the one who is initiating it. She thinks that we have alot of sex, but I think we don't have enough. I guess I am just a horny bastard :D But always being the initiator makes me sometimes feel like a "molestor" for lack of a better word. It also makes me very self conscious and unwanted. I find myself intentionally not initiating sex when I would really want to and hoping that she would jump on me and when that doesnt happen, I feel even worse. :(

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Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn

Do you find that you are always the person initiating sex? I don't know what it is, but I always find myself trying to initiate things with my girlfriend. She's a 25 year old virgin who was brought up to believe that sex before marriage is wrong, but we do everything else. Sometimes it's hard to get her to do things, but once I'm down south munching away, she loves it!

My therapist told me not to jump to conclusions and think that maybe she's not attracted to me (It's hard not to when you feel like shit about yourself to begin with) He told me that maybe she had some sort of traumatic experience in the past, maybe she's insecure about her sexuality, etc. I can tell you one thing, it sure is frustrating. Does anyone else have to deal with always trying to initiate things? I just wish she would jump on me once in a while!!:(

well normally I would agree with your therapist= a tramatic experience (sex crime victim) can cause a female to be fucked up relationship wise ( for lack of a better word) -- but in your case it sounds like shes a sheltered prude- ( I am not bashing your chica )

but you guys seem to have a normal dating relationship where you still see each other and not freak out after the "act"

so maybe you should re evqaluate her maturity or discuss it DIRECTLY

IF YOU NEED ACTION

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Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn

2nd - She is a virgin. She doesn't even really know how sex works (talk about being sheltered). She was afraid of getting pregnant one day when I got cum on her leg.

Ok, this girl needs some serious sex ed... seriously... I don't know where you can start with this one, maybe there's some kind of sex therapist you two can see together, but having so little knowledge about your own body is neither healthy or normal.

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Originally posted by timetraveler69

I know exactly how you feel. My girlfriend and I are pretty sexually active, but I always feel like I am the one who is initiating it. She thinks that we have alot of sex, but I think we don't have enough. I guess I am just a horny bastard :D But always being the initiator makes me sometimes feel like a "molestor" for lack of a better word. It also makes me very self conscious and unwanted. I find myself intentionally not initiating sex when I would really want to and hoping that she would jump on me and when that doesnt happen, I feel even worse. :(

That's exactly how I feel. I feel like I'm doing something wrong whenever I try initiating something with her.

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Originally posted by tastyt

Ok, this girl needs some serious sex ed... seriously... I don't know where you can start with this one, maybe there's some kind of sex therapist you two can see together, but having so little knowledge about your own body is neither healthy or normal.

I totally agree with what you're saying. I had to sit there one day and explain how things work. One day we were both laying in bed naked and I got some of my man juice on her leg right by her area and she freaked. I explained that it takes a lot more for something to happen. It's frustrating, but she's a sweetheart.

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Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn

I totally agree with what you're saying. I had to sit there one day and explain how things work. One day we were both laying in bed naked and I got some of my man juice on her leg right by her area and she freaked. I explained that it takes a lot more for something to happen. It's frustrating, but she's a sweetheart.

It's not a big deal....Just because she's a virgin doesn't mean shes clueless about sex..If anything, she's probably overly PARANOID about sex due to the fact she has a fear of getting pregnant :confused: There are plenty of girls who are absolutely petrified of cum b/c they think if it goes anywhere near their hole they can somehow get pregnant...Just try talking to her about it...this fear is there for a reason & if guys are serious sex is going to become a conflicting issue in your relationship reallll soon

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Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn

Do you find that you are always the person initiating sex? I don't know what it is, but I always find myself trying to initiate things with my girlfriend. She's a 25 year old virgin who was brought up to believe that sex before marriage is wrong, but we do everything else. Sometimes it's hard to get her to do things, but once I'm down south munching away, she loves it!

My therapist told me not to jump to conclusions and think that maybe she's not attracted to me (It's hard not to when you feel like shit about yourself to begin with) He told me that maybe she had some sort of traumatic experience in the past, maybe she's insecure about her sexuality, etc. I can tell you one thing, it sure is frustrating. Does anyone else have to deal with always trying to initiate things? I just wish she would jump on me once in a while!!:(

It is equal for the most part. You usually tell when the other person wants something to happen. There is a different vibe you when you are just laying on the couch watching tv then when you are laying on the couch with the tv on...... When the mood strikes out of the blue, go for it, you never know....:tongue::D

As far your therapist, I agree a traumatic experience of any kind is going to cause some kind of fear in a person. Someone who is as sheltered as you say she is, probably thinks all the things ahe is doing with you are wrong. Even though once you get going she loves it, she probably feels guilty....

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