aboyfrombklyn Posted October 30 Report Share Posted October 30 Do you find that you are always the person initiating sex? I don't know what it is, but I always find myself trying to initiate things with my girlfriend. She's a 25 year old virgin who was brought up to believe that sex before marriage is wrong, but we do everything else. Sometimes it's hard to get her to do things, but once I'm down south munching away, she loves it! My therapist told me not to jump to conclusions and think that maybe she's not attracted to me (It's hard not to when you feel like shit about yourself to begin with) He told me that maybe she had some sort of traumatic experience in the past, maybe she's insecure about her sexuality, etc. I can tell you one thing, it sure is frustrating. Does anyone else have to deal with always trying to initiate things? I just wish she would jump on me once in a while!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ou812 Posted October 30 Report Share Posted October 30 go sleep w/ her best friend................that'll teach her a lesson.....................25 yr old virgin?, HA, whoever heard of such a thing?Well, except for me, but that's another story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aboyfrombklyn Posted October 30 Author Report Share Posted October 30 Originally posted by ou812 go sleep w/ her best friend................that'll teach her a lesson.....................25 yr old virgin?, HA, whoever heard of such a thing?Well, except for me, but that's another story. 1st - I'd never do such a thing.2nd - She is a virgin. She doesn't even really know how sex works (talk about being sheltered). She was afraid of getting pregnant one day when I got cum on her leg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timetraveler69 Posted October 30 Report Share Posted October 30 Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn Do you find that you are always the person initiating sex? I don't know what it is, but I always find myself trying to initiate things with my girlfriend. She's a 25 year old virgin who was brought up to believe that sex before marriage is wrong, but we do everything else. Sometimes it's hard to get her to do things, but once I'm down south munching away, she loves it! My therapist told me not to jump to conclusions and think that maybe she's not attracted to me (It's hard not to when you feel like shit about yourself to begin with) He told me that maybe she had some sort of traumatic experience in the past, maybe she's insecure about her sexuality, etc. I can tell you one thing, it sure is frustrating. Does anyone else have to deal with always trying to initiate things? I just wish she would jump on me once in a while!! I know exactly how you feel. My girlfriend and I are pretty sexually active, but I always feel like I am the one who is initiating it. She thinks that we have alot of sex, but I think we don't have enough. I guess I am just a horny bastard But always being the initiator makes me sometimes feel like a "molestor" for lack of a better word. It also makes me very self conscious and unwanted. I find myself intentionally not initiating sex when I would really want to and hoping that she would jump on me and when that doesnt happen, I feel even worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LogiKandReasoN Posted October 30 Report Share Posted October 30 I usually have difficulty initiating contact as well, its just the way I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted October 30 Report Share Posted October 30 girls are only good in slowing things down Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danamdkny Posted October 30 Report Share Posted October 30 Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn Do you find that you are always the person initiating sex? I don't know what it is, but I always find myself trying to initiate things with my girlfriend. She's a 25 year old virgin who was brought up to believe that sex before marriage is wrong, but we do everything else. Sometimes it's hard to get her to do things, but once I'm down south munching away, she loves it! My therapist told me not to jump to conclusions and think that maybe she's not attracted to me (It's hard not to when you feel like shit about yourself to begin with) He told me that maybe she had some sort of traumatic experience in the past, maybe she's insecure about her sexuality, etc. I can tell you one thing, it sure is frustrating. Does anyone else have to deal with always trying to initiate things? I just wish she would jump on me once in a while!! well normally I would agree with your therapist= a tramatic experience (sex crime victim) can cause a female to be fucked up relationship wise ( for lack of a better word) -- but in your case it sounds like shes a sheltered prude- ( I am not bashing your chica )but you guys seem to have a normal dating relationship where you still see each other and not freak out after the "act" so maybe you should re evqaluate her maturity or discuss it DIRECTLYIF YOU NEED ACTION Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ou812 Posted October 30 Report Share Posted October 30 Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn She was afraid of getting pregnant one day when I got cum on her leg. :laugh: :laugh: are you serious?..............shit maybe you weren't joking, that's a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted October 30 Report Share Posted October 30 Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn 2nd - She is a virgin. She doesn't even really know how sex works (talk about being sheltered). She was afraid of getting pregnant one day when I got cum on her leg. Ok, this girl needs some serious sex ed... seriously... I don't know where you can start with this one, maybe there's some kind of sex therapist you two can see together, but having so little knowledge about your own body is neither healthy or normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aboyfrombklyn Posted October 30 Author Report Share Posted October 30 Originally posted by timetraveler69 I know exactly how you feel. My girlfriend and I are pretty sexually active, but I always feel like I am the one who is initiating it. She thinks that we have alot of sex, but I think we don't have enough. I guess I am just a horny bastard But always being the initiator makes me sometimes feel like a "molestor" for lack of a better word. It also makes me very self conscious and unwanted. I find myself intentionally not initiating sex when I would really want to and hoping that she would jump on me and when that doesnt happen, I feel even worse. That's exactly how I feel. I feel like I'm doing something wrong whenever I try initiating something with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aboyfrombklyn Posted October 30 Author Report Share Posted October 30 Originally posted by tastyt Ok, this girl needs some serious sex ed... seriously... I don't know where you can start with this one, maybe there's some kind of sex therapist you two can see together, but having so little knowledge about your own body is neither healthy or normal. I totally agree with what you're saying. I had to sit there one day and explain how things work. One day we were both laying in bed naked and I got some of my man juice on her leg right by her area and she freaked. I explained that it takes a lot more for something to happen. It's frustrating, but she's a sweetheart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted October 30 Report Share Posted October 30 Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn I totally agree with what you're saying. I had to sit there one day and explain how things work. One day we were both laying in bed naked and I got some of my man juice on her leg right by her area and she freaked. I explained that it takes a lot more for something to happen. It's frustrating, but she's a sweetheart. It's not a big deal....Just because she's a virgin doesn't mean shes clueless about sex..If anything, she's probably overly PARANOID about sex due to the fact she has a fear of getting pregnant There are plenty of girls who are absolutely petrified of cum b/c they think if it goes anywhere near their hole they can somehow get pregnant...Just try talking to her about it...this fear is there for a reason & if guys are serious sex is going to become a conflicting issue in your relationship reallll soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted October 30 Report Share Posted October 30 Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn Do you find that you are always the person initiating sex? I don't know what it is, but I always find myself trying to initiate things with my girlfriend. She's a 25 year old virgin who was brought up to believe that sex before marriage is wrong, but we do everything else. Sometimes it's hard to get her to do things, but once I'm down south munching away, she loves it! My therapist told me not to jump to conclusions and think that maybe she's not attracted to me (It's hard not to when you feel like shit about yourself to begin with) He told me that maybe she had some sort of traumatic experience in the past, maybe she's insecure about her sexuality, etc. I can tell you one thing, it sure is frustrating. Does anyone else have to deal with always trying to initiate things? I just wish she would jump on me once in a while!! It is equal for the most part. You usually tell when the other person wants something to happen. There is a different vibe you when you are just laying on the couch watching tv then when you are laying on the couch with the tv on...... When the mood strikes out of the blue, go for it, you never know....As far your therapist, I agree a traumatic experience of any kind is going to cause some kind of fear in a person. Someone who is as sheltered as you say she is, probably thinks all the things ahe is doing with you are wrong. Even though once you get going she loves it, she probably feels guilty.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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