Jump to content
Clubplanet Nightlife Community

this is pretty funny


Recommended Posts

Got this in email today...thought it was funny :)

10 INDISPUTABLE TRUTHS BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Elvis is dead.

>

>2. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

>

>3. Jesus was not White.

>

>4. Skinny does not equal sexy.

>

>5. A 5 year child is too big for a stroller.

>

>6. N' SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5

>

>7. Thomas Jefferson had black children.

>

>8. An occasional ass whooping helps a child stay in line .

>

>9. Kissing your pet is not cute.

>

>10. Rap music is here to stay.

>

10 INDISPUTABLE TRUTHS WHITE PEOPLE KNOW, BUT BLACK PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

>1. Tupac is dead.

>

>2. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.

>

>3. Having a ring on every finger is too much.

>

>4. O.J. did it

>

>5. Teeth should not be decorated.

>

>6. Breaks are usually only 15 minutes.

>

>7. Jesse Jackson will never be President.

>

>8. RED is not a kool-aid flavor (it's a color).

>

>9. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.

>

>10. Your pastor doesn't know everything

>

10 THINGS WHITE AND BLACK PEOPLE KNOW BUT SPANISH PEOPLE DON'T ADMIT:

1. Chicken is food, not a roommate

>

>2. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies .

>

>3. Your country's flag is not a car decoration

>

>4. Hickey's are unattractive.

>

>5. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in our

>family

>

>6. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion

>statement

>

>7. 10 people to a car or home is considered too many.

>

>8. Jesus is not a name for your son

>

>9. Maria is a name but not for every other daughter

>

>10. Letting your children run wildly through the store can get your ass

whooped (or theirs).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by sexxybabyd

10 THINGS WHITE AND BLACK PEOPLE KNOW BUT SPANISH PEOPLE DON'T ADMIT:

Oooh look what i found.

THINGS LEVELHEADED PEOPLE KNOW BUT JUDGEMENTAL KNOW-IT-ALLS WILL FIND OUT EVENTUALLY:

1. Some people think they're cool when they shit on somebody else's tastes but in reality they're highlighting their own personal inadequacy and inability to fit in anywhere.

>

>2. Making fun of other nationalities might make you laugh for five seconds but it just hides the fact that you're a miserable shit and nobody likes you.

>

>3. Anybody's country flag can be a car decoration, headwear or a windowshade. Say anything about it and expect your ass to get hit with a dozen razorblades and dumped to the bottom of the nearest body of semi-putrid water.

>

>4. Arrogant people aren't as good in bed as their ceiling-installed mirrors tell them they are.

>

>5. Girls who spend more than a few minutes putting on "their face" will eventually grow up to look like the nasty hag from Something About Mary.

>

>6. Wearing tight tight pants isn't a fashion statement. It's a declaration that you are related to the packaged ground beef found in the flabby-white-ass section of your local supermarket.

>

>7. 10 people to a car or home is considered too many, unless you have some sort of Goya product or banner displayed clearly in the house, in which case 10+ people are necessary.

>

>8. Jesus is not a name for your son. He is the name of your Mechanic, and also your future rapist if you don't shut the fuck up about him and his prison experience.

>

>9. Maria is the name of Jesus' mother. You should leave it at that or Jesus won't be happy.

>

>10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is necessary if you're going to distract the storekeepers long enough for Jesus to make his coke deal with you without getting caught.

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by cintron

Oooh look what i found.

THINGS LEVELHEADED PEOPLE KNOW BUT JUDGEMENTAL KNOW-IT-ALLS WILL FIND OUT EVENTUALLY:

1. Some people think they're cool when they shit on somebody else's tastes but in reality they're highlighting their own personal inadequacy and inability to fit in anywhere.

>

>2. Making fun of other nationalities might make you laugh for five seconds but it just hides the fact that you're a miserable shit and nobody likes you.

>

>3. Anybody's country flag can be a car decoration, headwear or a windowshade. Say anything about it and expect your ass to get hit with a dozen razorblades and dumped to the bottom of the nearest body of semi-putrid water.

>

>4. Arrogant people aren't as good in bed as their ceiling-installed mirrors tell them they are.

>

>5. Girls who spend more than a few minutes putting on "their face" will eventually grow up to look like the nasty hag from Something About Mary.

>

>6. Wearing tight tight pants isn't a fashion statement. It's a declaration that you are related to the packaged ground beef found in the flabby-white-ass section of your local supermarket.

>

>7. 10 people to a car or home is considered too many, unless you have some sort of Goya product or banner displayed clearly in the house, in which case 10+ people are necessary.

>

>8. Jesus is not a name for your son. He is the name of your Mechanic, and also your future rapist if you don't shut the fuck up about him and his prison experience.

>

>9. Maria is the name of Jesus' mother. You should leave it at that or Jesus won't be happy.

>

>10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is necessary if you're going to distract the storekeepers long enough for Jesus to make his coke deal with you without getting caught.

>

ahahhahahhahaaaaa

dissssssss

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...