voluptuary Posted February 4 Report Share Posted February 4 I've been reading some internet profiles of women who state what their "turn-ons" are.You hear a lot of women say that what turns them on in a man is "confidence, but not cockiness"But I suspect what this really means is "I need to be with someone who will be confident FOR ME, but will not do so in such a way that reminds me that I lack confidence"When I hear women say this, it tells me that they feel, at the core, "weak." Definitely a sign of weakness.I tend to think that what people most admire or find attractive in mates are those qualities that they themselves don't possess.What does everyone think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanna11 Posted February 4 Report Share Posted February 4 I don't think it has to do with whether that person possesses the desired characteristicsI do think that a person who desires a person very unlike him-/herself has very little self esteem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petp Posted February 4 Report Share Posted February 4 u could have a point, but i think it really depends on the person. sure some people might want someone to compensate for areas that they are lacking in, but i know me personally, i want someone with a confidence cause i cant stand to be around weak willed people, i tend to have little respect for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
voluptuary Posted February 4 Author Report Share Posted February 4 But what do you think of women who say specifically that they like "confidence but NOT cockiness"Why is cockiness unappealing? It seems to me that someone who is truky confident wouldn't find cockiness distasteful. When people say they have a dislike for something, it usually means they feel threatened by it in some small way. Maybe it's like this: People can be beautiful, but they can't TELL people they are beautiful. Most think that's obnoxious. But why is it distasteful if the person is, in fact, beautiful? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted February 4 Report Share Posted February 4 A GOOD example of the 2 is playing basketball.One guy is real good, and he knows he's good, and proves it on the court. But he doesn't find the need to "trash talk" or "challenge his opponents verbally" That's confidence. (Example - tim duncan)Another guy is good, but he finds the need to challenge opponents, talk trash and "put them in their place" That's cockiness (ex.: Antoine WAlker)It happened this weekend when i went to play ball. I don't normally talk trash, but this guy i was guarding was talking the whole game, sayin shit like "hey, pass me tha rock, i got a mismatch here"However, i played better than him So i feel that confidence always wins out. Cockiness seems immature and for those who need to be re-assured all the time .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted February 4 Report Share Posted February 4 There's a difference between cockiness & confidence...IMO..Poeple who CONSTANTLY REMIND you of how woderful they are don;t exactly have high self esteem...They MAKE IT KNOWN how good they are at everything not b/c they think it about themselves but it gives them some sort of satisfaction if they portray themselves as "the shit" having other people think highly of them (when in fact they look like idiots)When someone is confident, they humble themelves...know their abilities & good qualities but don;'t brag about it...Their actions speak louder than words Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted February 4 Report Share Posted February 4 confidence is a lot sexier than cockiness. the difference u ask? IMO- confidence means that one is secure with themselves... emotionally... physically... mentally... that shows signs of a strong person in all of these aspects. cockiness is more of an "im god" attitude... "im better than everyone... " "look at my muscles... cant u see that im the hottest thing alive??" that kind of attitude shows more signs of INsecurity when one feels the need to BRAG about themselves.. or make others feel inadequate or in competition... its not attractive. thats the difference. so when u hear someone say i want a guy whos confident not cocky.. it has nothing to do with her being weak.. it has to do with the guys attitude and how he portrays himself. a girl who wants a confident guy is usually pretty confident herself and needs someone on the same level. make sense?LOL sweetie.. i was posting this as u were posting urs.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted February 4 Report Share Posted February 4 Originally posted by linabina LOL sweetie.. i was posting this as u were posting urs.. Ehhh....oh well Yours sounds better anyway lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted February 4 Report Share Posted February 4 Originally posted by linabina confidence is a lot sexier than cockiness. the difference u ask? IMO- confidence means that one is secure with themselves... emotionally... physically... mentally... that shows signs of a strong person in all of these aspects. cockiness is more of an "im god" attitude... "im better than everyone... " "look at my muscles... cant u see that im the hottest thing alive??" that kind of attitude shows more signs of INsecurity when one feels the need to BRAG about themselves.. or make others feel inadequate or in competition... its not attractive. thats the difference. so when u hear someone say i want a guy whos confident not cocky.. it has nothing to do with her being weak.. it has to do with the guys attitude and how he portrays himself. a girl who wants a confident guy is usually pretty confident herself and needs someone on the same level. make sense?LOL sweetie.. i was posting this as u were posting urs.. exactly. i like confidence, a guy who knows what he wants, knows hes good at what he does, knows hes goodlooking, is confident about where hes going in life but not cockiness where he says he is the best at everything... cocky people tend to push people down to make themselves feel better, confident people want other people to excel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psychosweetie Posted February 5 Report Share Posted February 5 Originally posted by somebitch exactly. i like confidence, a guy who knows what he wants, knows hes good at what he does, knows hes goodlooking, is confident about where hes going in life but not cockiness where he says he is the best at everything... cocky people tend to push people down to make themselves feel better, confident people want other people to excel. I agree 100% w/ what you said. Thats right on:aright: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintron Posted February 5 Report Share Posted February 5 i can be cocky at times, but always confident.the thing i've noticed about people who don't like cockyness isn't that it annoys them or makes them mad.It's that deep down, they're afraid that I might be right.If i talk shit and lose, that reflects badly upon me.If i talk shit and win, that's a double whammy for whomever i'm around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted February 5 Report Share Posted February 5 Originally posted by somebitch cocky people tend to push people down to make themselves feel better, confident people want other people to excel. That's a good way to put it. Basically, when I think of someone who's cocky, I think of an asshole who needs to get over him/herself. Chances are damn good that cocky people have nothing more than an over-inflated sense of self-worth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 well, lightheartedly playful cocky does the trick pretty wellaka "girls ONLY want me for my incredibly hot body ... ... " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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