georgym Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 Im very mixed on this issue.On the one hand, i feel it's good to get it out, and let the other person know what has transpired in your life. I mean serious things, like getting pregnant, making mistakes, etc...But on the other, only things that matter with this relationship seem to count. Like, if it doesn't relate, it's not necessary. But then, what is relevant, and what isn't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phatman Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 ...you got me...i'm just about the moment...if you feel like sharing, then it's in you to share......on my last adventure, my date pointed out there were things i may have wanted to reconsider in sharing with her or a future date...when i dove deeper into what i was sharing she was like, "oh...well you need to say it like that then...."..proving that at any age, people tend to judge content very quickly and not necessarily research the source or reasoning.....so i dont know homie....i'd like to think in my usual romantic manner that it does NOT matter what you share...the right mate will take it all in stride...they will judge you on the time you spend together...on the things you share together...but realistically speaking, women DO care and it DOES matter...I'm just not ready to regress into playing that game again..ideally you should be able to be yourself and share whatever you feel like sharing...perhaps that is why i still find myself alone...signedstubborn romantic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted February 8 Author Report Share Posted February 8 Ok man, i hear you. I don't think things of the past matter so much as they do in the moment either.But things like having an abortion, and the unability to have children, or if the guy had a criminal record, those kind of things i feel matter.Oh yeah, and games SUCK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phatman Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 ...big things like that do need to be shared...but timing is critical...kind of obvious i guess...again, i go back to moment and mood...sometimes that shit just comes out at its appropriate time....for me personally, i seem to have a knack for having people open up to me about some of their deepest secrets and/or experiences....from rape to abuse to crime...i have heard it all..bottom line is if you're comfortable, why not?...there's a reason for that comfort and it should be that you think your partner will take it in the appropriate light..if they dont, then you were misled and learned something that you may not have known up until that point...either way, it should be shared... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 i think it is important sometimes. what do you have without memories, they make you who you are... i also think sometimes things build up into something they wouldnt have if you dont talk about them. on the other hand, if you have talked about something, dont continuously bring it up, that is annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredgirl Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 well i personally wouldn't say anything i think PAST IS PAST let me tell u what happened to me i share several things from my past with a guy who was my best friend , i told him things that i did in my sex life , stories about abuse etc.... after a wile my best friend became my boyfriend all the things that told him start to bother him , he start doubting about me he thought i would cheat on him etc... he was so unsure about me ...anyway we fix that part after a wile ,we talk etc...but what i mean is i don't think u should say EVERYTHING to ur partner , there is things that u can keep them with ur self because at the end everybody has the right to have their space , their privacy etc... i know a lot of people will say "but if he/she is the love of ur life" that doesn't have to do anything with , what u want to share or ur privacy or ur past , u are not hiding something u just decide not to let it out because maybe u are not ready or maybe u just don't want ....being with someone doesn't mean to lose ur privacy etc.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 it depends on what you are comfortable with. some things are just better left unsaid, and for your own knowledge only. just because you're with someone doesn't mean you have to spill your guts out right then and there when you have established something, and..i dunno, i'd like to think that things like this will come out sooner or later,and if that person loved you, they'll deal with it...but of course that depends on the nature of your past. if you did shitty things like kill someone or abort a child, or something....then perhaps those things should come out slowly...as long as the other party knows it will never happen while you are with them. as far as embaressing things go...if you're too ashamed to say something, then perhaps you should not force yourself to say anything until you feel comfortable enough doing so... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psychosweetie Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 You can talk about the past to an extent, but every detail is unnecessary. Leave out whats unimportant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soulfull Posted February 9 Report Share Posted February 9 It's like others before me said: It's our history that shapes us.And I don't see anything wrong bringing that up....... aslong as the other person is interested or asked for it... You can feel guitly about certain things. Other topics need to be discussed. But why think about it? Life is one lesson.... there's nothing wrong bout honesty....just interact with people if you feel like you need that.. it's all about feelings....aslong as you try to look at it the positive way there's nothing to be afraid of....... even emotional setbacks can turn out to be positive at the end... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted February 9 Report Share Posted February 9 "Let the sleping dogs lie"And if you decide to go against this time tested fact....do it at your own peril, shit will come to haunt you down the road. Treat past relationship activities like tax returns....file and forget them.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sloppy Posted February 9 Report Share Posted February 9 saw a commercial for some show, w/ some "expert", saying no. Im unsure myself. I guess really shouldnt matter. Its probably knowing that over induldging your curiosity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nympho69 Posted February 9 Report Share Posted February 9 man fuck thattalk about whatever u likethats what i do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 If someone didn't tell me anything about his past, it's pretty clear that he has something to hide. How can you have lived for X number of years, and yet have nothing to tell me about who you were before we met? How can you know someone without knowing about their past? Common sense and discretion as always are key, I don't wanna hear about how you used to fuck your ex. But if she sucked in bed, you can feel free to share that, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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