tinybutterfli Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Saw this on the Buzz Board and according to this, I must see a lot of people naked because I forget what my crushes look like! *lol* But its totally true about being in love w/ a million people at once I'm a pisces!Oh and sorry Taurus!Your Valentine's Day Lover's horoscopes:*disclaimer: The author of these, my buddy Alicia, got this information from Kuiper belt, not O'rion's belt, where all the other astrologers got their information. So please, don't take this literally.Oh yeah, she forgot Taurus...already noted.Pisces - (Feb 18 - Mar 19): Your lost in love, Pisces. You dream about love, you think about love, you even eat, breathe and sleep in love. You even consider buying a heart comforter and a heart sofa. You love to be in love and you'll continue being in love. You are so talented in the love field, that you can actually love 5 at once. This will be a great Valentines day for you. It will be filled with lots of love. What to get your Pisces for Valentines day: a naked calendar of yourself so he or she can remember what you look like.Aries (Mar 20 - Apr 19): You're stubborn but your saving grace is that you're hot. However, because of your cranky attitude you won't have a Valentine. Buy a dog. You'll need one because with that "genio", the dog will be the only one licking you. What to get your Aries for Valentines: St. John's Ward and a bottle of Jim Bean. He or she is probably an alcoholic.Gemini (May 20 - June 20): You have multi personalities. Sometimes you're fun and sometimes you can be a high maintenance anal space probe. However, you should have no problem catching a Valentine. You'll score that night because your date will need to get really hammered to deal with you and then you can take advantage of him or her. What to give your Gemini for Valentines: Xanax. You'll relax him or her.Cancer (June 21 - July 21): You pretend like you can't stand Valentine's day or lovey dovey things but deep down you absolutely love them. Come out of the love closet. You're busting the hinges and you're severly in denial. You've been uptight about things lately because you're scared you won't score a hole in one this weekend. Relax. If you want it, it shall come. Hang out in the "downtown" scene or near local rave clubs this weekend - you'll be sure to score. What to give your Cancer for Valentines: a $50 gift certificate to Pleasure Palace.Leo (July 22 - Aug 22): You're hot tempered and used to getting your way so you're going to have to flex a little this weekend and give others an opportunity to have what they want. Thats not fair, you know. Its like, you really don't love me some times and you make me feel, well, sad. Shit, sorry, where was I? Oh yes, Leo. Give your girlfriend a diamond necklace and she'll love you forever. You're both money hungry ho's so you know how that works. What to give your Leo for Valentines: anything over $500.Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 21): You're really hot but you're a player. You need to change your evil ways. If you got paid for breaking hearts you'd make billions. You're also probably thinking after you just read that, "why make billions when I can make....millions". Anyway, You'll have an ocean of fish to choose from so make your decision wisely. Knowning how wishy washy you are though, you'll choose none and hang with your friends! What to give your Virgo for Valentines: A lot of lovin'.Libra (Sept 22 - Oct 22): You're the coolest of all the signs. Your Zoolander ways make you a favorite of many. You'll probably have 15 dates for Valentine's Day. Go on all of them. You're so indecisive though, you'll spend all night trying to decide which to go on, and you'll end up wasting the entire night, having gone on none. See a shrink and get this indecisiveness fixed. What to give your Libra for Valentines: a plane ticket to come visit you. Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21): You're the life of the party and you have mad dancin' skillz. This weekend you'll be high rollin, g money, scoring the cheese workin' mad benjamins. Friday is the day for you. You and your Valentine will party until the break of dawn so be ready for a night of good times. It will be fun. It will be funny. It will be fun and funny. What to get your Scorpio for Valentines: a music cd.Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21): You're detail oriented and a little anal. This can be annoying and if you keep this up your date will probably dump you by Friday. So, log on match.com. Be a little kinder and you can salvage your relationship. If not, invest in your fingers and your palm. What to get your Sagittarius for Valentines: a box of chocolates. Ahprodisiac!Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19): You're great fun to hang out and you know it. You're actually your biggest fan. You're so in love with yourself that your actually going on a date with yourself on Friday. You literally made reservations at a restaurant for one and you will dine with a mirror across from you. You'll get yourself really drunk and you'll have a wild night of hot passionate sex with yourself. What to get your Capricorn for Valentines: a stripper.Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 17: Your fun and fun and fun and great fun. You're also great looking and you move in your mysterious ways. You should have no problem tapping that ass or getting that ass tapped this Friday. Take shots of water this Friday and pretend like you're wasted so everyone tries to take you home. That way you'll score AND remember how great your night was, for once. What to get your Aquarius this Valentines: some Ginkus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kramadas Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Originally posted by tinybutterfli .Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 21): You're really hot but you're a player. You need to change your evil ways. If you got paid for breaking hearts you'd make billions. You're also probably thinking after you just read that, "why make billions when I can make....millions". Anyway, You'll have an ocean of fish to choose from so make your decision wisely. Knowning how wishy washy you are though, you'll choose none and hang with your friends! What to give your Virgo for Valentines: A lot of lovin'. Dayyymmmm! Billions??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockyblue Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 boo. no lovin' for the tauri:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookiegirl Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Originally posted by raver_mania Dayyymmmm! Billions??? Milllliiiiions! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merkie Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Libra (Sept 22 - Oct 22): You're the coolest of all the signs. Your Zoolander ways make you a favorite of many. You'll probably have 15 dates for Valentine's Day. Go on all of them. You're so indecisive though, you'll spend all night trying to decide which to go on, and you'll end up wasting the entire night, having gone on none. See a shrink and get this indecisiveness fixed. What to give your Libra for Valentines: a plane ticket to come visit you. :laugh: I am the most indecisive person ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgiddy Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Originally posted by tinybutterfli Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19): You're great fun to hang out and you know it. You're actually your biggest fan. You're so in love with yourself that your actually going on a date with yourself on Friday. You literally made reservations at a restaurant for one and you will dine with a mirror across from you. You'll get yourself really drunk and you'll have a wild night of hot passionate sex with yourself. What to get your Capricorn for Valentines: a stripper. bwhahaha this is soo true....I wish I could go to dinner by myself, probably would be a good time, plus a stripper afterwards, sounds like a perfect night to me!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kramadas Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Originally posted by cookiegirl Milllliiiiions! lol...but I think I really like my "suggested" Valentine's gift! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicman Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 virgo's rawk the rest, can kiss my Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaguero Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Originally posted by tinybutterfli Cancer (June 21 - July 21): You pretend like you can't stand Valentine's day or lovey dovey things but deep down you absolutely love them. Come out of the love closet. You're busting the hinges and you're severly in denial. You've been uptight about things lately because you're scared you won't score a hole in one this weekend. Relax. If you want it, it shall come. Hang out in the "downtown" scene or near local rave clubs this weekend - you'll be sure to score. What to give your Cancer for Valentines: a $50 gift certificate to Pleasure Palace. I'm not in denial!!!!!! ooh...wait Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadygroovedc Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Originally posted by tinybutterfli Libra (Sept 22 - Oct 22): You're the coolest of all the signs. Your Zoolander ways make you a favorite of many. You'll probably have 15 dates for Valentine's Day. Go on all of them. You're so indecisive though, you'll spend all night trying to decide which to go on, and you'll end up wasting the entire night, having gone on none. See a shrink and get this indecisiveness fixed. What to give your Libra for Valentines: a plane ticket to come visit you. I am the coolest. And it's right. Just like Zoolander, I can't go left. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.