LavenderMenace Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive but would run on only five percent of the roads. 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying. 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 . . :laugh: priceless! . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acura Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. LOOOOOOOOOL :laugh: Whoever thought these up has a cool ass job Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeg Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 :laugh: i don't think gm actually wrote this, i've seen it before... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brooklynkid Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Originally posted by LavenderMenace 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. Is that not what the mysterious "check engine" light is? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotcheme Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Originally posted by brooklynkid Is that not what the mysterious "check engine" light is? you mean the light that comes on if your gas cap isn't screwed on tight? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brooklynkid Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Originally posted by hotcheme you mean the light that comes on if your gas cap isn't screwed on tight? yes...it's a stupid stupid light:mad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copahc Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 That was great. Especially this one>>Originally posted by LavenderMenace 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtyepic18 Posted February 15 Report Share Posted February 15 Thats been around on the internet forever, but it is pretty damn funny.And that ladies and gentleman, is why i dont use windows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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