fearlesss Posted April 19 Report Share Posted April 19 Ok, here's the thing I moved back home (the town, not with the parents) about a yr ago and of course anyone I was friends with had A. moved away or B. I lost touch with and things in common with, so I really did not hang out with them. All my friends that I really connected with are either cross country or over seas. As we all may or may not know, the older we get the harder it is to make friends because we no longer have that force that makes us friends (ie sports and school). I have friends from work but thats just it they are from work and you cannot get really sloppy (or what not) in front of them.So I guess what I am asking is how does one make new friends in a totally new enironment ( ie after moving cross country to a spot where there are not real connections besides work)? I know someone must have done it or have some suggestions. ( Bars just do not seem to be a good place). I guesss i have a fear of being unknown and the guy at the end of the bar that no one knows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted April 19 Report Share Posted April 19 good and important question!i've had 2 homecomings, in a way. i was born and raised in nyc, moved to l.a. for college for 4 years, moved back to nyc for 2 years, then moved back here to l.a. for 2 years now. when i first moved back to nyc, as you said, i didn't have much in common with the friends who were still there and the others had moved. i started going out dancing by myself after a while of not going 'cause i didn't have anyone with whom to go out, and i started running into the same people. and i did make a real friend at work - there's no rule that says you can't be friends and let loose with co-workers. sometimes it just takes time.but after my first clubplanet meetup, i made two good friends with whom i went out a lot (some of us here really do rock ). unfortunately, i moved just as i was getting close with them (really unfair - terrible timing. but i see them every time i come home to visit). at that first nyc meetup, i also met 2 guys from cali who were just visiting. when i moved back out to l.a., i gave them a call, and it turned out that they were going to a party to which i was going. we started going out a lot after that, and now we're friends . there are also people on the l.a. board i've met that are really cool, and i meet people when i'm out all the time. and there are a few friends from college i still see.it may sound cheesy, but there's a reason why we're all here, posting in the same place: we have a lot in common.sorry for such a long post; i hope you find it useful ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted April 19 Report Share Posted April 19 Originally posted by fearlesss Ok, here's the thing I moved back home (the town, not with the parents) about a yr ago and of course anyone I was friends with had A. moved away or B. I lost touch with and things in common with, so I really did not hang out with them. All my friends that I really connected with are either cross country or over seas. As we all may or may not know, the older we get the harder it is to make friends because we no longer have that force that makes us friends (ie sports and school). I have friends from work but thats just it they are from work and you cannot get really sloppy (or what not) in front of them.So I guess what I am asking is how does one make new friends in a totally new enironment ( ie after moving cross country to a spot where there are not real connections besides work)? I know someone must have done it or have some suggestions. ( Bars just do not seem to be a good place). I guesss i have a fear of being unknown and the guy at the end of the bar that no one knows. the way i made most of my friends is simply hanging out with ppl you see often... join a local gym, go to a local bar (get to know the bartender the bartender typically knows most of the ppl in the neighborhood so s/he could introduce you to many dif. ppl) join an afterwork event... i enjoy cooking so if i was in this predicament, i would enroll into a cooking course... theres many ways to make friends, however it all depends on your intrests, and courage... theres always clubplanet, hang out here for a lil bit and you will make friends with most of the bananas on here... just stay away from a guy named apples hell try to date you right after you say "hi"... lol... in all seriousness goodluck to you... btw where did you move to??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted April 19 Report Share Posted April 19 ABBA ZABBA YOU MY ONLY FRIEND~! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fineones Posted April 19 Report Share Posted April 19 Originally posted by dgmodel ABBA ZABBA YOU MY ONLY FRIEND~! :laugh: try things like pub crawls etc. some friends went on it the other day meet allot of cool ppl..drinkers and non...but all ppl in a situation like urs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eccentricmofo Posted April 19 Report Share Posted April 19 Well Ill tell you one thing, alot of good suggestions so far on this thread, try a few of them, or whatever suites you I suppose. One thing Im sure you know, and everyone finds out sooner or later, friends definately come and go so damn quickly sometimes, its not even funny. One thing, that sorta sounds a bit corny (no offense DG), but seriously is probably the best idea, is taking a class with something your interested in...non-credit course even at your local college would do. A wide variety of people, ages, etc,, now that I think about..two of the best freakin friends (female of course) Ive ever had I met at a class...hmmm..I think I may go back. THe point, DG made with making it something like cooking that you like also saves you the drama, I mean think about...someone asks you why you took the class...you dont tell them that you took it to find a piece of ass or a new bud..it may scare them...lol. Another place you could try, is you place of work, which I think weyes was talking about... You into poetry, go hang out at a few of those open mic spots, coffee shops etc... people like the mysteriousness of a loner cat walking in al confindant.. And lastly... Try doing the same things you'd do with a crew, meaning clubbling..hit the town bars..etc. Ill admit, at first when I gave that a try it felt weird..going out alone..then, I realized how much fun I had, cant beat it...its a blast.. As far as Weyes I think the CPer who apoligized for rambling...ha... dont sweat it..I think by now Im listed officially as a clubplanet rambler....ranting from this to that from thread to thread.... Til I rant again....ciao:blank: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted April 19 Report Share Posted April 19 Originally posted by eccentricmofo THe point, DG made with making it something like cooking that you like also saves you the drama, I mean think about...someone asks you why you took the class...you dont tell them that you took it to find a piece of ass or a new bud..it may scare them...lol. exactly... its something you enjoy doing, and a great place to meet ppl who share your intrests... even if, a relationship and or friendship does not come of it, its still something you would benefit from... another great place, are musuems... many ppl like to vocalize their thoughts on certain exhibits, and the like, and many of them are looking for ears to let them fall on... that might be another place to look... there are many places, if you would like if youre in the nyc area, if you want to meet up with some of my friends and myself, youre more than welcome to, or i think there might even be some sort of cp meet up next weekend... thats another way... who knows... good luck... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eccentricmofo Posted April 19 Report Share Posted April 19 Originally posted by dgmodel exactly... its something you enjoy doing, and a great place to meet ppl who share your intrests... even if, a relationship and or friendship does not come of it, its still something you would benefit from... another great place, are musuems... many ppl like to vocalize their thoughts on certain exhibits, and the like, and many of them are looking for ears to let them fall on... that might be another place to look... there are many places, if you would like if youre in the nyc area, if you want to meet up with some of my friends and myself, youre more than welcome to, or i think there might even be some sort of cp meet up next weekend... thats another way... who knows... good luck... Very good point with the museums... Sadly enough I have been living a mere 10 mins away from the city for a bit less of a year and yet have been able to visit a museum or freakin art gallery. Dammit I need to get more cultured and shit.... Also, as far as the CP meetup...when and where is this going to be held? Ive been busting the chops of fellow CPers for the past few months and would love such the opportunity to do such in person...lol.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fineones Posted April 19 Report Share Posted April 19 Friends-how many of us have them Friends-ones we can depend on Friends-how many of us have them Friends-before we go any further let's be friends When we first hooked up we barely knew each other I never thought you would be my lover Talking on the phone for hours at a time or I was at your house or you were at mine And then came all the fights and all the problems turned out that was all we had in common And even though we started out strong I guess we went about the whole thing wrong And I should've known it would come to an end 'cause we became lovers before we were friends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted April 19 Report Share Posted April 19 Originally posted by eccentricmofo Very good point with the museums... Sadly enough I have been living a mere 10 mins away from the city for a bit less of a year and yet have been able to visit a museum or freakin art gallery. Dammit I need to get more cultured and shit.... Also, as far as the CP meetup...when and where is this going to be held? Ive been busting the chops of fellow CPers for the past few months and would love such the opportunity to do such in person...lol.. i am not familiar with the details... b/c it's phatman's event, and its his baby, (hes the one putting it together... and typically zehra aka fiery desire comes and manhandles it for all of us since we are lazy and half assed) if i had to guess come mon. or tues there will be a thread with the details keep an eye out...ironically enough, this thread has become a place to meet friends... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fearlesss Posted April 23 Author Report Share Posted April 23 Thanks for the advice. After I posted it I felt a bit dumb but I am glad that I did becuase there was some really good advice in there. Anyways- I think someone asked where I from and to. I moved from Denver back to Chicago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mssabina Posted April 23 Report Share Posted April 23 Originally posted by dgmodel ABBA ZABBA YOU MY ONLY FRIEND~! LMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted April 23 Report Share Posted April 23 Originally posted by fearlesss Anyways- I think someone asked where I from and to. I moved from Denver back to Chicago. chi-town~!? hows things over there??? i visited there along time ago... (3yrs) anything new? anything worth going back for??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted April 23 Report Share Posted April 23 Originally posted by mssabina LMAO you wanna be my friend??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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