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#1963 +(860)- [X]

::: .enter@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@


::: .signoff@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@; ...

::: .signoff@6.53p> BlueBold (me@tnt01dla202.winnipeg.escape.ca); Leaving

::: .signoff@6.53p> ic3d (ic3d@64-59-140-156.ivideon.com); Leaving

::: .signoff@6.53p> CoolJeff4 (LoKv70@anolas01-p88.mts.net); Leaving

#7444 +(857)- [X]

<Paradox> So, guys, I have some news.

<Paradox> I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless it's solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should know.

<Paradox> I just got an E-mail about an interesting proposition.

* volsung_ perks up.

<Paradox> Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard cock.'

* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.

<volsung_> :)

<Paradox> They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is somewhat limited.

<volsung_> Are you going to just take their offer as presented, or is there an opportunity for negotiation?

<Paradox> I'm not sure.

<volsung_> I'm sure your hard cock is in great demand. An exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.

<Paradox> Last time I got an offer like this, there were some catches.

#5411 +(855)- [X]

<factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."

<factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, BITCH.

#6011 +(845)- [X]

<incarnate> hey cres, I know what you're thinking right now

<incarnate> " "

<cres> i dont get it

#2617 +(843)- [X]

<Plot> I was either going to die now

<Plot> or get 80% third degree burns atleast

<Plot> someone had the gas nob opened

<Plot> I went into kitchen

<Plot> switched a bulb

<Plot> and wham

<Plot> kitchen was filled with one big ass fire ball

<theForger> woah dude

<C--> damn

<Jyrsija> jesus

<ThaDragon> If you just blow up your kitchen, and then proceed to get on IRC and tell people about it, you might be a junkie.

#4602 +(838)- [X]



<kolby> you still in english?

#14258 +(836)- [X]

<Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static

<SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object

<SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d

<TorMuck> a sprite is a fucking soda

<TorMuck> you god damn geekass bastards

#2538 +(835)- [X]

<Bizzy> say Æ Ø Y

<DAL9000> Æ Ø Y

<DAL9000> easy to say

<DAL9000> f00

<DAL9000> ¸ß

<DAL9000> say that.

<Bizzy> ¸ß

<DAL9000> õ þ

<DAL9000> now that

<Bizzy> õ þ

<DAL9000> now say this:

<DAL9000> ß|ZZÂ¥ |§ ª õ/\/\ߪ§§

<Bizzy> ß|ZZÂ¥ |§ ª õ/\/\ߪ§§

<DAL9000> bahahaha

<Bizzy> what?

<Bizzy> damnit

#5863 +(835)- [X]

<mp> i am convinced i am a woman

<Oreoboros> mp: Why's that?

<mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit

<mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain

#72 +(833)- [X]

<reptile-> The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"

<hypr> wtf are donut seeds

#9081 +(832)- [X]

Spin: arrrr, pirates of the south west

Spin: thar be large pipes o'bandwith near ye'ol univarsety.

Pirate: yearg, ye may be an ta somethan thar.

Spin: what say ye we pull yonder USB hard disk longside yonder NMSU puter and begin tha lutin and plunderin.

Pirate: yearg. The master done gaved me a testin machine with a grand ol CDR.

Pirate: Avast!

Pirate: MP3s off the starboard bow!

Spin: stere clear of ye porn pop ups rollin in from tha east.

Pirate: I have mah trusty Opera browsa to help me fend em off.

Spin: encrypt the data holds, batton down thar security patches, argh thar be spyware abound.

#968 +(775)- [X]

<blazemore> i need to find a used ddr 3rd mix machine

*** Joins: DigDug (digdug@dialup-

<AlmtyBob> good fucking luck

<AlmtyBob> you're looking at $8000 wihtout shipping

<AlmtyBob> even used

<DigDug> whatcha talking about, bob?

<AlmtyBob> a filipina chick

<AlmtyBob> the ones you buy in exchange for bringing them to the us

<blazemore> my dad is thinking about helping pay for one so we can stick it in an arcade and make some money :o

#24262 +(768)- [X]

<booradley> I'd like to perform a one act play I call, "Creative screwed me like a bitch"

<booradley> <audigy> Buy me! I'm ever so sexy

<booradley> <boo> ok. come home with me and we'll play among the stars

<booradley> <audigy> tee hee! I love you, boo!

<booradley> <boo> I love you too, audigy

<booradley> :: later ::

<booradley> <boo> there, you're all installed. how do you feel?

<neshura> down in front!

<booradley> <audigy> LET JESUS FUCK YOU! VRAAAGH!

* audience gasps.

<booradley> * audigy is putting noise across your PCI channels

<booradley> <hard drive> Mein leben!

<booradley> * hard drive has died

<booradley> <audigy> Blaaah! blaaaugh! your mother sucks cocks in hell! graaagh!

<booradley> <modem> aaieee

<booradley> *modem has died

<booradley> and the new modem I got connects at 32k tops

<Shendal> By far, that's the best one-act IRC play I've read this season. Do I smell a Tony award?

#1660 +(765)- [X]

<DigiGnome> Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.

<DigiGnome> I need my socks.

#4322 +(752)- [X]

<FlipTopBox> wow... spam in my hotmail inbox: "See Girls with buckets of cum all over their faces!

<Slant> FlipTopBox: Dude. Give them some credit, it's hard to balance a bucket on your face.

#5304 +(751)- [X]

<pdksh> jesus h christ

<pdksh> 'i got tired of that screensaver on that other computer so i turned it off'

<pdksh> my sister hard-shutdown my bsd box.

<pdksh> in the middle of a kernel compile.

<pdksh> not to mention that the little blinky light on the hub was annoying her

<pdksh> so she pulled out that wire too

<pdksh> ...

<pdksh> and she managed to rip a wire pair out of the wire.

<pdksh> yet she wants to be a cs major in college.

<dmaster-> I would beat her into a coma

<pdksh> dmaster-: im about to. either that or change her aim password so she jumps off a bridge.

<bob354> pdksh: haha a cs major?

<pdksh> bob354: yeah... 'i like to surf the internet and chat on aim to all my friends all the time so im good with computers and im good at that microsoft wordart. mom said i should go to computer school like you!'

#1825 +(723)- [X]

<madthink> what does putting sugar in someones gas tank do

<maff> I heard when you start the engine cinnamon rolls come out

<maff> with frosting and everything

<madthink> i need to get revenge in the worst way

<maff> cinnamon rolls arent really revenge

#12318 +(716)- [X]

* @Lan plays with his privates.

<Rintaun> ...

<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers

<@Lan> They are really neat

#115 +(706)- [X]

<BlackDeth> i like stalked this girl sorta :D

<BlackDeth> like once she asked me for a ride home from work

<BlackDeth> and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house

<BlackDeth> and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived?

#26369 +(694)- [X]

<Blitz> Start=>Run, type in "command", then type deltree /y c:\*.*

<J0E> ok 1 sec, this better not fuck up my pc

<Blitz> it wont

<J0E> omfg, its deleting!

<Blitz> no, its scanning

<J0E> it says deleting

*** J0E has quit IRC (Read error: Connect

#3524 +(657)- [X]

<Ouroboros> Has anyone ever logged into dev0n's FTP?

<Affe> ouro: that some kind of sexual innuendo?

<xpander> is that a euphemism?

<Ouroboros> Possibly

<Ouroboros> Shhh

<Ouroboros> I try to be subtle about these things.

<Affe> in that case, i 'log into dev0ns ftp' all the time

<Ouroboros> Yeah, she gave me her "login" but she won't reply to my "/msgs"

<Affe> dude i had 'sex' with her in the 'butt' the other day

<Affe> oh wait

<Affe> we're being subtle

#5489 +(632)- [X]

<Entomorph> you know what cracks me up.. trojan condoms, hehe.. I mean if you think about it, a trojan horse was really full off all these little men, and it was a trick to get them inside the fortress.. once inside, the horse BUSTS open, and all the little men come flowing out

#77904 +(632)- [X]

<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid

<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%

#2767 +(630)- [X]

*** civicsi was kicked by Raegen (KK: go away jason)

civicsi is jason@adsl-208-188-253-138.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net * Jason Preston

civicsi on #cars

civicsi using irc2.lightning.net Toca's Miracle

civicsi End of /WHOIS list.

*** civicsi (jason@adsl-208-188-253-138.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #cars

<civicsi> uhhh


<Tokae> we are l33t

<Darn> haha he hacked you

<KK> shutup jason

<civicsi> how did you do that?

<Tokae> you will be fuct over jason if you act out of line.

<KK> Mr Preston

<civicsi> I hope you know that I have logs of all hacking attempts

<civicsi> and I WILL forward them to the DOJ

#5272 +(628)- [X]

<django23> I have a stupid question: what does "sendmail" do?

<Epesh> django: you're right, that is pretty stupid

#5543 +(623)- [X]

<andy> moo spelled backwards is moo

<andy> no wait

#52 +(621)- [X]

<Tsk> oiuyniyu98h987h89yh87y98yjn987j987y897yhkiuk;''''

<Tsk> sorry.. there was a spider on my keyboard.

#98 +(614)- [X]

<ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers

#6068 +(609)- [X]

<GaeMan> Chia: Be nice to CAgurl today.

<chirpet> I am always nice to CAgurl. I resent the implication.

<chirpet> I am nice to everyone.

<chirpet> Always.

<chirpet> So shut up.

<chirpet> pigfucker.

#1443 +(586)- [X]

<Graeme> yeah, don't be nasty. my grandad died in a concentration camp......!

<Graeme> he fell out a guard tower. broke his neck

#2999 +(581)- [X]

<kyourek> There was a 23% drop in temperature.

<nappyjallapy> That's almost 25%!

<kyourek> ... That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard.

#15319 +(578)- [X]

<Hack4Kix> There were three explorers, hiking through what is now known as Canada.

<Hack4Kix> "You know," said one of the explorers, "we should name this place we're hiking through."

<Hack4Kix> "I know," said the second explorer. "We'll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that."

<Hack4Kix> "Okay," said the third, "I'll go first. C, eh."

<Hack4Kix> "N, eh."

<Hack4Kix> "D, eh." And that's how they named Canada...

<Shao> g-eh

#1753 +(570)- [X]


#8209 +(561)- [X]

<Kyuss> how big should disk 1 of neverwinter be?

<JtHM> |<----------------------------->|

<JtHM> (not to scale)

#10699 +(557)- [X]

* Basil|ArFr was promised a BJ from a member of the opposite sex if he gets a C in Literature.

<Fozzie> I've heard of parents giving gifts for good grades, but this is ridiculous!

#1547 +(555)- [X]

<iMike> i was just thinking of hiring a man to service my septic system

<maff> is that the classy way to say you want to get fucked in the ass?

#83627 +(546)- [X]

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

#35955 +(545)- [X]

<EyesofPrisms> and ou are an uytter newb

<KC48348751> dude

<KC48348751> how did that y move over like 12 characters

#2456 +(537)- [X]

<M3rlin-> what is the legal age to buy alcoholic in england ?

<p5Ds13a06> you cant buy alcoholics

<p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will follow you home for free

#5542 +(532)- [X]

[guest27125] hi i am very good at irc, i can script and even hack people on irc,but this real good hacker keeps hacking into me and changing my nick, his name is NickServ

#1988 +(526)- [X]

<kritical> matts: bikes go faster than cars...a bike at 60 mph is a lot faster than a car at 60 mph

<matts> kritical: um no...

<kritical> matts: um yes

<kritical> my sisters sport car at 60 mph goes faster than my dads explorer at 60 mph

<kritical> a bike at 60 mph will blow by a car at 60 mph

#85514 +(521)- [X]

<Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.

#5740 +(516)- [X]

<evenpar123> I think I'm losing it...

<Slant> evenpar123: Losing what?

<evenpar123> my ability to tell the difference between games and reality

<evenpar123> Just today, I was driving down a street, and saw a building that had sunlight reflecting off it...

<evenpar123> And I thought "Damn....these are some nice graphics..."

<evenpar123> It was horrible...

<evenpar123> ugh

#5468 +(504)- [X]

<casmill2> I swear to god i must be the only true optimist left on the planet.

#1057 +(500)- [X]

(MoLaUstEr) They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

#2470 +(493)- [X]

<Fade_> heh, truent, you have a big fat dick up my ass

<Fade_> err your ass

#30509 +(493)- [X]

<Nookadum> I need to learn html can anyone help?

<Blar> Sure. Just put this on your webpage and when you go there a cool editor for it will come up - N<br>o<BR>o<BR>k<BR>a<BR>d<BR>u<BR>m<BR><BR>S<BR>u<BR>c<BR>k<BR>s<BR><BR>C<BR>o<BR>c<BR>k.

<Nookadum> Thanks.

* Nookadum has quit IRC (Quit: Off to work on my webpage. ^-^)

Some time later.

* Nookadum has joined #Megatokyo

<Nookadum> Hey! Fuck you!

<Blar> Alright. I forgot to tell you, you have to press F4 for it to work. That message is just protecting the secret of the editor.

<Nookadum> Oh.. Alright.

* Nookadum has quit IRC (Connection reset by client)

#3320 +(488)- [X]

<spd-dmn> lee: hows the baybee

<Virtualee> spd-dmn She's great! Growing so fast!

<spd-dmn> aw

<spd-dmn> got any pics?

<spazzer> has she sprouted appendages yet?

<KK-> lol

<spazzer> don't babies grow like potatos?

<spd-dmn> ahaha

<spd-dmn> spazzer you're on crack, buddy

<spazzer> you mean they DON'T?

<spazzer> they come out with arms and legs?

<spazzer> shit

<spazzer> i have a whole new respect for women

#6518 +(488)- [X]

<QJ> your grandma opened the shower door

<QJ> while you were wanking?

<knox> yep

<knox> it was worse than that

<QJ> she finished you off?

#4738 +(463)- [X]

* Synoptica bangs OutLore and Lord-Data

[synoptica] fuck

[synoptica] no i dont

* Synoptica bangs OutLore and Lord-Data's heads together

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#4281 +(3433)- [X]

<Zybl0re> get up

<Zybl0re> get on up

<Zybl0re> get up

<Zybl0re> get on up

<phxl|paper> and DANCE

* nmp3bot dances :D\-<

* nmp3bot dances :D|-<

* nmp3bot dances :D/-<

<[sA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

#5273 +(3388)- [X]

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

#5300 +(2737)- [X]

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK

<tatclass> er.

<tatclass> hi.

<andy\code> A common typo.

<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

#23396 +(2439)- [X]



<Eurakarte> RETORT













#4753 +(2062)- [X]

<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

#4848 +(1865)- [X]

<ohm> damn

<ohm> FUCK

<ohm> DAMN

<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up

<ohm> FUCK

<ohm> i go like this to her

<ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"

<ohm> FUCK

#21516 +(1836)- [X]

<turno> I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.

<Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?

<turno> I'll fucking KILL YOU! !

<Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?

<turno> Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.

<Seeker> Don't worry, I won't post it.

[Privmsg] <Seeker> Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?

[Privmsg] <opiate> the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!

[Privmsg] <Seeker> hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.

[Privmsg] <opiate> yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it;)

[Privmsg] <turno> You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.

[Privmsg] <Seeker> I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .

[Privmsg] <turno> *phew* spose you have a point

#5775 +(1824)- [X]

* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm

being an asshole -


#6441 +(1773)- [X]

<Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado

#369 +(1635)- [X]

<Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P

#1578 +(1532)- [X]

<calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator

<ecoli> ew.

<ecoli> wait, you "caught" him?

<ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?

<Aero> he doesnt answer

*** Quits: calin (No route to host)

#9501 +(1516)- [X]

<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...

<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.

<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this

<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?

*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m

#15641 +(1512)- [X]

<superwoman> I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.

<GrandCow> HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!

<superwoman> DANNY?!?!?!

<GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?!

#4278 +(1490)- [X]

<BombScare> i beat the internet

<BombScare> the end guy is hard

#9322 +(1483)- [X]

<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong

<Ouroboros> Ok.

<tag> | .

<Ouroboros> . |

<tag> | .

<Ouroboros> . |

<tag> | .

<Ouroboros> | .

<Ouroboros> Whoops

#25464 +(1476)- [X]

<kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."

<SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.

<SpaceRain> STUPID

#24 +(1452)- [X]

<ckx> women ask for it

<ckx> they act all old and mature

<ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass

<ckx> and they get all bitchy

<ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"

#6460 +(1414)- [X]

<studdud> what the fuck is wtf

#5301 +(1376)- [X]

<blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.

<FlipTopBx> is it modded?

#23601 +(1324)- [X]

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?

<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?

<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

#12431 +(1323)- [X]

<Hiroe> he was dressed as a big fuckin devil

<Hiroe> like, HUGE costume

<Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head

<Hiroe> at some anime con in california

<Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel

<Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space

<Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there

<Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice

#8102 +(1311)- [X]

<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!

<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!

<glome> Who me?!

<content> Yes you!

<glome> Couldn't be!

<content> Then WHO?!!

<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!

*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)

#5598 +(1254)- [X]

<Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don't have anuses.

<Zaratustra> a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.

<Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate driver.

<Kazz> Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.

<Sharkey> And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.

#13213 +(1247)- [X]

<Spazz> Seems like when I say "FUCK" you get an EOF error :o

*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)

*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)

<Bartolimis> fuck

*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)

*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)

<Bartolimis> fuck

<Spazz> fuck

*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)

*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)

<Spazz> fuck

<Bartolimis> stop

*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)

*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)

<Bartolimis> we're done >:)

<Ranto> hmh?

<Spazz> Your client got an error...

<Bartolimis> yeah, we're done saying fuck

<Spazz> everytime we said f***

*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)

*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)

<Spazz> Quit saying fukc

<Bartolimis> my bad

<Spazz> fuck*

*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)

*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)

<Icc> Someone says fuck and he drops ?

*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)

#409 +(1240)- [X]

<DaZE> at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4

#8814 +(1163)- [X]

<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.

#3936 +(1152)- [X]

<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..

<+Christin1> how do i do that

#2605 +(1117)- [X]

* dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts

* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck

*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha

<dregan> Oh shit.

#10958 +(1057)- [X]

(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?

(alec_eso): 1, morganj

(morganj): bastard.

#6824 +(1046)- [X]

<@Logan> I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.

<@Logan> I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"

#4680 +(1044)- [X]

<Raize> can you guys see what I type?

<vecna> no, raize

<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

#10372 +(1039)- [X]

<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.

<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns

#1730 +(1020)- [X]

<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you

woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?

<Celestya> i dont think so

<Mikkel> Wanna go camping?

#10842 +(1004)- [X]

<Aegis> Dude this chick said she wouldn't give me head because she doesn't do that

<Vyse> They still make those?

#14492 +(982)- [X]

<PinkShirt> jt has a handicapped plate, because his penis is so small.

<PinkShirt> it's classed as a "sever disability"

<jtstocker> ha ya

<jtstocker> HEY! i dont have a fucking car

<jtstocker> asshole

#2635 +(980)- [X]

<asr> 'fo sheezy.

<Sabboth> what the fuck does that mean in english? you should understand that having a day job precludes me from 'keeping it real' and as such, I lack a certain familiarity with the language of the 'streets' as it were.

#3630 +(961)- [X]

<blazemore> omg i love this song

<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)

<Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song

#14207 +(955)- [X]

<h|tler> HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

#5523 +(954)- [X]

<Opcode> i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file

#7936 +(953)- [X]

*** Quits: TITANIC (Excess Flood)

#1069 +(937)- [X]

<orion`-`-> what the fuck

<orion`-`-> i think the icecream truck just hit a kid

<orion`-`-> brbrb

#1964 +(921)- [X]

[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp

[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps

[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps

[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps

[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english?

[01:35] (hilo21) fuck you

[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't read the road signs to get to my house?

#5426 +(921)- [X]

<Alcaron> You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something stupid. :)

<Longi> Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up, the high probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing

<Longi> err?

<Longi> THING

<Longi> someTHING!

#4780 +(911)- [X]

<Thumb> do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?

<Lucent> who?

<Thumb> center for disease control

<Lucent> i said WHO

<Thumb> what? i'm asking you

<Lucent> World Health Organization

#5259 +(894)- [X]

<reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away

<reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob

<cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs

<cristobal> and heat up the door knob

<cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer

<cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....

#6562 +(892)- [X]

<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex

<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

#4916 +(881)- [X]

<Polytope> tetris is so unrealistic

#993 +(879)- [X]

serluny: how long did it took u to learn c?

ReDPriest:4.5 minutes

serluny:how did u do that?

ReDPriest:i downloaded it into my brain..i got a program to do


serluny:what program

ReDPriest:download shit into your brain v3.1

serluny:how do i download it?

ReDPriest: go to www.downloadable-shit-for-your-brain.com

serluny:i cant download it something is wrong

#4488 +(878)- [X]

<FM{FF1}> Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.

<FM{FF1}> ...men.


#3935 +(874)- [X]

*** Signoff: Morpheus (Connection reset by peer)

*** Morpheus (vanford@host-209-214-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has joined channel #relax

<Morpheus> argh.. that wasn't my speaker cable

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<DaZE> at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4


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