fierydesire Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 . . . when you really don't mean it? Do you think this a common thing for most people not saying guys do it more than girls or vice versa. . . I feel that I def have been susceptible to this. I know I have said or did things I really didn't feel nor mean but at the time it felt right ya know. . . Also it isn't intentional it just happens . . . I know it may sound fucked up to do, but I think we are all guilty of it at some point, it just sucks when you or the other person believes it, b/c it basically leads the person on and feelings can get hurt in the end. . . I hope this all made sense . . . back to the question what do you guys think? Have you said things you really didn't mean or no you never would think of such a thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizard23 Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 My boyfriend has just recently started getting used to me being like this. For some reason, when I'm angry, I lash out and say a bunch of shit that I totally don't mean and he gets all upset. I don't mean to be vindictive, but it's just a natural reaction for me. Now he can tell pretty well when I'm talking honestly or just blowing smoke out of my ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guest00901 Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 I say stupid shit all the time And yes it has gotten me in trouble MAAAAAAAANY a times. I tend to use my words against people and make them feel awful, especially guys that I date. Then I usually get it held against me with the whole "how do you care about me and say such terrible things" I need to learn not to do that, but it just happens when I get pissed off, oh well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 Uhhh.....I always say stupid shit I don't mean....I can't help it though..it's just how I am...Most of the time I think it affects me more than the other person just b/c I feel so bad about what I said Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 Z, apparently I interpreted your statement a little differently- I took it to mean that you say things to someone that would make them feel that you care for them more than you really do, no???Anyway, yeah, of course I've been guilty of it... it's basically a childish way of avoiding drama. And it always comes back to bite you in the ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintron Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 Originally posted by sexxybabyd I say stupid shit all the time you have no idea how hard it is for me to control myself at this moment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LogiKandReasoN Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 Originally posted by cintron you have no idea how hard it is for me to control myself at this moment Or me for that matter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armanifella Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 Originally posted by sexxybabyd I say stupid shit all the time And yes it has gotten me in trouble MAAAAAAAANY a times. I tend to use my words against people and make them feel awful, especially guys that I date. Then I usually get it held against me with the whole "how do you care about me and say such terrible things" I need to learn not to do that, but it just happens when I get pissed off, oh well I know what you're saying me and my ex would get into some very heated fights and she would say stuff, and I would lash out with some really bad things, and I know I didn't mean it, but like you said it would always come back to me down the road. I feel horrible, its just tough to sit there and take stuff sometimes, ever though it would be better to not say anything. I guess its just the Sicilian temper acting up. I know I never want to be like that again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 And as for saying nasty things you don't mean... it really doesn't get much more childish than that. My ex was like that; I kept myself above it for a while but them sank to his level. I was not happy being that person, and I would not put up with or dole out verbal abuse like that ever again. If you care about someone you don't try to make them feel like... nothing... no matter how angry you are. Besides, you can never know- is someone saying those things just b/c they're angry, but they don't really mean it... or are they saying it b/c they now have an excuse to say what's really on their mind??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armanifella Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 Originally posted by tastyt And as for saying nasty things you don't mean... it really doesn't get much more childish than that. My ex was like that; I kept myself above it for a while but them sank to his level. I was not happy being that person, and I would not put up with or dole out verbal abuse like that ever again. If you care about someone you don't try to make them feel like... nothing... no matter how angry you are. Besides, you can never know- is someone saying those things just b/c they're angry, but they don't really mean it... or are they saying it b/c they now have an excuse to say what's really on their mind??? I understand that but if say something mean, and than your actions show that it was just somethng stupid, and actions are supposed to speak luder than words wouldn't that kinda show the person that you really love them or care about them. Just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 Originally posted by armanifella I understand that but if say something mean, and than your actions show that it was just somethng stupid, and actions are supposed to speak luder than words wouldn't that kinda show the person that you really love them or care about them. Just a thought. If you repeatedly verbally abuse your partner... that's an action that speaks pretty loudly.No matter how much some try to say otherwise... words hurt. A lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armanifella Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 Originally posted by tastyt If you repeatedly verbally abuse your partner... that's an action that speaks pretty loudly.No matter how much some try to say otherwise... words hurt. A lot. I know, but I am saying if it happens every now and than when you and your partner are in some heated fights, its never right, but after those fights you make up and prove your love to them, than couldn't one say that they were wrong in that short term but overall I now he or she loves and cares about me b/c of all the nice things they do for me. Hurtful words are wrong and they hurt alot, but if your overall actions are good and loving doesn't that override the hurtful words that are said in the heat of the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 Originally posted by armanifella I know, but I am saying if it happens every now and than when you and your partner are in some heated fights, its never right, but after those fights you make up and prove your love to them, than couldn't one say that they were wrong in that short term but overall I now he or she loves and cares about me b/c of all the nice things they do for me. Hurtful words are wrong and they hurt alot, but if your overall actions are good and loving doesn't that override the hurtful words that are said in the heat of the moment. I'm really talking about something that happens on an ongoing basis- not just once in a blue. Even so- it's always better to bite your tongue, even just get away from the situation, go out and take a walk or something, anything! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armanifella Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 ok, I see what ur saying and u are right it is always better to say nothing if it is going to be somethng bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted July 15 Author Report Share Posted July 15 Originally posted by tastyt Z, apparently I interpreted your statement a little differently- I took it to mean that you say things to someone that would make them feel that you care for them more than you really do, no???Anyway, yeah, of course I've been guilty of it... it's basically a childish way of avoiding drama. And it always comes back to bite you in the ass. yea babe that is what I meant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 Originally posted by fierydesire yea babe that is what I meant I understand you, mama, I feel your pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liquidflow Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 I know I have def. said some really messed up things to an old girlfriend because I was pissed off . I said "I am not emotionally, physically, or in any other way attracted to you anymore". Looking back, it was way fucked up and I can't believe I said it because I def. didn't mean it, but sometimes you just wanna hurt the person as much as they hurt you. It's instinct. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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