trancerxn112 Posted July 29 Report Share Posted July 29 NEW LANGUAGEThe European Commission has just announced an agreementwhereby English will be the official language of the EUrather than German which was the other possibility. As partof the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded thatEnglish spelling had some room for improvement and has accepteda 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as “Euro-Englishâ€.In the first year, “s†will replace the soft “câ€. Sertainly,this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “câ€will be dropped in favour of theâ€kâ€. This should klear upkonfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph†will be replaced with “fâ€. Thiswill make words like “fotograf†20% shorter.In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan beekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changesare possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of doubleletters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “eâ€s inthe language is disgraseful, and they should go away.By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such asreplasing “th†with “z†and “w†with “vâ€. During ze fifz year,ze unesesary “o†kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou†andsimilar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations ofleters.After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zervil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezito understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zenve vil tak over ze world! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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