Bling Posted September 21 Report Share Posted September 21 besides being a hardcore clubber i also write poetry have for many years. i have a pretty big collection but i have one in particular id like to share with this board seeing as how ive met so many of you already and feel at home here i thought what the hell.hope u like it The BedroomThe iridescent hue of the candles are at its peak, rose petals strewn about in an orgy of color, a man and woman are atop the satin sheets naked ready for an adventure into each other. The man starts to whisper sweet nothings nonchalantly into the delicate beauty’s ear. His heart pounding, sweat beading, genitalia aching. The woman’s skin as soft as silk, her naked body begins to sway to the rhythmic motions of their hearts. Her breasts start to heave, her supple pink nipples are erect. The man begins to kiss her neck and be one with her soul.The motions intensify, the man continues to pump the woman begins to quiver in ecstascy. Deeper and deeper the man goes into her body but most importantly her soul. As he grasps her breasts with one hand the other is around her heart. The undulating motions tenses up the man’s penis, his head moistens with his and her juices. The point of no return is upon us. The woman orgasms in a fit of sound of fury. The man is proud of himself a job well done. He tells her how much he loves her how every moment of his life he has awaited with baited breathe for a woman like her, a woman who can both excite and entice him with her physical beauty and emotional spirituality. His penis starts to ache knowing he is about to orgasm he slows down and pulls out. Ready for round 2… like a boxer resting in his respective corner waiting to pounce anew.He strokes her sweet spot she licks his fingers and strokes his manhood. She gently places it back in and tells him to Fuck her!!!Every man yearns for those words so he starts to pump her harder and harder, faster and faster. He finally ejaculates in a fit of passion. Ejaculation… man’s ascension to heaven and back a fast journey but a powerful one nonetheless.The candles have died out, the rose petals are all over the floor the sheets rustled all up. All that is left is two naked bodies heaving and panting enlocked in an embrace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted September 22 Report Share Posted September 22 hey, clubspaceguy, no criticism on the writing itself, and i won't go after your punctuation (you can play with that later and use poetic license with that, if you want), but i do have some spelling and grammar corrections, if you're interested :par. #1: The iridescent hue of the candles is at its peak...the subject is "hue," not "candles." par. #4: ...ecstasy...par. #5: The undulating motions tense up the man’s penis...the subject is "motions," therefore the verb must be "tense," not "tenses." par. #7: ...he has awaited with bated breath for a woman like her...there's no "i" in this "bate," and no "e" in "breath," the noun.it's good to be passionate in your writing; rock on !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.