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mrmatas2277

Cows

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> > >>DEMOCRAT:

> > >>You have two cows.

> > >>

> > >>your neighbor has none.

> > >>

> > >>You feel guilty for being successful.

> > >>

> > >>You vote people into office that put a tax on your

> > >>

> > >>cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. >>

> > >>The people you voted for then take the tax money,

> > >>

> > >>buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.. You feel righteous.

> > >>

> > >>Barbara Streisand sings for you.

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>REPUBLICAN:

> > >>

> > >>You have two cows.

> > >>

> > >>Your neighbor has none..

> > >>

> > >>So?

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>SOCIALIST:

> > >>

> > >>You have two cows.

> > >>

> > >>The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

> > >>

> > >>You form a co-operative to tell him how to manage his cow.

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>COMMUNIST:

> > >>

> > >>You have two cows.

> > >>

> > >>The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

> > >>

> > >>You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>AMERICAN CORPORATION:

> > >>

> > >>You have two cows.

> > >>

> > >>You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd

> one.

> > >>

> > >>You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. >>

> > >>You are surprised when one cow drops dead.

> > >>

> > >>You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized

> > >>

> > >>and are reducing expenses.

> > >>

> > >>Your stock goes up.

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>FRENCH CORPORATION:

> > >>

> > >>You have two cows.

> > >>

> > >>You go on strike because you want three cows. The cows must say "Le

> Moo"

> >

> > >>

> > >>not "Moo".

> > >>

> > >>You don't care too much because you're afraid of cows anyway. You

> go to

> > >>

> > >>lunch.

> > >>

> > >>Life is good.

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>JAPANESE CORPORATION:

> > >>

> > >>You have two cows.

> > >>

> > >>You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow

> and

> > >>

> > >>produce twenty times the milk

> > >>

> > >>They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.

> > >>

> > >>Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>GERMAN CORPORATION:

> > >>

> > >>You have two cows.

> > >>

> > >>You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give

> > >>

> > >>excellent

> > >>

> > >>quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.

> > >>

> > >>Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>ITALIAN CORPORATION:

> > >>

> > >>You have two cows but you don't know where they are.

> > >>

> > >>While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.

> > >>

> > >>You break for lunch.

> > >>

> > >>Life is good.

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

> > >>

> > >>You have two cows.

> > >>

> > >>You count them and learn you have five cows.

> > >>

> > >>You have some more vodka.

> > >>

> > >>You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

> > >>

> > >>You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.

> > >>

> > >>You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

> > >>

> > >>You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months.

> > >>

> > >>The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really

> have.

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>TAL-I- BAN CORPORATION:

> > >>

> > >>You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.

> > >>

> > >>You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private

> > >>

> > >>parts.

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>POLISH CORPORATION:

> > >>

> > >>You have two bulls.

> > >>

> > >>Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them..

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>FLORIDA CORPORATION:

> > >>

> > >>You have a black cow and a brown cow.

> > >>

> > >>Everyone votes for the best looking one.

> > >>

> > >>Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black

> one.

> > >>

> > >>Some people vote for both.

> > >>

> > >>Some people vote for neither.

> > >>

> > >>Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.

> > >>

> > >>Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the

> > >>

> > >>best-looking one.

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>NEW YORK CORPORATION:

> > >>

> > >>You have fifteen million cows.

> > >>

> > >>You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd.

> > >>

> > >>So you pick some dumb cow from Arkansas named Hillary

> > >>

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NEW YORK CORPORATION:

> > >>

> > >>You have fifteen million cows.

> > >>

> > >>You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd.

> > >>

> > >>So you pick some dumb cow from Arkansas named Hillary

> > >>

Rephrase:

So you pick some dumb cow from Texas named George.

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Yeah, Bush falls more into the "monkey with a cowboy hat on" image :aright:

ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.

While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.

You break for lunch.

Life is good

The truth of this statement is stunning :rofl:

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