mrmatas2277 Posted October 9 Report Share Posted October 9 > > >>DEMOCRAT:> > >>You have two cows.> > >>> > >>your neighbor has none.> > >>> > >>You feel guilty for being successful.> > >>> > >>You vote people into office that put a tax on your> > >>> > >>cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. >>> > >>The people you voted for then take the tax money,> > >>> > >>buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.. You feel righteous.> > >>> > >>Barbara Streisand sings for you.> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>REPUBLICAN:> > >>> > >>You have two cows.> > >>> > >>Your neighbor has none..> > >>> > >>So?> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>SOCIALIST:> > >>> > >>You have two cows.> > >>> > >>The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.> > >>> > >>You form a co-operative to tell him how to manage his cow.> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>COMMUNIST:> > >>> > >>You have two cows.> > >>> > >>The government seizes both and provides you with milk.> > >>> > >>You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>AMERICAN CORPORATION:> > >>> > >>You have two cows.> > >>> > >>You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd> one.> > >>> > >>You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. >>> > >>You are surprised when one cow drops dead.> > >>> > >>You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized> > >>> > >>and are reducing expenses.> > >>> > >>Your stock goes up.> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>FRENCH CORPORATION:> > >>> > >>You have two cows.> > >>> > >>You go on strike because you want three cows. The cows must say "Le> Moo"> >> > >>> > >>not "Moo".> > >>> > >>You don't care too much because you're afraid of cows anyway. You> go to> > >>> > >>lunch.> > >>> > >>Life is good.> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>JAPANESE CORPORATION:> > >>> > >>You have two cows.> > >>> > >>You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow> and> > >>> > >>produce twenty times the milk> > >>> > >>They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.> > >>> > >>Most are at the top of their class at cow school.> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>GERMAN CORPORATION:> > >>> > >>You have two cows.> > >>> > >>You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give> > >>> > >>excellent> > >>> > >>quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.> > >>> > >>Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>ITALIAN CORPORATION:> > >>> > >>You have two cows but you don't know where they are.> > >>> > >>While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.> > >>> > >>You break for lunch.> > >>> > >>Life is good.> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>RUSSIAN CORPORATION:> > >>> > >>You have two cows.> > >>> > >>You count them and learn you have five cows.> > >>> > >>You have some more vodka.> > >>> > >>You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.> > >>> > >>You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.> > >>> > >>You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.> > >>> > >>You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months.> > >>> > >>The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really> have.> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>TAL-I- BAN CORPORATION:> > >>> > >>You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.> > >>> > >>You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private> > >>> > >>parts.> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>POLISH CORPORATION:> > >>> > >>You have two bulls.> > >>> > >>Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them..> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>FLORIDA CORPORATION:> > >>> > >>You have a black cow and a brown cow.> > >>> > >>Everyone votes for the best looking one.> > >>> > >>Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black> one.> > >>> > >>Some people vote for both.> > >>> > >>Some people vote for neither.> > >>> > >>Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.> > >>> > >>Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the> > >>> > >>best-looking one.> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>NEW YORK CORPORATION:> > >>> > >>You have fifteen million cows.> > >>> > >>You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd.> > >>> > >>So you pick some dumb cow from Arkansas named Hillary> > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xpyrate Posted October 9 Report Share Posted October 9 dats pretty silly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
normalnoises Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 NEW YORK CORPORATION:> > >>> > >>You have fifteen million cows.> > >>> > >>You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd.> > >>> > >>So you pick some dumb cow from Arkansas named Hillary> > >>Rephrase:So you pick some dumb cow from Texas named George. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppanils Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 Originally posted by normalnoises Rephrase:So you pick some dumb cow from Texas named George. i dont think george falls into the "cow" imagecheney, rummsfield, etc....now there are some better comparisons Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vixenfoxxy Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 Yeah, Bush falls more into the "monkey with a cowboy hat on" image ITALIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows but you don't know where they are.While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.You break for lunch.Life is good The truth of this statement is stunning Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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