weyes Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 people obsess about hearing their boy/girlfriends or wives/husbands say "i love you," how often they do it, and who in the relationship says it first - whether first for the very first time or just first every time it's said. some feel that the frequency with which it's said is an indication of how intense or true the love is, whereas some people just "don't really say it."here's my thing, though. i don't have a romantic counterpart. but there are times when it'd be nice to hear some people in my family volunteer that they love me. what i'd really like the most, though, is to hear the friends that i love - which are very few - say it. i told a friend i loved him recently, but it was in regular conversation after something funny happened, and i think he thought i just meant it casually. i'm very particular with my words (as you on this board know ), though, and i don't throw "love" around. anyway, maybe he didn't get that i really meant it... it shouldn't matter all that much to me, 'cause whether he says that or not, our relationship is the same. some could say that words are just words, but these are just so reassuring and comforting; they let me know that everything is ok.but people generally don't talk about bonds of love between friends and family as though they're as important as love between romantic couples. why do you think this is? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumpdaddy Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 Originally posted by weyes people obsess about hearing their boy/girlfriends or wives/husbands say "i love you," how often they do it, and who in the relationship says it first - whether first for the very first time or just first every time it's said. some feel that the frequency with which it's said is an indication of how intense or true the love is, whereas some people just "don't really say it."here's my thing, though. i don't have a romantic counterpart. but there are times when it'd be nice to hear some people in my family volunteer that they love me. what i'd really like the most, though, is to hear the friends that i love - which are very few - say it. i told a friend i loved him recently, but it was in regular conversation after something funny happened, and i think he thought i just meant it casually. i'm very particular with my words (as you on this board know ), though, and i don't throw "love" around. anyway, maybe he didn't get that i really meant it... it shouldn't matter all that much to me, 'cause whether he says that or not, our relationship is the same. some could say that words are just words, but these are just so reassuring and comforting; they let me know that everything is ok.but people generally don't talk about bonds of love between friends and family as though they're as important as love between romantic couples. why do you think this is? Stop whining ... freinds and family love each other and shouldn't have to say it... it's understood...I find that people who constantly feel like they have to say "i love you" are the ones who feel that you need convincing because they havent been there for you....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimk29 Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 Originally posted by bumpdaddy Stop whining ... freinds and family love each other and shouldn't have to say it... it's understood...I find that people who constantly feel like they have to say "i love you" are the ones who feel that you need convincing because they havent been there for you....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solbeam Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 Action speak volumes and words can only take you so far without any sincerity backing them up. However it is nice to know once in a while that some actually gives a shit about you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 Originally posted by bumpdaddy Stop whining ... freinds and family love each other and shouldn't have to say it... it's understood...I find that people who constantly feel like they have to say "i love you" are the ones who feel that you need convincing because they havent been there for you....... If it's really love it should always be understood, be it familial, friendly, OR romantic love... but still, it doesn't hurt to hear it. And it shouldn't hurt to say it either.With that said, I do hear it a lot from my family, and I say it as well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phatman Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 Originally posted by tastyt If it's really love it should always be understood, be it familial, friendly, OR romantic love... but still, it doesn't hurt to hear it. And it shouldn't hurt to say it either. I LOVE YOU!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 Originally posted by phatman I LOVE YOU!! You are so damn cute... I love you too Pooh Bear! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumpdaddy Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Does the fact that someone says "i love you" make you feel forced to reciprocate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mala Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Sure actions speak louder, but I like to hear it. I remember the first time one of my friends told me she loved me. I absolutely melted. I knew we had a great friendship, and that the love was there, but hearing it gave me such a great high. Why not say it if you mean it, and it makes someone feel good? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted November 21 Author Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by bumpdaddy Stop whining ... freinds and family love each other and shouldn't have to say it... it's understood...i don't love that many people; there are people in my family who are included in the "i don't love" category. mandatory feelings, be they of love or anything else, are not true feelings. unconditional love is not something inborn, whether we'd all like to believe that or not. duty, loyalty, affection are other things altogether.Originally posted by tastytbut still, it doesn't hurt to hear it. And it shouldn't hurt to say it either.With that said, I do hear it a lot from my family, and I say it as well...without even entering into the whole "first time" discussion - hearing it's reassuring, much like a hug. perhaps some people above don't understand those, either.Originally posted by bumpdaddyDoes the fact that someone says "i love you" make you feel forced to reciprocate?no. i am a sincere person, and know that these words aren't to be taken lightly. i would expect that the people that i love would respect me enough to not lie and tell me they love me when they don't, either.Originally posted by malaWhy not say it if you mean it, and it makes someone feel good?tha'ss what I'M talkin' about !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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