Saturday Sucks

[unclefester401]

[xlr8ted]

I hear ya, got a family x-mas party @ 2pm... I hate going to these.. Just going to sit in the corner w/ my cousins and get light up, tell em' what I really feel, kick the tree over and take off..

Went to F1 in Braintree last night, those fuking cars fly. Oh and DJ bRother Cleave was tearing it up,

Tracks

Jimmi Hendrix / Rob BaSE mix "it takes 2"

cLeave cougin into the mic/ Ton loc wild thing mix

Fuckin sickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

[fouroneone]

[unclefester401]

Work is sooooooo sssssiiiiiiiicccccccckkkkkkk right now! I got in about a 1/2 hour late, and I've only had 1 person walk through the door. I think I'm going to the car wash when I take my lunch break.

[fouroneone]

[xlr8ted]

411 what up bro?

[fouroneone]

not much:eek:

[xlr8ted]

Would you vote dee into the Gauntlet over Laterian?

[fouroneone]

[fouroneone]

saturday does suck balls though

broke up with my gf of 2 1/2 years last night

[unclefester401]

Originally posted by fouroneone

broke up with my gf of 2 1/2 years last night

Why?

[fouroneone]

.

[fouroneone]

:eek: :laugh:

[unclefester401]

Originally posted by fouroneone

her and her family are in this cult-ish church, whose members are not supposed to date "outsiders" so that put a bit of pressure on us

I went to a high school filled with people that went to a church like that. Threy were pretty extreme in their beliefs. They couldn't have tv's, go to dances, have premarital sex (not that any religion really condones this, but they paid attention to that rule), and the average number of children per family was about 10-12.

[fouroneone]

,

anyway......its noon on saturday, and i've got the epic cheese trance blasting to cheer me up:laugh:

[fouroneone]

Where the hell is SUPA?, i need a laugh

[xlr8ted]

I used to a date a girl who was Nazerene(is that a religon?) anyways her fuckin parents gave a certain percent of the income to the church, and swore up and down that thier pastor was a saint and did whatever he said.. I'm catholic but don't practice,unless i'm going to get a handjob, then i'm a saint.. So anyways... She used to teach Sunday school and ask me to come and help every once in a while, and since she has a pussy, i had to to things I didn't want to do. I would go in on no sleep, srill drunk and fall alseep in one of those little desks.. It sucked. So come to find out the Pastor was arested for jerking off in his car on a side street in Hull Ma... religons are crazy. All I have to say to her parents is, you could have paid me alot less and I was jerking off on your daughter in the next room over./

[fouroneone]

:laugh: :laugh:

edit

Now that i'm free, where's Rachel at?

[xlr8ted]

Seems like her parents have a lot of say in what she does, it would be tuff on any guy.. Did you tell her parents that your a member of CP?

[fouroneone]

yes, and they knew about sexybabyd and disapproved of her immoral lifestyle, even all the way from florida!!!!! that was a big slip up on my part:laugh: :laugh:

[fouroneone]

gonna go grab a bite to eat. brb

[unclefester401]

Originally posted by xlr8ted

I I'm catholic but don't practice,

I was at a friend's house Christmas Eve a couple of years ago. His Mother is Catholic and his Father is a Protestant(sp). We were hanging out bullshitting and his Father asked me what I was. I told him "I was raised Catholic". Then he said "so you're an Atheist", after laughing uncontrolably for about 10 minutes I told him that I was.

Do many Catholics practice their religion after they're old enough to decide they don't want to go to church anymore?

[unclefester401]

I copied and pasted this whole thing from somebodies site. Read the whole thing if you need a good laugh.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was posted to the somethingawful forums, by Interlude, I thought more people should see it.

This conversation is real. It took place over AOL Instant Messenger. Only the names have been changed to protect starcrftmaniac and PunkgirlAngl, I mean, the innocent.

Girl: Hi

Boy: hello

Boy: who is this?

Girl: just a someone?

Boy: A someone I know?

Girl: nope

Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me?

Girl: well sorrrrrry

Girl: I just wanted to chat with you

Boy: why?

Girl: nevermind your an asshole

Boy: Hey wait a minute

Girl: yes?

Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid

Girl: paranoid?

Boy: yes

Girl: of what?

Girl: me?

Boy: No. I'm in hiding.

Girl: LOL

Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me!

Boy: This shit is serious!

Girl: What are you hiding from?

Boy: The cops.

Girl: gimme a fucking break

Boy: I'm serious.

Girl: I don't get it

Boy: The cops are after me.

Girl: For what?

Boy: I'm wanted in three states

Girl: For???

Boy: It's kindof embarrasing.

Boy: I had sex with a turkey.

Boy: Hello?

Girl: You are fucking sick.

Boy: Send me your picture.

Girl: why?

Boy: so I know you aren't one of them.

Girl: One of what?

Boy: The cops.

Girl: I'm not a cop i told you

Boy: Then send me your picture.

Girl: hold on

Boy: Hurry up.

Boy: Are you there?

Boy: fuck you, cop!

Girl: Hey sorry

Girl: I had to do something for my mom.

Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.

Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities.

Boy: Weren't you!?

Girl: thats not it

Boy: Then what?

Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty

Boy: Most cops aren't

Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD!

Boy: Then send me the picture.

Girl: fine. What's your e-mail?

Boy: Just send it through here.

Girl: alright *PIC*

Girl: Did you get it?

Boy: Hold on. I'm looking.

Girl: That was me back in may

Girl: I've lost weight since then.

Boy: I hope so

Girl: what?!?

Girl: that hurt my feelings.

Boy: Did it?

Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.

Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?

Girl: yes

Boy: Alright let me find it.

Girl: kks

Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC*

Girl: this isn't you.

Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't!

Girl: You don't look like that.

Boy: How the hell do you know?

Girl: cause your profile has another picture.

Boy: The profile pic is a fake.

Boy: I use it to hide from the cops.

Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol

Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....

Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.

Girl: Go fuck yourself

Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture

Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.

Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.

Girl: You've done nothing but slam me.

Girl: you hurt me.

Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?

Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me!

Boy: Why would I do that?

Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you

Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..

Girl: FUC YOU!!!

Boy: You'd break both of his legs.

Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole.

Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight

Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me

Boy: Ok. I'm sorry.

Girl: No you aren't

Boy: You're right. I'm not.

Boy: HAARRRRR!

Girl: I'm done with you

Boy: Aww. I'm sorry.

Girl: I'm putting you on ignore

Boy: Wait a sec

Boy: We got off on the wrong foot.

Boy: Wanna start over?

Girl: No

Boy: I'll eat your pussy

Girl: You'll what?

Boy: You heard me.

Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy.

Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture

Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?

Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes

Boy: Well I'm not like most men.

Boy: I get excited in different ways.

Girl: Like what?

Boy: Do you really wanna know?

Girl: I don't know

Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.

Girl: I'm afraid to

Boy: Why?

Girl: cause

Boy: cause why?

Girl: well lets see

Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me ut

Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?

Boy: Nope

Girl: well its strange to me

Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to

Girl: I didn't say that

Boy: So is that a yes?

Girl: I guess so.

Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.

Boy: Are you willing?

Girl: What do you need me to do?

Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.

Girl: ???

Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"

Boy: ok?

Boy: Hello?

Girl: You can't be serious

Boy: Oh yes I am!

Boy: It's my fantasy.

Girl: this is retarded

Boy: Do you want it or not?

Girl: Yes I want it.

Boy: Then you'll do it for me?

Girl: sure

Boy: Ok. Here we go.

Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.

Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them

Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.

Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.

Girl: mmmm yeah

Boy: uh oh ...going limp.

Girl: Har

Boy: You gotta do better than that!

Boy: Your picture was really bad.

Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR

Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.

Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.

Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.

Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.

Girl: mmmmmm you are good

Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder

Boy: going limp

Girl: HARRRRRRR

Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.

Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.

Boy: going limp

Girl: this is stupid

Boy: ...still limp

Boy: Do it!

Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR

Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.

Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.

Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.

Girl: WTF?!?!?

Boy: They stink really bad.

Girl: OMG STOP!!!

Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass

Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.

Boy: I ram it up your ass.

Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!

Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.

Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...

Boy: I kick you in the face!

Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!

Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...

Boy: Your parrot flys away.

Boy: ...going limp again.

Boy: Hello?

Boy: Say it!

Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

:laugh:

[fouroneone]

:laugh: :laugh:

[fouroneone]

VictimX_27: Hi there!

cheesedog: HEYA!

VictimX_27: What u up 2?

cheesedog: Nice English.

cheesedog: Did you learn that on the short bus?

VictimX_27: Get fucked

cheesedog: I'm just joking relax

VictimX_27:

cheesedog: What's your name?

VictimX_27: Whats yours?

cheesedog: I asked you first.

VictimX_27: I asked you second

cheesedog: Did I time just warp to middle school?

VictimX_27: huh

cheesedog: Never mind. My name is Johnny

cheesedog: Johnny Cheesedog

VictimX_27: Thats not your real name

cheesedog: Why isn't that my real name?

VictimX_27: No one has the name Cheesedog as a last name

cheesedog: Well I do. Whats wrong with it?

VictimX_27: Nothin i suppose

VictimX_27: Is that your real pic in that av?

cheesedog: Yes it is

VictimX_27: Very handsome

cheesedog: Thanks

VictimX_27: You kinda look like eminem

cheesedog: Fuck you.

VictimX_27: HEY! I meant that in a good way

VictimX_27: I think eminem is hot!

cheesedog: Oh. You think I'm hot?

VictimX_27: Yeah

cheesedog: What do you look like?

cheesedog: Do you have a pic?

VictimX_27: I don't show my picture to anyone

cheesedog: Why not?

VictimX_27: Cause I'm ugly

cheesedog: I won't make fun of you

VictimX_27: Its not that. I just don't like my looks

cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem, huh?

cheesedog: Is that what you're saying?

VictimX_27: I just don't think I'm pretty

cheesedog: Let me be the judge of that.

VictimX_27: Nahhh

cheesedog: Then describe yourself.

VictimX_27: Why do u wanna know what I look like?

cheesedog: Because I think you're nice

cheesedog: I want to picture you in my head while I'm talking to

you.

VictimX_27: LMAO!! You don't want 2 picture me. Trust me

cheesedog: Why not?

VictimX_27: I told you. I'm ugly.

cheesedog: Well... I think you're beautiful on the inside.

VictimX_27: You don't even know me

cheesedog: I'm a pretty good judge of character

VictimX_27: Then why do u need 2 see me?

cheesedog: I just wanted to know thats all

cheesedog: If you aren't comfortable with it... thats fine.

VictimX_27: You don't understand

cheesedog: Is it that bad?

VictimX_27: YESSSSS

cheesedog: Ok then. I'm gonna picture you as Weezy from the

Jeffersons.

cheesedog: She is the bomb!

cheesedog: She makes me hot just thinking about her!

VictimX_27: Wheezy?

cheesedog: Yep. Weezy.

VictimX_27: Who is that?

cheesedog: George's wife.

VictimX_27: Who is george

cheesedog: George Jefferson. From the Jeffersons.

cheesedog: Are you fucking deaf?

VictimX_27: Who are the Jeffersons?

cheesedog: Oh lord. Here we go

VictimX_27: wut?

cheesedog: You don't know who the Jeffersons are?

VictimX_27: Should I?

cheesedog: Yes.

VictimX_27: Well I don't.

cheesedog: FISH DONT FRY IN THE KITCHEN! BEANS DONT BURN

ON THE GREEEELL...

VictimX_27: huhhh?

cheesedog: TOOK A WHOOOOLE LOTTA LU UH VINNNN. JUST TO

GET UP THAT HEEEELL

VictimX_27: Wut the hell are you saying?

cheesedog: Hold on a second

cheesedog: Here you go. *PIC*

VictimX_27: Thats her?

cheesedog: Yep

VictimX_27: I don't look anything like that

cheesedog: SHUT UP! You're ruining my fantasy!

VictimX_27: LOL. You're funny.

cheesedog: What's funny?

VictimX_27: u r

cheesedog: I'm glad I entertain you

VictimX_27: me 2

cheesedog: So if you don't look like Weezy, what do you look like?

VictimX_27: u don't give up do u?

cheesedog: Never

VictimX_27: I'm the exact opposite of her

cheesedog: ???

VictimX_27: I'm very white

cheesedog: Thats cool, my white anti-soul sista'

VictimX_27: LOL

cheesedog: I can dig white chicks too, I guess.

VictimX_27: I'm whiter than most

cheesedog: really?

VictimX_27: I'm an albino

cheesedog: a what?

VictimX_27: u don't know what that is?

cheesedog: I've heard the word before

VictimX_27: I have no pigment in my skin, eyes or hair

VictimX_27: So I'm all white

cheesedog: This is bullshit

VictimX_27: I'm serious!

VictimX_27: You've never seen an albino before?

cheesedog: No. Where do they live? Albinia?

VictimX_27: No, we live all over.

cheesedog: Then how come I've never seen any

VictimX_27: Lucky I suppose

cheesedog: Send me your picture. I wanna know what an albino

looks like.

VictimX_27: I'll send you a picture of one but not me

cheesedog: Ok

VictimX_27: Here u go *PIC*

cheesedog: Whoa. Thats freaky

VictimX_27: See why I don't send my picture out?

cheesedog: there's nothing wrong with it.

cheesedog: It doesn't make you ugly

cheesedog: This chick is kind of hot actually.

VictimX_27: Thank u

cheesedog: No problem

cheesedog: Her, not you. I don't know what you look like.

VictimX_27: Are you gonna be on in 3 hours?

cheesedog: Yes

VictimX_27: I have to go to the mall with my sister

VictimX_27: Will you be here when I get back?

cheesedog: Sure. Then I'll sex you up.

VictimX_27: Gee thanks. LOL

cheesedog: I'm serious

VictimX_27: We'll see.

cheesedog: Yes we will.

VictimX_27: Bye for now!

cheesedog: Make sure you wear some sunscreen.

VictimX_27:

About 3 hours later...

VictimX_27: HEY!

cheesedog: Hello there

VictimX_27: I'm back

cheesedog: Have fun at the mall?

VictimX_27: Yeah. I got some new shoes

cheesedog: Interesting

VictimX_27: Not really. Just shoes

cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now?

VictimX_27: LOL

cheesedog: Is that a yes?

VictimX_27: Could be

VictimX_27:

cheesedog: HOT DAMN!

cheesedog: I gently suck your nipples

cheesedog: I feel them get hard then I jam my hand down your..

VictimX_27: WOAH! Slow down cowboy

cheesedog: Why?

VictimX_27: I'm not just gonna cyber with you if thats all you want

cheesedog: What do you mean?

VictimX_27: You're not going to ignore me later are you?

cheesedog: Of course not.

cheesedog: I like you.

VictimX_27: I don't even know how old you are.

cheesedog: I'm 27. Now....

cheesedog: I gently massage your breasts with my rough hands

cheesedog: I roll your nipples between my fingers

VictimX_27: WAIT!

cheesedog: They get hard again... what?

VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me first?

VictimX_27: Like what I like?

cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry up.

VictimX_27: That didn't sound convincing.

cheesedog: YES I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!

VictimX_27: Now u r being a smartass

VictimX_27: Just give me a minute

cheesedog: ok

VictimX_27: I'm back

cheesedog: np

VictimX_27: thank you

cheesedog: So what do you like?

VictimX_27: Ummmm being licked

cheesedog: Where?

VictimX_27: Everywhere

cheesedog: Any place in particular?

VictimX_27: uhhh yeah

cheesedog: tell me

VictimX_27: on my clit

cheesedog: OK!

cheesedog: NOW YOU'RE TALKIN!

VictimX_27: I also like being done from behind

cheesedog: Ooooooohhhh.

cheesedog: Ok. Check this out.

cheesedog: We're in an abandoned building.

cheesedog: No one is around. Its all quiet.

VictimX_27: Uh huh

cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my hand

across your clit

cheesedog: You get all warm and juicy.

cheesedog: I slip your panties down and continue to massage

your pussy

VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm

cheesedog: I place my mouth on your pussy as I eat you from behind

cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole

VictimX_27: yessss

cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you.

cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back.

cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs*

VictimX_27: ???

cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!!

cheesedog: POW!! BZZZZZTTTTTPHTTTTTT!!!

cheesedog: Winston and Peter set up the containment trap....

VictimX_27: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!!

cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams buck naked

cheesedog: The streams almost cross! Look out!!

cheesedog: Peter smacks you across the chin with his gun

cheesedog: They open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in!

VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny!

cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT!

cheesedog: **puts you in the containment area**

cheesedog: Slimer is in there too..

VictimX_27: YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!

cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!

cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey cock in your

pigmentless ass.

cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!**

VictimX_27: Never talk to me again!

cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause

its the same color

VictimX_27: FUCK YOUUUU

cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut!

VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND FUCK YOUUUU!!!!!

cheesedog: No wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore!

VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said.

cheesedog: Slimer goes to lick your clit.

cheesedog: But there is already slime on your it!!

cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets jealous!!

cheesedog: HE RIPS YOUR WHITE TITS OFF!

VictimX_27: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!

cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them**

VictimX_27: USER HAS LOGGED OUT