Straight Lesbians

[chris817]

A straight lesbian's account of life in New York City.

>

>

> So I finally did it. I took control of my own sexual

> destiny. I saw what I wanted and like the empowered

> tigress that I am, I took it. I had sex with a girl.

> Actually I was pathetically drunk and was more consumed

> with the idea of passing out rather than shagging another

> woman.

>

> Ok, I admit, I've thought about it. Who hasn't really?

> Fantasy-wise, it's a great turn on - girl meets girl,

girl

> kisses girl, girl goes home with girl and has an amazing

> sexual escapade that will never be matched by a man.

Like

> I said, fantasy, at least for me. But what I realized

was

> the experience proved to be something that will remain

with

> me until the end of time as a constant reminder as to how

> shitty finding a male companion in New York City really

is.

>

>

> Talk to most women in this city and they will probably

tell

> you the same thing, there are no eligible men around. In

> Manhattan, there are about 8 million people. Half that

and

> you've got the male population of New York City. Another

> whack in half leaves the number of straight men in town.

> Take a final half hit and what's left is around 1-million

> moderately good-looking guys (keep in mind that number

> begins to drop significantly when employment status,

> overall hygiene and wardrobe are taken into account).

>

> It's a number that should make the Guinness Book of World

> Records for city with the least amount of desirable men.

> Instead, it forced my good girlfriend and I to find

comfort

> in each other's naked arms.

>

> "The last guy I dated was a waste of a big dick,"

explained

> C.C. as she exhaled her cigi. "Ugh, I can't believe

there

> are no good looking, considerate men in this entire

city."

> Me and Cease openly enjoy complaining about the shortage

of

> males - especially when surrounded by complete tools at

the

> bars. C.C.'s experience with the opposite of sex has

been

> less than fulfilling. Her most intense relationship was

> based solely on sex and just the thought of it still

leaves

> her feeling ill.

>

> My adventures in dating are equally as lame and

sex-based;

> please enter exhibits A, B and C:

>

> Vinnie, the cop, lured me in with the old

> I-dug-myself-out-of-the-World-Trade-Center-rubble line.

> Don't laugh; it worked. I thought I was doing my

patriotic

> duty by giving one of America's hero's a blowjob. Mark,

> the one nightstand, informed me that he wanted to "make

> love to me." Enough said. And Miro, the stockbroker,

got

> totally drunk one night and decided to jerk off while I

was

> lying right next to him. That troglodyte was the foulest

> thing I ever had the misfortune of meeting. Cease and I

> always manage to find the most repulsive creatures with

> dick then sleep with them in the hopes that they will

turn

> into a prince charming come morning.

>

> Nine vodka Seven-up's for me and I was feeling frisky. I

> was talking to Ken, a pharmaceutical rep and realtor in

> Manhattan. C.C. killed time with his friend, some short

> little weasel with no name because she forgot to ask.

She

> kept drinking her vodka tonic's to ease her woes after

> meeting another yuck male. C.C. tore open a second pack

of

> cigarettes. John Doe was seriously pissing her off.

> "Kate, you ready to get out of here? I'm leaving and

> you're coming," she slurred. "What? I don't care, yep,

> don't worry Ken, I'll call you," I lied. Out the door,

> into a cab, practically home and under the covers. I'm

> spinning. God, the hangover...

>

> She kissed me. C.C. was kissing me. Mmm, minty

cigarette

> breathe. Wait, she's kissing me -tongue, oh-my-god,

> tongue. Ok, I'll just go with the flow, play it by

ear...

> besides, we're not lesbians, it's not like we'll sleep

> together.

>

> Getting out of the cab is a blur, walking up to C.C.'s

> apartment, another blur. Getting completely naked, not a

> blur. Two women who know precisely how they want to be

> touched, loved and ravished - it made the entire moment

> completely natural. There was nothing awkward about it;

I

> think it was truly a beautiful experience because we were

> two completely comfortable creatures playing with each

> other's bodies.

>

> Four in the morning and my head is pounding. I'm still

> naked and very much sober. "Cease, get up, I need Aleve

> and water, I'm going to die," I moaned. "Where are my

> panties?" We had passed out on her twin-sized bed after

a

> night of girl sex. She got up, naked, found a t-shirt

and

> stumbled into the kitchen. I think I followed her with

> nothing on, I can't remember. We fell back asleep only

to

> wake up semi-clothed, this time with a minor headache and

> an even more sober sense of reality. Oh God, we're going

> to have to have the talk (something usually reserved for

> the random men in my life).

>

> "I think it's something we needed," she said. "I just

got

> tired of meeting crap men at bars and when we were riding

> home together, I thought f--- this, I'll kiss Kate."

> That's why she seduced me. No men in New York City.

C.C.

> simply wanted familiarity, the touch and passion that can

> only come from someone who deeply cares and respects you.

> She and I have lived in the Big Apple for over a year and

> neither one of us has yet to meet a guy who would open

the

> door for us, carry us over a rain puddle (oh yes, I once

> saw this done) or simply say "you look beautiful this

> morning." Guys has it ever occurred to you that women

like

> to be wooed? A little charm and grace will probably get

> you passed the, I'll-call-you hurdle.

>

> Hey New York, there are four million women in the city.

> Cut that in half and you've got the number of straight

> women in town. Take another half and you have the

> moderately attractive group. Whack that, and what are

you

> left with? The straight lesbians.

[xlr8ted]

Come'n, we need to make the posts "add sensitive"

[funkyfreshdc]

Originally posted by xlr8ted

Come'n, we need to make the posts "add sensitive"

don't worry it was stupid anyway

[dgtlfnk]

So, she's saying that 50% of NY's men... are gay?

That's bullshit.

And if it IS true.. then serves you right you dumb bitch. Why don't you move somewhere where the numbers are at least a LITTLE bit more in yer favor. Sheesh.

"Oh.. but NY is the GREEEAAAAATEST city in the world!!"

:blah:

Yer right... this was stupid.

... funk... out.

[shroomy]

guys.... its called satire. and dont worry, no one thinks your gay.

gay men usually are inteligent and have style

[chris817]

Originally posted by shroomy

guys.... its called satire. and dont worry, no one thinks your gay.

gay men usually are inteligent and have style

Thank You

It was just a story a girl sent me she wrote for class

i thought it was an interisting take on a girls first time experience hooking up with another girl

[djinergy]

i should move to new york. seems the odds would be in my favor. or dupont circle (dc)....

[funkyfreshdc]

Originally posted by djinergy

or dupont circle (dc)....

the odds are in your favor if you're gay. move to g-town for girls.

[djinergy]

nah the odds would TOTALLY be in my favor in Dupont! i'd be like the only straight man there.

[funkyfreshdc]

Originally posted by djinergy

nah the odds would TOTALLY be in my favor in Dupont! i'd be like the only straight man there.

wrong -- when i first moved to DC i lived in georgetown, there are chicks everywhere and its completely normal to meet random ppl at the safeway on wisconsin ave. now i live in dupont and everyone's gay or old.