calebb Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 "No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jaad." "Nayanajaad!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Tom Smykowski: It's a "Jump to Conclusions Mat"! You see, you have this mat, with different CONCLUSIONS written on it that you could JUMP TO! Michael Bolton: That is the worst idea I've ever heard! Samir: Yes, this is horrible, this idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Samir: No! Not again! Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam! I swear to God one of these days I'm just going to kick this piece of shit out of the window. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Milton: Well... I... I told Bill that if Sandra's going to listen to her headphones while she's filing, then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating.Peter: Uh huh.Milton: So I don't see why I should ...Peter: OK.Milton: ... have to turn down the radio.Peter: Yeah, alright.Milton: I enjoy listening to my radio at a reasonable volume.Peter: Thanks... Milton. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fouroneone Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Sorry for the late review.First we would like to thank everyone that came out to XL this past Friday. We were at FULL capacity by 12 and the crowd didn't stop coming through. Big thanks to Estabon for setting the evening just right with his soul-full house and progressive set. By 12 lights were off and came on to Matt Mango and Estabon for their percussion set. Pounding their fists to the conga's and drums taking the night to a different level. Afterwards Unique came and took the night away with the best of hip hop, house, 80's, & Rock. Great set guys, great set !!! Over all of the night the ratio to for women was way over the men and the trend of this crowd simply amazed everyone. So glad to meet so many people from all the websites for their support. Also like to thank Shane and his crew from Parademg.com for interviewing and taking shots of the night. Be sure to catch pics and review @ www.parademg.com in the March issue of the opening night of B-Scene Fridays @ XL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Lawrence: HEY PETER MAN! CHECK OUT CHANNEL NINE! CHECK OUT THIS CHICK!Peter: Dammit, Lawrence! Can't you just pretend like we can't hear each other through the walls? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Peter: I think that the guy might actually be able to help. I mean, he did help Anne lose weight.Samir: Peter, she's anorexic.Peter: Yeah, I know. They guy's really good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlr8ted Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 It looks like this Tom Smykowski was laid off over a year ago , due to a glitch in the system he was still getting a check. So we just fixed the glitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Bob Slidell: What.. what would you say... you do here?Tom: Look, I already told you! I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Bill: What’s up, Peter? How’s it going? Uh, we have sort of a problem here. Yeah. You apparently didn’t put one of the new coversheets on your TPS reports. Peter: Oh, yeah. I’m sorry for that. I, I forgot.Bill: Yeah. You see, we’re putting the coversheets on all TPS reports. Did you the memo about this?Peter: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I’ve got the memo right here, but, uh, uh, I just forgot. But, uh, it’s not shipping out until tomorrow, so there’s no problem. Bill: Yeah. Go ahead and make sure you do that from now on, that will be great. Uh, I’ll go ahead and make sure you get another copy of that memo Ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Originally posted by xlr8ted It looks like this Tom Smykowski was laid off over a year ago , due to a glitch in the system he was still getting a check. So we just fixed the glitch. AHAHAHAHAHAHAAH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Dom: Hello, Peter. We need to talk about your TPS reports.Peter: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it.Dom: Yeah. Uh, did you get that memo?Peter: Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. The problem is, I just forgot the time. And I’ve already taken care of it so it’s not a problem anymore.Dom: Yeah. It’s just that we’re putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So I’d really appreciate it if you could just do that. Right. Remember to do that form now on. That’d be great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Bob Slidell: Are you any relation to the pop singer?Michael Bolton: Naw, it's just a coincidence.Bob Slidell: Because I'll be honest with you! I love his music! I do! I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings 'When a Man Loves a Woman'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Michael: At least your name isn’t Michael Bolton.Samir: Michael, there’s nothing wrong with that name.Michael: There WAS nothing wrong with it. Until I was about nine years old and that no-talent assclown became famous and started winning Grammys.Samir: Well, why don’t YOU just go by Mike, y’know?Michael: Hey, why should I change? He’s the one who sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlr8ted Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 http://www.bullshitjob.com/officespace/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlr8ted Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 http://www.bullshitjob.com/officespace/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Milton: I, I don’t care if they, if they lay me off either, because I, I told Bill that if he moves my desk one more time, then, then I’m quitting. I’m going to quit. And I told Dom too because they’ve moved my desk four times. I used to be by the window, where I could see the squirrels and they were merry. But then they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline. They have me staples for the Boston and I kept the staples from the Swingline stapler.Peter: Ok, Milton.Milton: And if, if they take my stapler, I will, I will set this building on fire.Peter: Oh, that’s great. I will talk to you later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomembername Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Bill: (on machine) Yeah, hi, it’s Bill Lumbergh again. I just wanted to make sure you knew that we, uh, did start at the, uh, usual time this morning. Yeah, it isn’t a half day or anything like that. So if you could get here as soon as possible, that would be terrific.Bill: Yeah, hi, it’s Bill Lum -(Next message)Bill: Yeah, it’s -(Next message)Bill: Yeah, hi, it’s Bill Lumbergh -(Next message)Bill: Yeah, it’s me again. Uh, I was away from my desk for a minute. Just checking in case you called while I was gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Originally posted by calebb Milton: I, I don’t care if they, if they lay me off either, because I, I told Bill that if he moves my desk one more time, then, then I’m quitting. I’m going to quit. And I told Dom too because they’ve moved my desk four times. I used to be by the window, where I could see the squirrels and they were merry. But then they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline. (he’s holding his red Swingline) (Camera pans to Peter) They have me staples for the Boston and I kept the staples from the Swingline stapler.Peter: Ok, Milton.Milton: And if, if they take my stapler, I will, I will set this building on fire.Peter: Oh, that’s great. I will talk to you later. I AM LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT ME LIKE IM CRAZY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Originally posted by xlr8ted It looks like this Tom Smykowski was laid off over a year ago , due to a glitch in the system he was still getting a check. So we just fixed the glitch. Bill: Great.Dom: So, um, Milton has been let go.Bob Slydell: Just a second there, Professor. We, uh, we fixed the glitch. So he won’t be receiving a paycheck anymore. So it’ll just work itself out naturally.Bob Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation whenever possible. The problem is solved from here on, then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Bill: Hi, Milton. What’s going on?Milton: I, I, I, I, I didn’t receive my paycheck this week.Bill: Uh, you’re gonna have to talk to Payroll about that.Milton: I, I did and they, and they said -Bill: Uh, we’re gonna need to move you downstairs into Storage B.Milton: No...I...I... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Originally posted by calebb Bill: Hi, Milton. What’s going on?Milton: I, I, I, I, I didn’t receive my paycheck this week.Bill: Uh, you’re gonna have to talk to Payroll about that.Milton: I, I did and they, and they said -Bill: Uh, we’re gonna need to move you downstairs into Storage B.Milton: No...I...I... Bill: Uh, we have some new people coming in and we need all the space we can get.Milton: No...no...no...no...but...but...but...I, I, I -Bill: If you could just pack up all of your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific. See ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Peter: Well, is he ok?Drew: Sort of. He broke both his wrists, his legs, a couple of ribs, his back. But check it out. He’s gonna get a huge settlement out of this. Like seven figures. He’s getting out of the hospital this weekend and he’s throwing a big party to celebrate. I’m thinking I’m gonna take that new chick from Logistics. I might be showing her my O face. Oh! Oh! Oh! you know what I’m talking about. Oh! Yeah. Right. See you guys there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calebb Posted March 4 Author Report Share Posted March 4 Michael: May-maybe we launder the money.Peter: That’s a great idea. Ok, how do we do that?Michael: I don’t know, I don’t know. I don’t even know what it means. It’s something I think, I think coke dealers do.Peter: Ok. Do we know any coke dealers?Michael: My, my cousin’s a cokeHEAD. Samir: Were in deep shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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