deenyc22 Posted October 25 Report Share Posted October 25 These always make me laugh...I think most we've heard of, but some were new to me, so I'd like to share...enjoy. > : FW: Sex tips> >> >> > An extension of the Donkey Punch email.> >> >> > The Teabagging> > The all time classic manoeuvre of tapping your cock on> > a chick's forehead whilst she is sucking on> > Your balls, and uttering the timeless phrase "Who's> > Your daddy"> >> > The Houdini> > Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to> > come, then pull out and spit on her back so she thinks> > that you have. When she turns around a blast> > is unleashed into her face and she is left shocked and> > amazed, wondering how you managed it.> >> > The Angry Dragon> > Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's> > mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out> > her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an> > angry dragon.> >> > Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch> > The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy> > load down the back of a girl's throat and then> > proceeding to give her a large cold bottle of> > your favourite carbonated drink, making her guzzle it> > down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth> > to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping> > effect. A great way to impress your friends.> >> > Dirty Sanchez> > A time honoured event in which while laying the bone> > doggy-style, you insert your finger into her asshole.> > You then pull it out and wipe it across her> > upper lip, leaving a thin shit moustache. This makes> > her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.> >> > The Donkey Punch> > Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you> > cum, you stick your dick in her ass and then punch her> > in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will> > stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will> > constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic> > experience when you ejaculate.> >> > The Flaming Amazon> > This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When> > you're screwing some chick, right when your about to> > cum, pull out and quickly grab the nearest> > lighter and set her pubes on fire, extinguish the> > flames with your jizz!> >> > The Flying Camel> > A personal favourite. As she is lying on her back and> > you are hammering her on your knees, you very> > carefully move forward and prop yourself (without> > using your arms) on your dick while it is still> > inserted in her vertical seafood taco. You then> > proceed to flap your arms and let out a long> > shrieking howl, much like a flying camel. Strictly a> > classy move.> >> > The Screwnicorn> > When you get a dyke to put her strap-on dildo on her> > forehead and proceed to go at her partner like a> > crazed unicorn.> >> > The Zombie Mask> > While getting head from your favourite, unsuspecting,> > trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look> > right up at you with those "pretty little> > eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're> > ready to spew a good week's worth of goo, blast that> > hefty load in both eyes. This temporary> > state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as> > she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched,> > and moaning like the walking dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azankel Posted October 25 Report Share Posted October 25 Dee-Thats the funniest shit i've seen in weeks.Thanks for the laugh.Andy------------------Lets Go METS!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deenyc22 Posted October 25 Author Report Share Posted October 25 *Bump* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eggmok Posted October 25 Report Share Posted October 25 owww . . .my stomach hurts from too much laughter . . .------------------Life is too short to be small. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowchaser Posted October 25 Report Share Posted October 25 LMFO! Thanx Dee, I needed that one.------------------"Oh my god, that's the funky shit!" shadowchaser076@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungee Posted October 25 Report Share Posted October 25 LMAF...------------------What da..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkFloyd40 Posted October 25 Report Share Posted October 25 HAHA good shit LMAO!!!-Rob-------------------BRING BACK FRANK ALVEE-"And thus they give the time, that Nature meantFor peaceful sleep and meditative snores,To ceaseless din and mindless merrimentAnd waste of shoes and floors." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missincognito Posted October 25 Report Share Posted October 25 That was hilarious! ------------------*~**~*~**~ I'm an angel... my halo is only crooked sometimes ~**~*~**~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deenyc22 Posted October 25 Author Report Share Posted October 25 i have another, i'll post it later...glad you enjoyed, and to any of you sick fucks that try this shit, NIIIIIIIIIIIICEpeaceDee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noiseboy Posted October 25 Report Share Posted October 25 what about cleveland steamers??felchers and gangbangers and guzzlers, oh my! ------------------i am the gatekeeper. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DollaBill Posted October 25 Report Share Posted October 25 ROFLMAO you are absolutely brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandie Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 i'm sorry, but even i was laughing at that. luv,brandie------------------"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."**NEW EMAIL!!** brandie@powerpuff.com AIM: loves2coxi love Rob *always&forever* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deenyc22 Posted October 26 Author Report Share Posted October 26 Originally posted by brandie:i'm sorry, but even i was laughing at that. luv,brandiedon't be sorry, it's cool to see some chicks can take a joke....glad y'all enjoyed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gofastman Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 That was great... The zombie mask...LMFAO!!!ThanksGoFastMAn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divalicious Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 ahahaha, those were funny.but i have to say, if a guy tried to do those things to me, i'd drop kick his ass!------------------ Peace Love Happiness y'all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rj752000 Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 that was hilirious....thanks!! ------------------"Come closer to the speakers so I can see the light in your eyes..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sneha Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 Fuck you Dee! Don;t you have any respect for women??? j/k...------------------Silently whispering when my heart wants to scream... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n-liven Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 That has to be the funniest shit I've read in a month..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deenyc22 Posted October 26 Author Report Share Posted October 26 Originally posted by sdm1976:Fuck you Dee! Don;t you have any respect for women??? j/k...i treat all the bitches wit rixpect...why, you down for a little donkey-punch action??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sneha Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 Originally posted by nycedee: i treat all the bitches wit rixpect...why, you down for a little donkey-punch action??? Maybe...heehee------------------Silently whispering when my heart wants to scream... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alrousasa Posted October 27 Report Share Posted October 27 Cum guzzling sperm burping bitchThat had me rollin!------------------ Pleasure is the only thing to live for............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deenyc22 Posted October 27 Author Report Share Posted October 27 wanted to bump this one final time! HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.See yall at twilo tonight! 6AM powerbar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boa_boy Posted October 27 Report Share Posted October 27 THat's the funniwst thing I've read in ages! ------------------ coming to party with you - when my H1 comes thru!------------------> boa_boy@yahoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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