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Walmart


HAZE

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Wal-Mart

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack

says to Mike behind him,

"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see

a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of

money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.

Just give it a urine

sample, and the computer'll tell you what's

wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...

it's a lot cheaper than a

doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar

and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights

up and asks for the urine sample. He pours

the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a

printout: "You have tennis elbow.

Soak your arm in warm water and avoid repetitive

activity. It will improve in two weeks."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new

technology was, Jack began

wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a

stool sample from his dog,

urine samples from his wife and daughter,

and masturbated into the mixture for good

measure.

Jack hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to

check the results. He deposits

ten dollars, pours in his concoction,

and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water

softener - Aisle 16.

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with

anti-fungal shampoo - Aisle 23.

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her

into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't

yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your

elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.

:funny::laugh::funny::laugh:

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:laugh::laugh::laugh:

Wal-Mart

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack

says to Mike behind him,

"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see

a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of

money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.

Just give it a urine

sample, and the computer'll tell you what's

wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...

it's a lot cheaper than a

doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar

and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights

up and asks for the urine sample. He pours

the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a

printout: "You have tennis elbow.

Soak your arm in warm water and avoid repetitive

activity. It will improve in two weeks."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new

technology was, Jack began

wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a

stool sample from his dog,

urine samples from his wife and daughter,

and masturbated into the mixture for good

measure.

Jack hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to

check the results. He deposits

ten dollars, pours in his concoction,

and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water

softener - Aisle 16.

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with

anti-fungal shampoo - Aisle 23.

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her

into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't

yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your

elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.

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