divette Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 I have a serious questions:My Ex and I just broke up after 3 1/2 years of being together. We still want to remain friends, because we are best freinds...but we dont know if that's gunna be possible.We are already talking about other people getting involved and other relationships and how would we be able to deal with that.INFO! PLEASE!!!Thanks!D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTC1001 Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 I think it all depends on the people involved. Some people cant deal with the fact that the one that they Love or Loved is gonna be with someone else. It also depends on how the two of you left off..Good or Bad...Sorry to hear you two broke up.... ------------------Howz Ya BOX?Like a Biskit.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bre5379 Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Hey sweetie! What happened? I thought you guys were just gonna take a break. Every time I tried to be friends it didn't work. But it depends on the relationship you have. The thing that would worry me is him being with other people. That would hurt me too much knowing or hearing about it. I hope everything works out!!Breann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Okay if you were not friends before dating then the probability of you being friends after the relationship ending is slim to none. I tried being friends with my ex many times and he kept playing serious mind games with me to pull me back into his life on a "dating basis". If you really want to be friends, maybe consider not speaking to one another for a while and then meet up again.I guess it really depends on the people involved. Hope it helps ya even a smidge!------------------ "Love is friendship set to music." ...E. Joseph Crossmann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ibhugh Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 One of my best friends in the world is an ex. My only suggestion is to take some time off from each other. I have tried to be friends with ex's immediately after the relationship ended and they always turn to crap because everyone's feelings/wounds are still so fresh. The ex that I am friends with didn't really talk for about a year and a half. Not saying that it has to be that long for you, but I would at least suggest a month or two. It can work, but you really need that separation to get all your ducks in a row. Make sure that you're feelings for the person don't get confused. Esp. if you are concerned about how you would feel about each other dating other people. Divette, PM if you want some more info. I have gone through that several times and had it succeed only once, but it was a method that worked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divette Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 Well, he broke up with me, because he lived in the past.I still love him dearly, and I know he still loves me..but we needed time apart (relationship).We didn't leave off on bad terms, we're still talking as friends. But niether one of us know , how we are going to handel each other being with other people.It hurts to have lost him as a boyfriend, but it hurts even more to have lost him as a friend. Because we are best friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DINO nYc Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 You need to stay away from each other for a while. Isolation is key! Helps you get over any mixed feelings if they are still there. I dated this girl for four years and we had a messy break up. I didn't see her or speak to her for two years and now we are the best of friends. I'm not sure if this is the solution you are looking for but it worked out better in the long run for my friend and I. Good luck.------------------The only difference between a saint and a sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.....Oscar Wilde Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdogg Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 I am friends with my ex. I still hang out with her, from time to time. It took about a year for things to settle down to be where I can be there with her new B/F. ------------------JDogg Revenge is a dish best served with an appetizer of whoop-ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinergygrl Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 It is really hard to say because we are all so different. Most of my x's I am not friends but it is because I realized what jackass' they were and that is the main reason we didn't date anymore so they wern't people I wanted to be friends with. But if you have been dating for such a long time that could make things complicated. You just have to be careful. I know that if my boyfriend and I broke up that there would still be some feelings there and if put in the situation neither one of us would have the will power not to sleep together again. That could really screw someone up. Not to mention if you stay good friends you are both going to be talking about who is dating who now and all that stuff. So if you want to keep a freindship you have to be very open about the things that hurt you. I wish you my best. -SIN------------------I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkFloyd40 Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 possible for some, but not for all. depends on whetehr your both ready to move on or not and when it comes down to it, if either of you can stand to see the other w/ someone else.-Rob------------------"No sane man will dance" - Cicero - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divette Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 Thansk so much guys!It's so hard to have him completly outta my life all at once. But at the same time, I can't handel him being with someone else right now, cause I still love him.Maybe in a month I'll be able to have my feelings in order more and vice vera. It's hard cause we're both saying we dont know what the future hold for us..getting back together or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petp Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 my ex is still my best friend. in my case when we broke up we didnt speak for almost a year, then when one day we see each other out of the blue, and we've been best buddies ever since. i would say my case is the exception though, i rarely find ex's that are still friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divette Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 The people that have remained friends with thier ex's..did old feelings come back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 I tried that but it didn't work. I think if the breakup was mutual, then it's easier. But in my case, even if we were friends before going out for years (3 years in one case), it was impossible to continue the friendship for a number of reasons. One major reason is their new gf's who cannot stand the fact that their bf's talk to their ex's. One girl FLIPS out when she sees me or even hears my name being mentioned after being with my ex for 3 years now!!!!!!! So I dunno, obviously a lot of ppl already posted that it works for them. For me it never worked Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thomaskm1 Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Oh yeah, thats the hardest thing. When its over its over, you have to keep that in mind otherwise it complicates things and drags them out. Sometimes it better to just be friends, sex just got in the way of that. But like all things it depends on the people involved. Be true to yourselves is the best advice anyone can give. ------------------parish...-beat slacker mac- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickijay Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 This is a really tough one, it all depends on the two people involved and what they can handle. When my ex and I broke up we thought we could be friends, but this is impossible if one person still has feelings for the other. It's really painful for that person. I had to end the last relationship I was in and the guy tried everything he could to have a friendship with me but it didn't work b/c I felt like he wasn't moving on with his life and I felt so guilty about the fact that I wasn't in love with him and couldn't give him what he wanted. This turned to resentment b/c I couldn't get rid of the guilt. If there ever comes a day when I know for sure that he's moved on then I'm sure there's potential for a friendship. Situations like these just take time and hopefully you guys will work it all out. I believe in that saying "if it's meant to be it's meant to be".....------------------ Boink like a bunny!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gofastman Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Ex's Are for sleeping with when you are bored, and don’t have any new girls... Sure you can remain friends. The shit that comes out of ex's mouths when you bang them, LOL... One of my personal favorites is: "My, man, doesn’t, fuck, me, like, this" while banging the hell out of her. LMFAO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautious1 Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Don't do it. There's a reason why he/she is your EX now. Spare yourself the drama, and steer clear!!!! If you see the person, be nice, but please do not try to maintain a friendship....all that will come of it is regret, jealousy, hurt and spite.....trust me....I've tried it....DON'T DO IT!!! ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicole212 Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Originally posted by petp:my ex is still my best friend. in my case when we broke up we didnt speak for almost a year, then when one day we see each other out of the blue, and we've been best buddies ever since.I totally agree...I didn't speak with my ex for about 6 mos.We hung out after that, and slowly became good friends. But I loved him as a person, and realized that our relationship failing wasn't either of our faults...Now, almost 4 years later I'm in a serious relationship with one of his best friends!So it benefited me to be patient...Nicole212------------------The music was our teacher...The DJ was our preacher...Now tell me if I reach you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ibhugh Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Originally posted by divette:The people that have remained friends with thier ex's..did old feelings come back?I think there is always the question "What it could've been" in the back of your head, but with time, the heart heals and you are able to be more objective about it. In my case, I have thought about how I felt about her (should we still be dating, or dating again) once or twice, but I would say that the "old feelings" didn't come back, because my heart had time to heal. Although we have not talked about it, I know my ex has thought similarly, but we are both in a space now where we look at the present and not our past feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANTONIOVILLA Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 I agree with everybody in staying away from him for a while........My ex and I have been away from each other for almost a year now and she is constantly trying just to be friends with me......I still and probably will not let that happen because I can't see it happening.......Being away from her taught me that.......Perhaps being away from him will show if you want to be friends or be nothing at all........Good Luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jammy Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 I am still good friends with my ex ...Matter of fact, we hung out this past Sunday! Its all about the terms of:-how you met...were you guys friends first-how you broke...reasons whyI thankfully don't have too many ex's but being single isn't fun ALL the time... ~*Jam*~------------------...I can't see you, you can't see me! ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divette Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 I think time apart now, is what we both need, even though it hurts.I believe that time heals all wounds..and in time, he wil be able to of moved on from the past. I think talking on the phone now is a little too hard. We need space for at least a few months. And then maybe, our friendship will arise again.It;s hard cause I can seperate the two now, friendship and boyfriend..but he can't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmgreenz Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 it can sometimes work, but the relationship is always delicate. If you see or hear them do something that might not agree with you, it's easy to set the relationship way out of balance.For example, I was doing ok with an Ex, but then randomly ran into her one night when she was on a date. Even though I acted cool and no-pressure, I think seeing me caught her off guard and she acted like a freak.Then, not to long after, I randomly saw her at a club (she was rolling), and she sort of freaked again.That was pretty much the end of things. Those two events really put a riff in things that we never got over.my $.02DM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezdreamer Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Fuck EXes... it's about all they were good for...------------------Dream a little dream... then go clubbing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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