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GRADES OF A HANGOVER - - - (got this in an email)


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We all can relate to at least one of the following...

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> >>>> Below is Mozz and Whitey's system of rating the

> >>>> Friday-at-work-post-Thursday-night-capricious-revelry.

> >>>>

1 star hangover * No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a steak bomb and a

side of gravy fries from any truck stop USA.

star hangover **

No pain. Something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but

you have the attention span and mental capacity of a staplegun.

The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating

your rumbling gut, which is craving a rootie tootie fresh and

fruity pancake breakfast from IHOP. Last night has wreaked havoc

on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanor about

the office, you are costing your employer valuable money

because all you really can handle is surfing internet porn and

writing junk e-mails.

3 star hangover ***

Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a

space shot and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag

because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you

did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd you at

1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your

bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball sub watching the E!

fashion awards. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon ofwater,

3 Snapples and a liter of diet coke - yet you haven't peedonce.

4 star hangover ****

Life sucks. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too

quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted

you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking ofbooze.

You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that youmissed

an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you putyour

make-up on while riding the bumper cars) your teeth have

sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style

makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Revere

High, '76. You would shoot your mother for one or all of the

following

1. the clock to strike 6pm

2. the entire appetizer list from TGIFridays or

3. a time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone

out the night before.

5 star hangover, aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell *****

You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually

annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor

is seeping out of every pour and making you dizzy. You still

have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from

brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate

saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that

would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called

in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is bitch about your state - which is a mystery to you because

you definitely don't remember who you were with, where

you were, what you drank and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed, unaccompanied, at your house.

The only thing you can do is smoke a bong hit and pass out.

It's when you wake up a few hours later with a lesser star

hangover that you eat a large pizza, an order of Kung Pao

Chicken, a ham and cheese omelet and a batch of rice krispie

treats.

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"Love is friendship set to music."

...E. Joseph Crossmann

AOL = MadamKittE

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LMAO!!!! cwm27.gif

Been there done that... Unfortunately on every level, alcohol poisoning sucks!!!!!!!

Two lines that I really liked:

attention span of a staple gun cwm2.gifcwm2.gif

and the Dante's 4th circle of Hell -- that is a fairly accurate description... cwm27.gif

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Hugh

a.k.a. ibhugh, Brian Adams

email: ibhugh@yahoo.com

aolim: hugesk8r

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LMMFAOROMFFL!! cwm27.gifcwm2.gifcwm27.gifcwm2.gifcwm27.gifcwm2.gif

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"A man makes his sunshine, and he makes his rain. Look at what you have, and where you are, before you say, "I've had a horrible day" Appreciate what you have, and realize how much others wish they could have that much. Live Life, and LOVE IT!" --Me

"Sometimes there is so much beauty in the world i feel i can't take it. and i feel like my heart is gonna cave in" -American Beauty

K and Erm...there is only one thing to say that will express my feelings about you guys......HAAAAAABUUUURRRBB

No Pleasure, No Rapture, No Exquisite Sin Greater....Than Central Air. - Dogma

"I can walk in straight lines, within my own crooked world" -a drunken Aramis Ponte

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Originally posted by resident:

January 1, 2000: 4-star hangover here. While hurling my guts out (about on the hour the entire day), I've decided to give drugs a shot next time...

uhhh yea me too, same day

not only did i earn the 5 star hangover strictly from alcohol, throw everything else on top of it and not drink water the whole nite at all and start to wonder how i'm still here typing...

mouth so dry it was locked shut and when you try to drink something it fawkin hurts. shit stuck in your throat, radiating alcohol everywhere you go

ahhh ain't it great

smile.gif

-Rob

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"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they never use" -Soren Kierkegaard

"People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little." -Rousseau

"One must learn to be a sponge if one wants to be loved by hearts that overflow." -Frederich Neitzsche 2-Brandie&Rob-11

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