weyes Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 when one feels that s/he is only friends with someone because s/he feels sorry for him/her and wants to help him/her, it's time to end the relationship.case in point: i currently have a friend who keeps breaking up and then getting back together with her destructive boyfriend. during these breaks, she gets drunk and cavorts with male co-workers who feed her lines, so that they can get in her pants, about how they'll beat her boyfriend up. she doesn't see through this; she thinks the world is just full of princes waiting to take care of her. after seeing that she's still desirable to others, she goes back to her asshole boyfriend, 'cause she has so much experience w/ him, it's comfortable, and so much easier than starting w/ someone new. it's like a little kid who breaks a toy car against a wall, gets a new one, then does it again. and again. and again.there are more details that would make the story more clear-cut, but i don't want to make this post 3 pages long...i was closer w/ this girl a while back, but distanced myself some when she started making a mess of her life. i told myself, if i got too upset about someone who constantly asks for advice but consistently doesn't take it, i'd go nuts. i had to detach myself from her and stop actively caring, 'cause it just hurt too much to watch her choose to make a trainwreck of her life, over and over. but i still hung out w/ her 'cause i thought i could help her make better decisions - help her get the happiness i thought she deserved. now i realize she's been incapable of learning from any of her mistakes for 2 years, and it's neither my job nor possible to "fix" her. if i'm only around her 'cause i think she needs help, that's not friendship , that's pity.she's my co-worker, so i'll still have to see her. but i'm going to set boundaries w/ her and tell her that, if she wants to chat, there are subjects (such as her relationships w/ men, and probably w/ everyone else) that are off-limits. i can no longer invest care into someone who doesn't give a damn about herself.tune in tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sancib Posted February 4 Report Share Posted February 4 You are way more tolerant than I Weyes one. I have had family that have been in abusive relationships, I tried to help them only to have it bite me in the ass after the fact. So I follow the strict rule of screw me once shame on you, screw me twice shame on me. I firmly believe if you are not going to be proactive about your problems, then shut the @%#$ up! you have no right to complain then...But on a lighter side have you ever heard Dane Cook do his bit on break ups aka "relationshits" the girl is in a horrible relationship and her friends are trying to convince her to leave and she says "you guys dont understand, it's not that easy to leave him...My CD's are in his car!" Meaning this type of girl is exactly where she wants to be, and doesnt know how to live her life without the drama. Girl you dont need that kind of energy in your life, let it/her go. Move on, and I guarantee that she knows when she's serious about being emotionally healthy and needs help she can call you.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted February 4 Author Report Share Posted February 4 You are way more tolerant than I Weyes one. I have had family that have been in abusive relationships, I tried to help them only to have it bite me in the ass after the fact. So I follow the strict rule of screw me once shame on you, screw me twice shame on me. I firmly believe if you are not going to be proactive about your problems, then shut the @%#$ up! you have no right to complain then...But on a lighter side have you ever heard Dane Cook do his bit on break ups aka "relationshits" the girl is in a horrible relationship and her friends are trying to convince her to leave and she says "you guys dont understand, it's not that easy to leave him...My CD's are in his car!" Meaning this type of girl is exactly where she wants to be, and doesnt know how to live her life without the drama. Girl you dont need that kind of energy in your life, let it/her go. Move on, and I guarantee that she knows when she's serious about being emotionally healthy and needs help she can call you..rock on, sanci; thanks i like that dane cook bit! i'd never heard that. she says things like that, too, about how it's just more "practical" to be together . she brings up how she "can't sleep alone," as though this is an acceptable reason to stay with someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sancib Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 hahahaha, I'd be all like " then rock on wit your crazy self" c ya layta! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted February 9 Author Report Share Posted February 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.