Guest r3nz0 Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 Gotta give it to ya, that's eality not a joke. TEE HEE!!8) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tgibson Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender explains that the bar doesn't have any quackers.The next day, the same duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender again explains that the bar doesn't serve quackers.Sure enough, the very next day, the duck again walks into the bar and asks for some quackers. The bartender screams at the duck, "If you come in here one more time, I'm going to nail your beak into the wall with a hammer and some nails! "A few days pass, and then the duck walks into the bar again.The bartender notices the duck and says, "I'm warning you!"The duck replies, "Do you have a hammer?"The bartender replies, "No!"The duck asks, "Do you have any nails?"The bartender replies, "No!"The duck grins and asks, "Do you have any quackers?" ;D ;D ;DHappy Friday everyone... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Clarisa Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 Ha ha ha. Those are fuuunnyyyy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryan2772 Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 An elephant is walking through the jungle, and he steps on a thorn. The thorn hurts really bad, and he doesn't know how he's going to get it out. He comes across an ant, and asks the ant to take the thorn out. The ant says "ok, but you have to let me do whatever I want to you, and I want to f*ck you in the ass." The elephant is in a lot of pain from the thorn, and figures, what the hell can an ant do? So the elephant agrees. The ant removes the thorn, and then proceeds to the rear of the elephant to reap his rewards. Meanwhile, in a tree above the coupling couple, a monkey witnesses this anomoly of nature. The monkey is quite confused, and begins throwing coconuts at the duo. One of the coconuts strikes the elephant square between the eyes, and the elephant yells out "OUCH!" And the ant says, "take it all, bitch!"btw, great idea for a thread! ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Clarisa Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 Apo, ur not aloud to post jokes like that. I can't laugh out loud in my office ;D ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LeVeL Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 These are more women jokes.......Scientists have discovered a food that diminishesa woman's sex drive by 90%.It's called a Wedding CakeWhy do men die before their wives?They want to.Women will never be equal to men until they canwalk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shannon_coolj. Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 Why can't Bin Laden have sex with his five wives?Because every time he opens their legs, he sees bush Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Clarisa Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hahe he he he. Ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3nz0 Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 A guy is walking past a bus stop and says to a woman "Can I smell your c*nt?" "Fuck off, no you can't smell my c*nt!" the woman yells back at him. "Oh" he replies, looking slightly confused, "it must be your feet then". ;DA little girl goes to see Santa Clause at the local shopping mall. When she arrives and sits down on Santa's lap Santa asks "What do you want for Christmas little girl?". "I want a Barbie and a GI Joe" says the little girl. "But Barbie comes with Ken" Santa says, "No, Barbie only cums with GI Joe!" OH MAN, THIS THREAD IS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Clarisa Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 The husband says to his wife "honey why's this talcum powder al over my underwear drawer?"The wife responds "it's not talcumpowder babes, it's miracle grow." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shannon_coolj. Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 Why do men want to marry virgins?They can't stand criticismWhy are men like laxatives?They irritate the shit out of youWhy did God create man?Because a vibrator can't mow the lawnMen are like... bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.Men are like... lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all thatbright.Men are like... copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Clarisa Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 You're on a roll interview. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3nz0 Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 One night a husband walks out of bathroom naked, climbs into bed, and starts putting the moves on his wife."Sorry, honey," she says, "I have a headache.""Perfect," he says. "I just powdered my penis with aspirin. You want it orally or as a suppository?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shannon_coolj. Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 One night a husband walks out of bathroom naked, climbs into bed, and starts putting the moves on his wife."Sorry, honey," she says, "I have a headache.""Perfect," he says. "I just powdered my penis with aspirin. You want it orally or as a suppository?"Aw shit...renzo, you're going to pay for that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3nz0 Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 Aw shit...renzo, you're going to pay for that Nice! ;DThe last time a girl told me that, I had good times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shannon_coolj. Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 renzo continuing on with chauvanist humor.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3nz0 Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 renzo continuing on with chauvanist humor.... Hehe; it's just jokes. Trust me, I'm not like that at all. Anyone who knows me can attest to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Clarisa Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 renzo, pow pow contigo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3nz0 Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 renzo, pow pow contigoLOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shannon_coolj. Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 renzo continuing on with chauvanist humor.... Hehe; it's just jokes. Trust me, I'm not like that at all. Anyone who knows me can attest to that. i know..all in good fun! i've never met you but i'm sure you're not like that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3nz0 Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 i know..all in good fun! i've never met you but i'm sure you're not like that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryan2772 Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 keep 'em comin:A salesman knocks at the door of a home and it's answered by a 12yr old boy with a cigar in one hand and a half empty bottle of scotch in the other. The salesman asks the boy, "Excuse me son but is your mom or dad in?" To which the boy replies, "Does it fucking look like it?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tgibson Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 keep 'em comin:A salesman knocks at the door of a home and it's answered by a 12yr old boy with a cigar in one hand and a half empty bottle of scotch in the other. The salesman asks the boy, "Excuse me son but is your mom or dad in?" To which the boy replies, "Does it fucking look like it?"That one was great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pod Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 God decided he needed a vacation. One of his aides suggested Venus."Forget it," God said. "I went there 10,000 years ago and got sunburned.Another aide suggested Jupiter. "No way," God replied. "I went there5,000 years ago and froze my arse off". A third advisor suggested Earth."That's the worst," God answered angrily. "I was there 2,000 years ago and they're still accusing me of knocking up some stupid Jewish bitch!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pod Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Aussie, an Abo, a Yank, an African, an elephant, a refrigerator, two blondes, a homosexual, three social workers, a Jew, a crocodile and a kiwi all walked into a bar.The bar tender turned around and said, "Is this some kind of a joke?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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