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Guest cutchemist

joke of the day

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Guest cutchemist

On Election Night 2004, the returns showed Kerry 50% and Bush 50%.

To avoid another Supreme Court case, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the final winner.

The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win. After a lot of back and forth discussion and rules being written and re-written, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote andcold lake in Minnesota.

There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for official counting and verification.

At the end of the first day, Kerry returns to the home base and has has 10 fish.

Soon, Bush. returns and has no fish. Well, everyone assumes that he's just having another bad day or something, and hopefully, he will catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day, Kerry comes in with 20 fish, and Bush comes in again with none.

That evening, Dick Cheney gets together secretly with W. and says "I think Kerry is a lowlife cheating son of a gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way.

The next night (after Kerry comes back with 50 fish) Cheney says to Bush,"Well, what about it, is Kerry cheating?"

"He sure is, Dick, he's cutting holes in the ice!"

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He is another.

An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers;

"Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.

"Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."

The flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up bitch."

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Guest cutchemist

Holy smackaroo. funny TRAY-UP BITCH!! ha ha ha ha ha

;)

A Minnesota woman takes her seat on a Flight departing Minnesota heading for New York....

A second very sofisticated woman takes the seat right next to her and promptly takes out her lap top and begins working...

The minnesota woman says to the other woman

" Hi i'm Marge i'm from Minnesooota....and where might u be from"

the other woman replies "I'm from a place that knows better to end a question with a proposition....."

The Minnestoa woman replies "Where are u from bitch"

got to love Minnesooota women

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