why is it always up to the woman to say no?

[shugabooga]

to sex that is? in all my years of dating/sex/relationships, only one man has said no to intercourse while we were fooling around. he said he wasn't in love with me and didn't want to go there. smart man, right? now why can't more men think this way? he knew that i would get emotionally involved if we went all the way...he was only 22 years old at the time. pretty sensitive for someone so young. we're still friends now and he still stands by this policy.

[rparadox]

Because men never want to say no!

Just kidding. Seriously, I would never even "fool around" with someone that I didn't want to get serious with (in one way or another), so if anything happens, then that means I want it to happen. Therefore, I never have to say no.

[ancientskewl]

I think that women usually wind having to say no because generally speaking, the men are the agressors, and as such they're the ones who are asking.

Other than that I'd have to agree with the Paradox Man: I would'nt fool around unless I had intentions, that way there's no misunderstandings...although, I have been known to tease too much and get into trouble for it.

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"Those who know, don't tell. Those who tell, don't know."

[purplepower]

If I'm already fooling around with a woman, then I must be attracted to her. Therefore, I deduce that it is inconceiveable that I would not want to have intercourse with her. Pure logic.

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"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently." --Friedrich Nietzsche

[shugabooga]

Originally posted by purplepower:

If I'm already fooling around with a woman, then I must be attracted to her. Therefore, I deduce that it is inconceiveable that I would not want to have intercourse with her. Pure logic.

i understand what you're saying, as well as the other guys, but i guess what i mean is, why is it always up to the woman to keep it from happening too soon in the relationship? i mean, it's great when you know it's going to happen, but once you cross that line, there's no going back. the time that you have to get to know one another BEFORE sex is very special too, and building anticipation makes it better. i just always felt like there were other ways to get to know a person other than sexually, but always felt like men were rushing me. does that make more sense?

[phrankadelic]

he said he wasn't in love with me and didn't want to go there. smart man, right? now why can't more men think this way

forgive me if i'm getting the wrong impression, but why does anyone have to be in love to have sex? i mean we're all humans, and we do have sexual urges. what if we don't have a partner? you want to satisfy your urge right? so then that means you have to fall in love to do so? anyone understand what i'm sayin?

i mean don't get me wrong, i'm not advocating sex w/o emotions. just curious on what was written.

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I've got the beat...the one for your mind as well as your feet!

AIM: Phatskils2

[ancientskewl]

Originally posted by shugabooga:

...why is it always up to the woman to keep it from happening too soon in the relationship?

I think that's the issue right there. What's "too soon in the relationship" is relative and subjective. For a guy it's almost never "too soon" for sex.

IMHO.

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"Those who know, don't tell. Those who tell, don't know."

[shugabooga]

Originally posted by phrankadelic:

forgive me if i'm getting the wrong impression, but why does anyone have to be in love to have sex? i mean we're all humans, and we do have sexual urges. what if we don't have a partner? you want to satisfy your urge right? so then that means you have to fall in love to do so? anyone understand what i'm sayin?

i mean don't get me wrong, i'm not advocating sex w/o emotions. just curious on what was written.

he knew i was getting emotionally involved - moreso than he. so he didn't want to take advantage of me. i thought he felt the same way until he told me the truth. i was sad (and horny, damn!), but in the long run, i never regretted that we hadn't had sex.

[laurensomers]

Because when it comes to women, men think with their dicks not there heads.....

[phrankadelic]

Originally posted by shugabooga:

he knew i was getting emotionally involved - moreso than he. so he didn't want to take advantage of me. i thought he felt the same way until he told me the truth. i was sad (and horny, damn!), but in the long run, i never regretted that we hadn't had sex.

oh ok...i know where you're cummin from now. it was all about feelings being taken advantage of. in that sense, then it's totally not right for one to do that just because they want sex.

but if both sides know where they stand on whether or not there are feelings present, then it's ok if it's just about sex right?

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I've got the beat...the one for your mind as well as your feet!

AIM: Phatskils2

[phrankadelic]

Originally posted by laurensomers:

Because when it comes to women, men think with their dicks not there heads.....

you're generalizing there a bit aren't ya?

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I've got the beat...the one for your mind as well as your feet!

AIM: Phatskils2

[rparadox]

Actually, I think men do think with their "head"

Jokes aside, I think that you really get to know someone after you've had sex with them. Most of that initial nervousness is gone, and you can talk and act more freely around that person.

[dragonfly]

Guys can never sit still, and especially can never keep their hands to themselves.They just really are incapable of doing that.

[morpheus_]

i think the ladies are generalizing waaay too much. having turned down a couple of ladies in the past 6 months alone, i think there is a difference between a man wanting to have sex and a man wanting to have sex with the partner at hand..

i'm a picky guy and i sure don't like fooling around with all my close female friends though it has been known to happen for reasons of romantic interest (twice in 5 years).

i guess what i'm trying to say is that a reasonable man (who isn't desperate to have sex) most often makes a reasonable decision with his BIG head whether or not to sleep with a woman.

and come on now, let's be realistic.. around our age groups there are twice as many single women than there are men in this city.. so stay clear of the desperate ones, there's a reason why they don't get any

morph_

[djmikedr]

Why is it always up to the guy to initiate the dam thing?!?!

Common girls you know your just as horny, but nooooooooooooooooooooooo alwasy an excuse. Frickin women's way of control thats all.

[djmikedr]

Originally posted by rparadox:

Jokes aside, I think that you really get to know someone after you've had sex with them. B]

EXCELENT! EXCELENT!!

Didnt see this the first time around.

GIRLS READ THIS

LEARN and UNDERSTAND!!!!!

[b-side]

~IMO~

That's bullshit!

Men usually don't say NO because most of the time the women say NO!Even though she really means Yes (I hate games ).

So for a guy to say NO is very unusual and often regarded and dumb.

I on the other hand, have said NO quite often and I am proud of it. I'm no saint or anything, but I do recognize that my body IS My Temple, and I don't share it with just anyone for any reason. Hell, I did not even have a one night stand until I was 23 (and it was not by choice).

The way I look at it is like this;

If you were buying a used Lexus/BMW/whatever, and you had to choose between two of the exact same models at the same price but one had 10,000 miles on it and the other had 1,000 but the cars performed exactly the same... What would you buy ?!?!?!

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Peace & Blessings,

B-SIDE

"The DJ From Another Planet"™

[laurensomers]

Originally posted by morpheus_:

i think the ladies are generalizing waaay too much. having turned down a couple of ladies in the past 6 months alone, i think there is a difference between a man wanting to have sex and a man wanting to have sex with the partner at hand..

i'm a picky guy and i sure don't like fooling around with all my close female friends though it has been known to happen for reasons of romantic interest (twice in 5 years).

i guess what i'm trying to say is that a reasonable man (who isn't desperate to have sex) most often makes a reasonable decision with his BIG head whether or not to sleep with a woman.

and come on now, let's be realistic.. around our age groups there are twice as many single women than there are men in this city.. so stay clear of the desperate ones, there's a reason why they don't get any

morph_

Okay, I admit I did generalize. But I have a lot of guy friends and most of them do think about getting ass first and foremost and don't really care if its meaningful or not.

That raises another question. If your a guy and you have been friends with a female for a little while - why do you try or want to hook up with her? Its is because they think she's hot or because they might like her a little?

[scaredgirl]

belive me only one time a man said no to me it was last year and I feel like sh..i..t

we spend the entired driving and chatting on the car and he was flirting all the day by the night time I was like a chimeney on fire and when we start to kiss he stop and say no I cant do this MAN!!!!!! I almost beg him

he say no and went to live me to my home

I felt so bad,bealive me never felt like this now I know what man feel when a woman say no .

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Making Love And Having Sex The Biggest Pleasures in This Life. ScaredGirL.

[lozza]

Ive said No two times

[echostar]

because guys are hornballs

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[morpheus_]

Originally posted by laurensomers:

Okay, I admit I did generalize. But I have a lot of guy friends and most of them do think about getting ass first and foremost and don't really care if its meaningful or not.

That raises another question. If your a guy and you have been friends with a female for a little while - why do you try or want to hook up with her? Its is because they think she's hot or because they might like her a little?

to answer your question:

it's because when you spend a lot of time - and LIKE spending a lot of time - with a person of the opposite sex, there is a good chance of some sort of attraction developing between the two of you. in that case one or the other may try and move the relationship further. it has happened a billion times if not more. (or take it from the opposite standpoint: you're not very likely to spend time with a person you don't like much either)

and a little note: we're no longer in high school. "hooking up" with someone is a lame attempt at a no-strings relationship which - we all know by now - is a rare and demented bird indeed. when it comes to getting into something with a friend, it's more likely to be a decent relationship than a half-assed half-baked and totally dimwitted one night stand. (unless, of course, you're an asshole and had intended to fuck the other person from the very start)

so in my experience, some of the best relationships CAN often result from best friends falling for eachother. and in contrast, some of the worst fuck-ups can result from trying to "hook up" with one of your closest friends. it's all hidden in the intentions.

morph_

[laurensomers]

Morph - you are so right...

See the reason why I had that question is because I have started to become good friends with my best friends guy friends from childhood. (We're all finished College and all live near each other now). Anyway, two weekends ago, we were all hanging out at her house and her guy friend Jamie was there. We'll I really didn't pay any attention to him, and my other friend(who has a girlfriend) was over and I ended up sleeping with him and of course everyone knew. Anyway, the next night we were all over there and our friends kept making references that Jamie wanted to "hook up" with me. I know that is such a high school term and it is pretty lame. Anyway, we were completely fucked up and just ended up talking the whole night about our families and stuff. This is not a subject neither he or I broach with just anyone because of all the shit we've each been through. So, we stayed up all night talking and then he was attempting to kiss me and hook up but I told him no. I didn't want him to see me as a slut (which he may have thought since he knew I slept with my other friend the other night). He was being so cute and totally cuddly with me the next morning, after he knew nothing was going to happen (and HE never acts like that). Sorry for the long drawn out story but - I LIKE THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!! What should I do? We are all going out this weekend...

hehehehhee

just had to write that