YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE - Friday, September 8, 2000

[artful]

Originally posted by rachel1997:

ARIES

(Mar. 21- April 20)

A particular friend may be un predictable tonight so take

nothing for granted and you won't be disappointed. If a

financial situation seems confusing to you today don't be

afraid to ask some pointed questions in order to clear up

the matter.

TAURUS

(Apr. 21- may 21)

Tonight will bring a domestic decision that you have put

off; changes in plans are possible. In business today be

sure you are reading all the signals correctly before

you take that important step. Make it an early night and

get some rest.

GEMINI

(May 22-June 21)

A friend comes through for you today in a pinch, earning

your never ending respect and appreciation. Domestic

problems may cause you to have less ability to concen-

trate on the job today but try to put it aside until

quitting time; your job could depend on doing that.

CANCER

(June 22-July 22)

Mixing business with pleasure will pay off big. You have

very good social graces and they will help you in busi-

ness today. This is a good day to shop for a few of

those luxury items you have been wanting. Spend extra

time with the family tonight.

LEO

(July 23-Aug 22)

You will feel inspired at home and at work today. The

redecorating you are doing benefits now from a bargain

you find and your work day runs smooth as silk. Friends

will want to take you out on the town tonight; go ahead

and enjoy yourself.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23 -Sept. 23)

Delay reaching final agreements today on financial matters

best left to a later date. Tie up those loose ends so

nothing can spoil your upcoming weekend with the family

and visiting relatives. Be sure to clear out the spare

room or reserve a motel room for the visitors.

LIBRA

(Sept. 24 -Oct. 23)

Shopping for collectibles or fine furniture is well aspect-

ed today as you are likely to find some wonderful bargains.

Guard against overspending, overspending will be easy to

do on buying impulse items. A good night not to argue.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 24 - Nov. 22)

Try not to cross swords with a co-worker today as you could

lose. Your charm will open many doors for you today that

had formerly been locked tight. Travel for the weekend

would be good now as well as home town activities; boating,

swimming, etc..

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 23 -Dec. 21)

Today you should have no trouble in getting your ideas

across to others. A loss of confidence in someone today

could make you sad but this person isn't worth losing

any sleep over, there are better people in your life to

worry about. Plan a weekend getaway.

CAPRICORN

(Dec 22.- Jan. 20)

Keeping a low profile today will do more for your image

than you can imagine at this time. Working behind the

scenes may not put your name on display but the results

will give you a great feeling of accomplishment. plan

some family fun.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 21 -Feb. 19)

A major purchase may be in your plans and today you get

some good leads. You love it when a plan comes together

and it does today...big time! The person you helped 'up'

is now able to 'walk alone' and you are so happy that

you could almost fly.

PISCES

(Feb. 20-Mar. 20)

Plan a little fun in the sun with the family before all

the warm weather fades away for another year. Procras-

tination could be the pitfall of the day for you if you

start putting off the important things. Remember that

the early bird gets the juiciest worm.

Lies... all lies, I tell you!!

hehe

------------------

<I'm a Fire-starter>

--- When the Artful speaks

[shannah]

Mine's totally on. I'm going to visit the fam in PA tonight and I just got paid so I can go shopping. Every now and then they guess right...lol

[sosultan]

Bravo Gonzo!

[rachel1997]

ARIES

(Mar. 21- April 20)

A particular friend may be un predictable tonight so take

nothing for granted and you won't be disappointed. If a

financial situation seems confusing to you today don't be

afraid to ask some pointed questions in order to clear up

the matter.

TAURUS

(Apr. 21- may 21)

Tonight will bring a domestic decision that you have put

off; changes in plans are possible. In business today be

sure you are reading all the signals correctly before

you take that important step. Make it an early night and

get some rest.

GEMINI

(May 22-June 21)

A friend comes through for you today in a pinch, earning

your never ending respect and appreciation. Domestic

problems may cause you to have less ability to concen-

trate on the job today but try to put it aside until

quitting time; your job could depend on doing that.

CANCER

(June 22-July 22)

Mixing business with pleasure will pay off big. You have

very good social graces and they will help you in busi-

ness today. This is a good day to shop for a few of

those luxury items you have been wanting. Spend extra

time with the family tonight.

LEO

(July 23-Aug 22)

You will feel inspired at home and at work today. The

redecorating you are doing benefits now from a bargain

you find and your work day runs smooth as silk. Friends

will want to take you out on the town tonight; go ahead

and enjoy yourself.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23 -Sept. 23)

Delay reaching final agreements today on financial matters

best left to a later date. Tie up those loose ends so

nothing can spoil your upcoming weekend with the family

and visiting relatives. Be sure to clear out the spare

room or reserve a motel room for the visitors.

LIBRA

(Sept. 24 -Oct. 23)

Shopping for collectibles or fine furniture is well aspect-

ed today as you are likely to find some wonderful bargains.

Guard against overspending, overspending will be easy to

do on buying impulse items. A good night not to argue.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 24 - Nov. 22)

Try not to cross swords with a co-worker today as you could

lose. Your charm will open many doors for you today that

had formerly been locked tight. Travel for the weekend

would be good now as well as home town activities; boating,

swimming, etc..

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 23 -Dec. 21)

Today you should have no trouble in getting your ideas

across to others. A loss of confidence in someone today

could make you sad but this person isn't worth losing

any sleep over, there are better people in your life to

worry about. Plan a weekend getaway.

CAPRICORN

(Dec 22.- Jan. 20)

Keeping a low profile today will do more for your image

than you can imagine at this time. Working behind the

scenes may not put your name on display but the results

will give you a great feeling of accomplishment. plan

some family fun.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 21 -Feb. 19)

A major purchase may be in your plans and today you get

some good leads. You love it when a plan comes together

and it does today...big time! The person you helped 'up'

is now able to 'walk alone' and you are so happy that

you could almost fly.

PISCES

(Feb. 20-Mar. 20)

Plan a little fun in the sun with the family before all

the warm weather fades away for another year. Procras-

tination could be the pitfall of the day for you if you

start putting off the important things. Remember that

the early bird gets the juiciest worm.

------------------------------------------------------------

These original horoscopes are based on planetary aspects and

configurations for each sun sign. Though everyone is unique,

and we are not stereotyped into 12 classes, the general mood

and theme of your horoscope tends to apply to your daily life.

By Michael Thiessen - Professional Astrologer, Astrology Online

[blueangel]

I'm a Taurus. "Make it an early night and get some rest."?? But I can't!! It's PVD!!

BlueAngel

------------------

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."

- W.M. Lewis

[sosultan]

is there anyone on this board who actually believes in this shit??

[rachel1997]

Originally posted by blueangel:

I'm a Taurus. "Make it an early night and get some rest."?? But I can't!! It's PVD!!

BlueAngel

"These original horoscopes are based on planetary aspects and

configurations for each sun sign. Though everyone is unique,

and we are not stereotyped into 12 classes, the general mood

and theme of your horoscope tends to apply to your daily life"

Hey Blue - Sorry!!

BlueAngel for U:

[gonzojournilist]

Originally posted by sosultan:

is there anyone on this board who actually believes in this shit??

THESE ARE THE WHOREOSCOPES I BELIVE IN

Virgo

Aug. 23 - Sept. 22 You are in a very romantic mood. The smell of the green rolling hills has stirred something deep down inside you. There's something about a good sheep that brings out the best in you. It's not exactly the same as a real woman, but it's not ba-a-a-ad. You perv.

Back to top

Libra

Sept. 22 - Oct. 22 There's a lot of work piling up all around you today. Make sure you keep your workspace tidy and organized. One misplaced paper clip can ruin your 'afternoon delight' so, for both your sakes, keep it clean.

Back to top

Scorpio

Oct. 22 - Nov. 22 You just crave attention. It's time to start on your 'pornographic manifesto'. Title it, "Fuck 'Em All, Let God Sort 'Em out!" Outline your struggle with infidelity, and those damned rubber contraceptives. When you are done, write your phone number on it, and nail it to the door of the nearest abortion clinic. Your phone will soon be ringing off the hook!

Back to top

Sagittarius

Nov. 22 - Dec. 21 You are in very competitive spirits today. Why not take in a cockfight? Sure it's senseless and brutal, but it's steeped in the tradition of the American Southwest. All that smoke and feathers can be very exciting. Just don't get too excited. Remember last time? Fourteen stitches in your scrotum is no way to spend your winnings.

Back to top

Capricorn

Dec. 21 - Jan. 20 Travel and learning are in your forecast today. Tie your pet's leash to the back of your car and then go for a ride in the country. Oh, and don't forget to set your mileage meter. You want an accurate reading this time!

Back to top

Aquarius

Jan. 20 - Feb. 19 A new business may not be working out like you thought it would. Nobody said hamster farming would be easy. Of course, the payoff would be a lot bigger if you didn't keep stuffing all the profits up your ass. Think of all those poor innocent rodents, fattening themselves up with the hope of being some little girl's pet, only to die a slow, smelly death in your rectum. How could you?

Back to top

Pisces

Feb. 19 - March 20 Today is the day to reassess your investments. Dump that Firestone stock pronto, but keep the tires on your Explorer. They might be worth something someday, just like that case of Pepsi-One and your Welcome Back Kotter trading cards. Besides, you wouldn't want to waste a pair of perfectly good tires, would you?

Back to top

Aries

March 20- April 19 Today is a good day to start a new partnership. Why not try being a bookie? There's a vacant pool-hall down the street for rent. You can use it as a front for your operation. If you act fast, you can be set up in a week. There may be some competition in the neighborhood already, so pack plenty of heat. I'm sure you'll make a killing!

Back to top

Taurus

April 19 - May 20 Is your love life boring? Do all your relationships seem dry and meaningless? I've got just the thing to spice up your nights. Try beating off with your left hand for a change. It really does feel like someone else!

Back to top

Gemini

May. 21 - Jun. 21 You are feeling nostalgic for old friends today. Things just haven't been the same since you got married. Why not show your wife those old bachelor party photos? You can re-live the moment when the stripper shot pig-pong balls into your beer mug. Revel over your victory in the whipped cream race. You two will laugh together for hours!

Back to top

Cancer

June 21 - July 22 Today is your day to enter the forbidden. Call up that sexy aunt of yours who was eyeing you at the last family function, and ask her out for drinks. Afterwards, take her home and give her a bit of the old ruff and tumble. Maybe you can invite her to a funeral next month, after your mom dies.

Back to top

Leo

July 22 - Aug. 23 There's a lot of digging to do today. The body in your basement is starting to stink. Cut it into pieces, put them in some freezer bags, and bury them deep where no one will ever find them. Remember, before you dig, call Miss Utility. It's the law.

------------------

When the going gets weird

the weird turns pro...

[blueangel]

Awwwwwwwww . . . thanks Rachel!!

BlueAngel

------------------

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."

- W.M. Lewis

[rachel1997]

gonzojournilist-

LMAO!! Where did you get that one from???

[Guest crystalmethodny]

Mine is definitely not true, I do not feel all that inspired at work today.

-Steve

------------------

"We're going to build things up slowly... are you with me? Here we go."