resident Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Addendum to my previous message: must we all whine and moan about our social mishaps? Look, it's all a game! You go and play, and if you lose, you go and play another one. Just don't let your soft side show, cause then it's gonna hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 I think CM made a valid point that NO BODY in here or out there is perfect. There is no such thing as perfection. Like misskittie, there are a lot of people who have a list of who they want in their life and when somebody doesn't fit that list or does something to contridict that list then we say . . . "OH MY GAWD . . . HOW COULD HE/SHE?? I think the trick is to not point out his/her faults alone.In my personal experience, a failed relationship is usually because of TWO people. Whether somebody cheated on another or whatever have you . ..even if you played a minimal fault role . . . it takes two to tangle. Even if you got burned . . . you got burned cause you allowed yourself to get burned.All these people on here that says they trust or WANT to believe . . . well that may make you a nice person but it also makes you very naive. Like CM said, there is no perfection but people that learn and strive to learn from their mistakes are a lot closer than those who just ignore their experiences and makes the same mistake over and over again. Trust is not something that's thrown to anyone that rings that door bell or knocks on your door. It's something that's earned.djrman, you say that you're nice and that you're a good guy to your girl, but how long have you known her? How long have you guys been together? You guys can't expect girls to just throw trust your way just cause you say you're one of the good ones. And vice versa.Because "TRUST" is such a sensitive element . . . it has to be hard earned and cherished. And if some of you find that you just can't seem to trust the girl/guy that you've met recently (CM!!) then maybe it's perhaps cause they haven't done anything to gain it. Right?BlueAngel------------------"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by again?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gatito Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Originally posted by misskittie: I cant find one of those "good guys" that everyone says is out there. Only lowlife jerks flock to me. So now what do you have to say?? Where have you been looking? If you hang out only in places where assholes hang and thats where you are looking for Mr. Right, All you are going to get is disappointment.------------------I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. -BJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 apotheosis - that is just stupid. she probably just meets guys at the local bar. She's bound to find her prince there Her loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keorim Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 I agree w/ blueangel on this one. Although I, too, am often frustrated at girls' apparent guardedness, I have seen too many of my female friends' get burned to not understand that it's a natural, protective instinct. Just befriend the ppl that you're interested in, and show them in an implicit way that you are an exception to the rule. And if they don't get it, their loss. Like blueangel said, trust is earned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowchaser Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Originally posted by crystalmethodny:Perhaps the person you seek is known to you, but, for whatever reason it hasn't been revealed to your eyes as of yet.I found mine.....she's in this month's Russian mail-order bride catalogue. She just wants an American man to show her the wonderful things America has to offer and wants to see Dodgers stadium. ------------------"There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart."shadowchaser076@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 shadowchaser - you're one lucky man! everyone, see, true love is not impossible!!! on a serious subject though, i feel so bad for those women.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezdreamer Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Originally posted by jamjimvin:Why do some guys not like eye contact? I am starting to think that they have something to hide. I would look at someone and then they look back then look down quickly as if I am about to harm them. If you are a guy there is no reason to be shy to women.Too much eye contact and some woman consider that staring. Too much staring and they consider that stalking.Can't flirt at the office, sexual harrassment suits, can't flirt at a bar, everyone else thinks everyone else is an asshole. Everyone is like no, not me, I'm not meeting the love of my life at a bar or a club.How many people have said the wrong thing at the wrong time or not said the right thing at the time they should have.I say everyone is looking for the same thing. Practice makes perfect. Relax and go with the flow, with a bit of luck you usually get exactly what you are looking for. And no one is a total asshole or totally nice, a combination of both usually.------------------Dream a little dream... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marjorie Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 My take on men is that most of them are like sheep... They need to be tamed and trained...Most men are just looking for the p...y at first. If you wanna get em, ya gotta get them whipped to fall in love, then treat them like you're not really into them (at least not as much as they're into you). It really is all about the "Game", and how well you can play it. Shit I've been playin the same game for the last two years now, and ya know what? I'm winning, always have and always will. And after that, the ball is your court Sista, and you run the show.Gentlemen, I would like to re-iterate: this statement applies to MOST men, not all men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest crystalmethodny Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 I appreciate the disclaimer, Exec.------------------"We're going to build things up slowly... are you with me? Here we go." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowchaser Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Originally posted by executress:My take on men is that most of them are like sheep... They need to be tamed and trained...Most men are just looking for the p...y at first. If you wanna get em, ya gotta get them whipped to fall in love, then treat them like you're not really into them (at least not as much as they're into you). It really is all about the "Game", and how well you can play it. Shit I've been playin the same game for the last two years now, and ya know what? I'm winning, always have and always will. And after that, the ball is your court Sista, and you run the show.Gentlemen, I would like to re-iterate: this statement applies to MOST men, not all men.Maybe if you stop playing the game, you'd find the "one". ------------------"There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart."shadowchaser076@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artful Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Why continue the whole relationship "struggle?"Because it's something you want, plain and simple...Blood, sweat, and tears, if that's what it takes to come out on top...But god dammit.... sometimes I wish there was an instruction booklet... Even if it read like stereo instructions, at least that would be something.Never give up. Never say die.------------------ <I'm a Fire-starter> --- When the Artful speaksHAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marjorie Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Originally posted by shadowchaser: Maybe if you stop playing the game, you'd find the "one". Who says that I haven't found him? The dogs are the ones who have screwed things up for the nice guys like yourself. The dogs are the reason for which girls like myself play the game. Never played intentionally to hurt anyone, but participated in, to ensure that I don't get hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Originally posted by executress: Who says that I haven't found him? The dogs are the ones who have screwed things up for the nice guys like yourself. The dogs are the reason for which girls like myself play the game. Never played intentionally to hurt anyone, but participated in, to ensure that I don't get hurt. Okay . . .that's kinda like the kettle calling the tea pot black (or is it the other way around?). You can't say that you're playing a game and have no intention of hurting anyone. That's so ridiculous!! When the whole purpose of the game is that there MUST be a winner and a loser, right??How about this . . . games ALWAYS have an ending . . . relationships don't always have to have one . . . an ending, I mean. But don't say that the dogs made you who you are . . . you had a lot to do with it too.BlueAngel------------------"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by again?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dzadza Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Originally posted by blueangel: Okay . . .that's kinda like the kettle calling the tea pot black (or is it the other way around?). You can't say that you're playing a game and have no intention of hurting anyone. That's so ridiculous!! When the whole purpose of the game is that there MUST be a winner and a loser, right??How about this . . . games ALWAYS have an ending . . . relationships don't always have to have one . . . an ending, I mean. But don't say that the dogs made you who you are . . . you had a lot to do with it too.BlueAngelBlueAngel - you're the best ------------------May be one day I'll be an honest man... Up till now I do the best I can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sf97 Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 the truth is that all guys/girls think they are "good guys/girls" as big of an asshole as they might be, in our own eyes we are the good ones. The original posts proves it. (I forget his name ) According to him he is the good guy and all the girls he meets are the bad ones who don't want a good man.please!------------------DON'T KNOCK IT ````````TILL U ROCK IT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezdreamer Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Originally posted by artful:Why continue the whole relationship "struggle?"Because it's something you want, plain and simple...Blood, sweat, and tears, if that's what it takes to come out on top...But god dammit.... sometimes I wish there was an instruction booklet... Even if it read like stereo instructions, at least that would be something.Never give up. Never say die.I think there are instruction booklets. Men are from Mars and... plu all the woman giving the wrong advice on woman's mags, what to do about a guy in every aspect, from cradle to grave. The problem is we got too much stuff out there. Confuses the hell outta people, mostly us. Women have been getting the wrong advice beginning with Eve.------------------Dream a little dream... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gatito Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Originally posted by executress: Who says that I haven't found him? The dogs are the ones who have screwed things up for the nice guys like yourself. The dogs are the reason for which girls like myself play the game. Never played intentionally to hurt anyone, but participated in, to ensure that I don't get hurt. "The dog made me do it" -Son of Sam------------------I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. -BJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divalicious Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 what is it with this "game" crap? why do people feel the need to play games? the game is the main part of the problem in romantic relationships. when you're dealing with the heart, you shouldn't play, because somebody's going to get hurt.why is it so hard for people to just be open and honest with eachother? if you like someone, then just like them. and if you don't, then let them know where they stand.dammit, it's really not all that difficult.ok, ok, i'll stop preaching now...------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 We should be like Zebra... stay together for a year then move on.------------------I want to go out blazing not fade away.I can resist anything but temptation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resident Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Originally posted by ezdreamer:can't flirt at a bar, everyone else thinks everyone else is an asshole.Right on. Guys get points against them for just showing up at a bar/club, let alone try to pick up. It's been done, of course (see my post in the "who met bf/gf at a club" thread), but involves working against the odds.I have a much better time just going to a club to dance/have fun with friends. This way I only need two ingredients to have fun - myself and the music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john58 Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Originally posted by sf97:the truth is that all guys/girls think they are "good guys/girls" as big of an asshole as they might be, in our own eyes we are the good ones. The original posts proves it. (I forget his name ) According to him he is the good guy and all the girls he meets are the bad ones who don't want a good man.please!I agree with this. Most people play both roles during their life (good person/bad person). Whenever one person is more into a relationship than another, the person on the short end gets hurt. Women who say all guys are assholes seem to forget about the guy who kept calling and was really sweet but wasn't handsome enough for them. Guys who say all women suck seem to forget about that really cool girl they stopped calling because she wasn't hot enough. Most people are capable of a mutually fulfilling relationship, you just have to find people you are on a level playing field with. Don't waste too much time pining away for someone who looks down on you or holding on to someone when you are looking down on them. In the first case you are treating yourself with disrespect. In the second case you are treating someone who cares for you with disrespect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ynicholas Posted September 13 Report Share Posted September 13 Originally posted by divalicious:what is it with this "game" crap? why do people feel the need to play games? the game is the main part of the problem in romantic relationships. when you're dealing with the heart, you shouldn't play, because somebody's going to get hurt.why is it so hard for people to just be open and honest with eachother? if you like someone, then just like them. and if you don't, then let them know where they stand.dammit, it's really not all that difficult.ok, ok, i'll stop preaching now...Preach on girl! Preach on! Can I get an amen from the choir. That whole game thing have to stop. I am starting to feel like NYC is full of a bunch of hurt puppies! Everyone is worrying about getting hurt, but um...Love hurts sometimes people! Its all part of the cycle. Disclaimer: I do not believe all NYC people are puppies, just those that are too bashful to play with the other puppies and/or are worried about being hurt.------------------Per me e arabo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted September 14 Report Share Posted September 14 Originally posted by gatito: Originally posted by misskittie: I cant find one of those "good guys" that everyone says is out there. Only lowlife jerks flock to me. So now what do you have to say?? Where have you been looking? If you hang out only in places where assholes hang and thats where you are looking for Mr. Right, All you are going to get is disappointment.I dont LLOK for guys, prince charming or jerks. I meet guys everywhere...cofee shops, theaters, walking around NYC, clubs, bars, business parties. You name it, Ill meet someone. But part of the problem for me may be that many times Im overly social. If Im not banged up on some type of ileegal substance, Ill strike up a convo with anyone and usually guys take that the wrong way. I think Im just going to wave the white flag and surrender. Im not interested in this battle anymore. ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted September 14 Report Share Posted September 14 misskittie, first of all . . . maybe the whole concept that you have that you're in a battle is the problem. Secondly, how old are you that you're ready to give up ANYWAY?? Are you not 20 or something like that?? And you're giving up already??If you know the problem as to why you're meeting the wrong guys then fix it . . . don't say, "oh well . . . I guess I'll give up."BlueAngel------------------"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by again?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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