Why Cheating??

[blueangel]

Okay, this was a post in the "Sex" section but I'd like to know . . . or at least understand why people cheat??

Why do people find the need to committ to one person and then be unfaithful?? Why get married when you KNOW you're not the monogomous type?? Why hurt someone like that ESPECIALLY your own spouse??

Cheating to me is the worst thing anyone could possibly do to me in a relation ship. I mean if I get physically abused by my spouse then I could hit them back and my bruises will eventually heal, but deception and cheating . . . that's an abusement of my heart and trust . . . and that takes so long to heal.

So, why do people cheat. To those of you who have cheated in your past . . . why did you do it??

BlueAngel

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"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

[sirdante]

cheating is just another way of saying to your other "i dont care about you."

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i love music!

[ynicholas]

Well if thats the case they should be a man/woman and tell their "significant other" to their face!

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Non esco con Tizio, Caio e Sempronio. Forse Caio!

[smileygirl]

Cheating is pointless.

Why cheat when you already have someone in your life who you like/love?

Maybe it's the thrill of seeing if you can get away with it?

Who knows,

I usually have long relationship and at some point i would tell my boyfirend that if you are interested in a certain someone and feel like you want to hook up with her, then break up with me first because i don't want to have a boyfriend who cheated on me.

[shadowchaser]

I don't think there's an easy answer to that....

All the relationships I've been in, I've always been cheated on and lied to. I never got a straight answer from them. I never gave them a reason to cheat. It makes me weary in ever getting into another relationship with a girl.

Don't really expect a truthful answer from a person who cheats. If they can't be honest from the beginning, why would they start telling the truth now?

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"Do you still dream...do you still dream like me...infectious corruptive dreams."

shadowchaser076@aol.com

[brandie]

i already said my piece on this subject - go to the sex board if you'd like to read it.

cheating is f*in ridiculous.

luv,

brandie

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"And those who were seen dancing

were thought to be insane by those

who could not hear the music."

**NEW EMAIL!!**

brandie@powerpuff.com

or

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AIM: loves2cox

[petp]

cheating is just plain ole FOUL in my book. i agree with u 100% blue.

im no angel, i did cheat on one gf about 4 years ago...my first and last time ever. i was confused at the time, having 2 girls tell me they loved me, so i didnt know what to do. i saw what problems it caused when i got caught and the pain i inflicted on both of them, and i swore to myself that im better than that and i would never cheat on anyone ever again....and i never have.

now all these 'players' out there, in my opinion, are probably people who have been cheated on and gotten their hearts broken once, and now they cant trust someone or theyre out to get revenge. or they can just be cruel heartless people who dont give a f*ck about anyone but themselves.

now ive gone out with people who have said from the get-go that they dont want anything serious, and i respect them for that. thats a lot better than leading someone on and then cheating on them. you just dont play around with peoples emotions like that in my book.

-peter

[vampienyc10]

I have a close friend..and for years now I have been trying to figure out how she does it...She had two boyfriends..not fool-around buddies, but actual boyrfiends for a period of 6 years..And to this day she still does it.. She has relationships with these people and their families.. I ask her over and over again and what she says is this...One guy has the money and a good family life but not the looks, the other guy has the looks and the attitude.. That makes no f**kin sense to me what-so-ever..I feel that if you want to be with mor ethan one person , then to set that person free and do what you have to do..get it all out of your system...

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vampienyc10

[india22]

I think some people cheat beacause they've been in a relationship/marriage for so long that breaking up is not even considered whether it is from kids being involved or whatever.

I think the main reason for cheating is boredom and someone wanting to experience something different. When your with someone for a long time its hard to just break-up. And alot of time people don't want to fully throw away a "good thing" as they say, for something that might not be a "good thing", so they just cheat instead of breaking up first and then going out with someone else.

There are plenty of marriages out there with cheating spouses - I know it doesn't make sense for them to get married, but it seems like marriage is expected for us "adults" even if we might not be ready. I have so many guy friends who've gotten married in the past 2 years and they're already complaining. I feel bad for some of my guy friends, because in most of the cases the girls have made demands on being married within a certain time frame or breaking up. I'm sure sooner or later most of them will cheat

For the record I haven't cheated on my current boyfriend and we've been (living) together for 4 years!!

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india222@hotmail.com

[blueangel]

india, everything you've pointed out to one thing . . . cowardness. Not wanting to let go of a good thing? Obviously, if it was THAT good then they won't cheat.

To all the cheaters out there . . . you guys are coward!!

BlueAngel

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"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

[artful]

Originally posted by jamjimvin:

Well if thats the case they should be a man/woman and tell their "significant other" to their face!

It's because they feel the other person is not really their significant other Jammie...

Like say that person marries someone they don't like, but it happens just because they have a kid together.... chances are somebody's gonna cheat.

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<I'm a Fire-starter>

--- When the Artful speaks

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

"Takin' out the suckas, and they don't know how I did it!!!"

[back2basics]

I think most guys cheat when they haven't got the guts to admit to themselves the relationship is over. I don't think there is many relationships that can recover.

Bluangel, I cheated in the last relationship. It was a long, long relationship and I was unhappy for a long time. It wasn't something I thought about before it happened but afterwards it made me realize the error of my ways. I felt trapped for quiet sometime, due to REAL reasons beyond my control. I am not trying to condone what I did because now I probably feel more strongly about it than you.

So anyway I felt trapped, I saw no way out. I was under a huge amount of stress with work, and had been in a relationship that should have ended at least a year before. A girl threw herself at me and I guess because I needed to feel close to somebody, I had sex with this girl.

Then I actually thought about it, decided I had to be honest. Looking back now the next bit doesn't seem to have any reason and seems stupid, but I took a few weeks off to talk it over. We spent 24/7 talking about what was wrong, what I did. We decided(?!?) to get married!! Anyway that wasn't going to work, and we ended up splitting pretty amicably.. it took me nearly a year to get over it all.

I think the first time something like that happens to you, you will never cheat again. Looking back I know what pain I caused, obviously to her, but also to myself and the other girl. It benefits nobody, but I guess at the time I wasn't thinking about that.

I am a better person for it, and would NEVER do it again. I would either sort out the problems or get out, before somebody gets hurt.

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I want to go out blazing not fade away.

I can resist anything but temptation.

[PinkFloyd40]

i just don't understand why people cheat at all i mean if your not gonna be faithful to one person then don't commit,its that simple. i've never cheated on a girl, yet i have been in situations seeing more then one girl at at time, but seeing in the sense that we would just hang out at random, not that i was going on and on saying how i cared about the girl and only wanted to be w/ her and then cheated on her behind her back. beside being totally unfulfilling, it gets played real fast when you realize theres no real connection and is infinitely better having someone who you love and who loves you(love you baby )

bottom line- cheating is ridiculous.

solution-if your not gonna be satisfied w/ one person then don't commit.

-Rob

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"And thus they give the time, that Nature meant

For peaceful sleep and meditative snores,

To ceaseless din and mindless merriment

And waste of shoes and floors."

[NIKILINA007]

i dont think when people cheat they "on purpose" want to hurt their other half. actually, i think that people cheat cause really they want to break up, but are not sure.. and are testing the waters on the other side. i am not saying this is right, but i can see why it happens. it's def not fair to the other person. also, NEW is always FUN. once you have been with someone for SOOOOooOo long, the newness wears off. The new guy/girl are always sooo great.

i sorta just cheated on my now "ex" boyfriend.. my intentions were not to cheat on him. but i met this other guy, and it "just felt right"... hard to expalin unless u have been in the situation. things were not working out for us at all... we had been together for a long time, broke up for two yrs and had only been back together for a few months. when i met this guy he totally melted me unlike anyone every before. i couldnt pass up the chance... i didnt want to wonder "what if" for the rest of my life. i did tell my ex a few days later, and we broke up.

i dont think cheating is right... i have never been cheated on (that i am aware of anyway) so i am not sure how it feels, but i guess it is pretty horrible. but i dont think that everyone that cheats does it with intentions on hurting people.

[JackMeOff]

Originally posted by sirdante:

cheating is just another way of saying to your other "i dont care about you."

I've been trying to figure that out for quite some time now ...I went to one of my friend's wedding back in August knowing that he's been cheating on his future wife for years ...it just didn't feel right ...but I have too much drama of my own to be getting involved in someone else's so I just keep my mouth shut even though I know that it's not right

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[india22]

Originally posted by PFloyd40:

bottom line- cheating is ridiculous.

solution-if your not gonna be satisfied w/ one person then don't commit.

-Rob

Rob,

That is a good solution, but it seems like alot of peeps don't follow it. It seems to me when people get older like late 30's and up they may feel time is "running out" and commit to someone just to commit. Thats when all the problems start!!

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india222@hotmail.com

[djchris]

How about carpet munching? Eatin isn't Cheatin - Is It.

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It's all in the music

[PinkFloyd40]

Originally posted by india22:

Rob,

That is a good solution, but it seems like alot of peeps don't follow it. It seems to me when people get older like late 30's and up they may feel time is "running out" and commit to someone just to commit. Thats when all the problems start!!

yea, i definetly see what your saying b/c that is what actually happens. it would be nice if people would only commit if they meant it, but some people will just never change.

djchris- hahahah LMFAO

-Rob

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"And thus they give the time, that Nature meant

For peaceful sleep and meditative snores,

To ceaseless din and mindless merriment

And waste of shoes and floors."

[blueangel]

Originally posted by djchris:

How about carpet munching? Eatin isn't Cheatin - Is It.

Okay, whateva!

BlueAngel

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"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

[drmso4]

Originally posted by djchris:

How about carpet munching? Eatin isn't Cheatin - Is It.

that killed me, thank for the laugh.

[divalicious]

i had an ex who cheated on me throughout the relationship... i realize through restrospect and experience that he did that because he had something to prove...to himself mainly. he needed to prove that despite the fact that he was an Uuugly mofo (and he was, gosh, i don't know what i saw in him, and it wasn't $$$!!) he could get lots of girls.

when a person is secure, confident, knows what she/he wants and needs, and is honest with her/himself and others, there is no need for cheating.

when a person is selfish, insecure, immature, co-dependent, wanting their cake and eating it too and etc., she/he use those things as justification for her/his cheating.

what is sad but true is that there will always be cheaters looking for the greener grass...

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[mistressbella]

MAN im soo happy someone brought this up Im in the middle of a relationship 2yrs he's my first love anyway there's been some shady things going on i did comfront him and tryed to end it but he would chase me call tell me he loves me cares for me we are always together but i find phone numbers I give him everything ass which i dont mind im not ugly what the fuck so if anyone can help me w/this please.

[bre5379]

Mistressbella, you need to leave him. The way he is thinking is that he will lose the best thing in his life if you leave him. I personally think people don't change. Once they cheat they always cheat. I know people are going to disagree with me but that is the way I feel. I see my father and look at what he did (cheat obviously) and deep in my heart I could never forgive him for what he did to me and my family. I still look at him and wonder. I think if he did cheat then you can do alot better. Nobody deserves that pain. Nobody!!

[blueangel]

mistressbella, here's my cheated on story. I dated a guy a long time ago. We were dating for 4 years and planning on getting married. One year into the relationship I suspected that he cheated on me with his ex. I knew he did. Call it woman's intuition but just knew deep in my heart that he did. I asked him, and obviously he denied it.

I tried to forget about it . . tried everything I could do to start clean slate. But unfortunately the damage was done and for the remaining three years that we stayed together it was like a slow death. My trust for him started to deplenish and I suspected him every chance I could get. And in turn that drove him crazy and made US miserable.

After four years, we broke up . . . actually I broke up with him. Afterwards, I found out that my suspicion was true. That he DID cheat on me.

TRUST is (to me) THE BASE for a good relationship. It's trust that opens up communication between two people. The feeling that you can talk about ANYTHING with one another without going through judgement. Trust is what makes you feel comfortable with him/her and in turn allow you to be yourself. Trust is what comes into play that when you do feel scared that something is going to happen . . . that you trust him/her enough to know that nothing will happen. Trust is EVERYTHING. When my ex broke that trust between us . . . everything else started to fail.

So, my advice to you would be that if you don't trust him then you SERIOUSLY need to sit down and look at this relationship that you have with him. Make sure that you ask yourself if you're getting what you DESERVE. Good luck!

BlueAngel

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"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

[bre5379]

You are so true blueangel. A womans intuition is usually never wrong. You have to stick with your gutt feeling. Trust is what makes a relationship, nothing else.