glowgirl Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 i have to quote someone " out for SELF"------------------Good time had by all!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
infamous1 Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 I was with a girl for 5 years and cheated on her more then once. There is no real "answer" to the question why cheat. Not to justify it, because I know it's wrong, but the best reason I can give is that when your with someone for a long time sex gets routine. I don't care what people say, you have to have a good sex life if your with a person. Of course it isn't the only thing, but it is an important aspect of a relationship.Having said that, somtimes a person (me) could be tempted to cheat, and that person (me again) might be to weak to resist a certain temptation (of another beutiful girl). So why not come clean? I guess for the obvious reason that you don't want to lose what you have with your girlfriend. I know it sounds bad and it is, but you asked, blueangle (I'm also from Clifton, Allwood sec).Yeah, she found out, and we broke up. Still friends though....what a girl, and what a mistake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchris Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 Originally posted by blueangel: Okay, whateva! BlueAngelCome on Babe Smile ------------------It's all in the music Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copleyc Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 I admit I'm a coward. After 8 years with my then bf I moved here to the US for a 2 year appointment, he moved to Spain. tried to keep it going, but I guess the writing was on the wall with our decisions to move... long distance relationship + new, exciting life + lots of singletons = nasty cowardly cheating. No excuses, but I was too scared about losing all our mutual friends, we were both very close to each other's families etc. and just too chicken to call it all off. so I cheated, he found out, we tried to make it work for another year or so, but in the end I was so close to doing it again that I had to admit it was really all over and we split up. In hindsight I can see all sorts of things that were big clues that it was over, but at the time just too crap to admit/deal with them.cheaper than seeing a shrink, this board, isn't it....and yes B2B, hence dirtyslapper------------------ [This message has been edited by dirtyslapper (edited 09-19-2000).][This message has been edited by dirtyslapper (edited 09-19-2000).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted September 20 Author Report Share Posted September 20 Originally posted by djchris: Come on Babe Smile You trying to pull a Clinton on us?? hehe. It's all good! BlueAngel------------------"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchris Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 Originally posted by blueangel: You trying to pull a Clinton on us?? hehe. It's all good! BlueAngelThat was CUTE - But, I did not have sexual relations with Miss Lewinsky.------------------It's all in the music Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeydollaz Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 some people are just horny fucks... u women need to find a good guy like joeydollaz .... !------------------*************************lets go jets ..... ************************* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted September 20 Author Report Share Posted September 20 joey, I found a GREAT guy like blckraven. Thanks! BlueAngel------------------"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 Originally posted by petp:cheating is just plain ole FOUL in my book. i agree with u 100% blue. im no angel, i did cheat on one gf about 4 years ago...my first and last time ever. i was confused at the time, having 2 girls tell me they loved me, so i didnt know what to do. i saw what problems it caused when i got caught and the pain i inflicted on both of them, and i swore to myself that im better than that and i would never cheat on anyone ever again....and i never have. now all these 'players' out there, in my opinion, are probably people who have been cheated on and gotten their hearts broken once, and now they cant trust someone or theyre out to get revenge. or they can just be cruel heartless people who dont give a f*ck about anyone but themselves.now ive gone out with people who have said from the get-go that they dont want anything serious, and i respect them for that. thats a lot better than leading someone on and then cheating on them. you just dont play around with peoples emotions like that in my book.-peterInteresting because I've been in EXACTLY that situation myself. As ashamed as I am to admit it, yes, I'm guilty of cheating myself. BUT, I swore to myself that I will NEVER do it again after that one time and haven't done it since. (3+ years). I honestly cannot say WHAT made me do it... I think I was young, overwhelmed and confused with a lot of different strong feelings. Not an excuse but an explanation. Afterwards, I felt so dirty and low, and the guilt completely destroyed me. I ended up telling my bf because I didn't want him to find out from someone else (he would have eventually found out). The thing that affected me the most was the look on his face when I told him the truth. I could SEE his hea ort break right there and then. The look on his face communicated only one thing - pain.. I hated myself at that moment and swore that I will never do that to another human being. But it's horrible how so many people cheat on their mates over and over and over again. I can't imagine how they can sleep at night and not be tortured inside. They must have absolutely no conscience and no respect for anyone including themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siciliagirl Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 I agree with nikilina and india22! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xmike Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 I was cheating on my g/f two years ago. Than we broke up and we are still friends, but few months ago I found out that my new g/f was cheating on me (how funny?). When I realized how bad I feel inside, I was so sorry about my former girlfriend and I promised to myself that I will never ever do it again.I know I made BIG mistake, but I paid for it. And I am sure it helped me to find out, how important is to be fair and honest to my g/f. I know it changed me completely and I am glad that it happened when I was young. I am sure that similar experience can help you to appreciate the truth (even if it's painful and bitter).So maybe it sounds funny but I think that you can never realize how bad is cheating and lying until somebody does it to you. ------------------We're in this together nownone of them can stop us nowwe will make it through somehow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatima1672 Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 Hello, everyone I'm new to the board. To jump right into this topic, yes peter I totally agree. I have been cheated on before and it does make you believe that falling for someone is not worth it, because your scared of getting hurt like that again, so you become a B***H or a player. I really don't know why people do it. You are just lieing to yourself about your feelings. peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted September 20 Author Report Share Posted September 20 Originally posted by infamous1:So why not come clean? I guess for the obvious reason that you don't want to lose what you have with your girlfriend. I know it sounds bad and it is, but you asked, blueangle (I'm also from Clifton, Allwood sec).But the minute that you chose to cheat . . . you already lost what you and your gf had. That's what I don't understand about cheaters. They THINK they're doing their partner a favor by not telling them . . . or they're TRYING to keep what they had together. But what they fail to see is that by cheating . . . you've already diminished the relationship to nothingness.I don't know . . . In my past when I was in a relationship and found myself being attracted to somebody else then I would evaluate my feelings and break-up before I do anything to lower my self value. And I CANNOT see how lying, deceiving, and manipulating people can make myself feel any good.BlueAngel------------------"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mariah Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 Originally posted by executress: WORD MARIAH!!!!I know who you're talkin about. Won't mention any names though, b/c he's probably reading right now. But the hint is this: " "...lol...Talk about being descrete......You should have just outright skipped the hint and writtien his name out........ your funny!I love ya anyway! [This message has been edited by mariah (edited 09-20-2000).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john58 Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 Originally posted by blueangel:In my past when I was in a relationship and found myself being attracted to somebody else then I would evaluate my feelings and break-up before I do anything to lower my self value. And I CANNOT see how lying, deceiving, and manipulating people can make myself feel any good.BlueAngelBlueAngel, I've read several times that you don't "understand cheating." Yes, cheating is wrong, but I think you are taking something that is complicated and trying to make it simple. i think one reason behind a lot of cheating is that people become trapped. They can't just break it off, so they dabble behind their spouse's back. People in marriage may grow apart, but maybe they are reluctant to split up because of kids, or maybe one is financially dependent on the other. Just because you can't leave doesn't mean you can suppress your feelings. Another situation is this: Both people start out equally attractive to one another, but over time one person becomes repulsive to the other. BTW, I have seen this happen to friends of both genders. Since there is a strong emotional bond, the person who is not attracted anymore is reluctant to bite the bullet. Along comes that handsome/beautiful stranger and then...Another reason for cheating unique to men is that when men become very rich and successful, they seem to like to date women half their age. A quick look through the news confirms this every day. I think it is deplorable, and speak out against this vocally. I told this once to someone much older than me, and he said "well, if you are 63 and worth $50M tell me if you feel the same way then." Another reason is just plain old temptation. Nothing beats the rush of the first kiss. Some people just miss the adrenaline flow. It is analogous to other addictions in that sense.Some people are battling their own insecurities. They are not confident enough to be alone, but are not satisfied with what they have. So they keep hunting, without really worrying about the feelings of anyone but themselves.there's a lot more to say on the subject... but the last thing I would say is that the case I just mentioned can be avoided with a little introspection. If you are young and independent, you should have no reason to continue relationships when you are interested in other people. But the other cases arise due to intricacies that emerge after several years pass by, and a simple "Oops I feel attracted to someone else, I'm outta here" approach might not be pragmatic... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 xmike - WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND AND BITES YOU IN THE ASS. I learned it the hard way also live and learn from your mistakes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted September 20 Author Report Share Posted September 20 I'm not making cheating a simple matter. The only simple thing about it is that it's WRONG. That's the only statement that I have made about cheating. Every single example that you have showed is either because the person is a coward, selfish, digusting old men who have too much money and time in their hands, and people who just plainly don't have any self control.NOW I ask you . .. are those good reasons? Are those GOOD personality characteristics?? DO those reasons justify cheating??I understand where you're coming from . . . there are a lot that's behind the screen that may make the situation complicated . . . however the bottom line is this. Cheating is WRONG and the people that committ them ARE wrong. There's no other ways to put is. You gotta call it what it is.BlueAngel------------------"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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