a little christmas humor!!!!!!!

[reggie123]

> Subject: Holiday Spirit

> >

> >

> > > Dear Santa,

> > > I wud like a kool toy space ranjur > > > for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yeer. > > > YeR FReND,

> > > BiLLy

> > >

> > > Dear Billy,

> > > Nice spelling. You're on your way to > > > being a career lawncare specialist. > > > How 'bout I send you a f@## book

> > > so you can learn to read and > > > write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE > > > can spell!

> > > Santa

> > > **********************************************

> > > Dear Santa,

> > > I have been a good girl all year, > > > and the only thing I ask for is peace > > > and joy in the world for everybody!

> > > Love, > > > Sarah

> > >

> > > Dear Sarah,

> > > Your parents smoked pot when they > > > had you, didn't they?

> > > Santa

> > > **********************************************

> > > Dear Santa,

> > > I've written you for three years now > > > asking for a fire truck. Please, I > > > really really want a fire truck this year! Love,

> > > Joey

> > >

> > > Dear Joey,

> > > Let me make it up to you. While you > > > sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. > > > You'll have more fire trucks than > > > you'll know what to do with.

> > > Santa

> > > ********************************************

> > > Dear Santa,

> > > I don't know if you can do this, but > > > for Christmas, I'd like for my > > > mommy and daddy to get back > > > together. Please see what you can do.

> > > Love, > > > Teddy

> > >

> > > Dear Teddy,

> > > What, and ruin that hot affair your > > > dad's still having with the > > > baby-sitter? He's banging her like a > > > screen door in a hurricane, > > > son! Let me get you some nice Legos > > > instead.

> > > Santa

> > > ********************************************

> > > Dear Santa,

> > > I need more Pokemon cards please! > > > All my friends have more Pokemon > > > cards than me. > > > Please see what you can do.

> > > Love, > > > Michelle

> > >

> > > Dear Michelle,

> > > It blows my f____ mind. Kids are > > > forcing their parents to buy > > > hundreds of dollars worth > > > of these stupid cards, and none of > > > you snot-nosed brats are even > > > learning to play the game. > > > Let me get you something more your

> > > speed, like "Chutes and Ladders."

> > > Santa

> > > **********************************************

> > > Dear Santa,

> > > I want a new bike, playstation, a > > > train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a > > > drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

> > > Love, > > > Francis

> > >

> > > Dear Francis,

> > > Anything else you little bastard?? > > > Who names their kid "Francis" > > > nowadays?

> > > Santa

> > > **********************************************

> > > Dear Santa,

> > > I left milk and cookies for you > > > under the tree, and I left carrots > > > for your reindeer outside the backdoor.

> > > Love, > > > Susan

> > >

> > > Dear Susan,

> > > Milk gives me the shits and carrots > > > make the deer fart in my face. > > > You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me

> > > a glass of Chivas Regal and some > > > Toblerone.

> > > Santa

> > > **********************************************

> > > Dear Santa,

> > > What do you do the other 364 days of > > > the year? Are you making toys? > > > Your friend,

> > > Thomas

> > >

> > > Dear Thomas,

> > > All toys get made in China. I have a > > > condo in Vegas, where I spend > > > most my time squeezing cocktail

> > > waitresses asses, and losing all my cash at the craps table. Hey, > > > YOU wanted to know!

> > > Santa

> > > ********************************************

> > > Dear Santa,

> > > Do you see us when we're sleeping, > > > do you really know when we're > > > awake, like in the song?

> > > Love, > > > Jessica

> > >

> > > Dear Jessica,

> > > You are that gullible? Good luck in > > > whatever you do, I'm skipping > > > your house...

> > > Santa

> > > **********************************************

> > > Dear Santa,

> > > I really really want a puppy this > > > year. Please please please PLEASE,

> > > Timmy

> > >

> > > Timmy,

> > > That whinny begging shit may work > > > with your folks, but that crap > > > don't work up here. You're getting a

> > > sweater again.

> > > Santa

> > > **********************************************

> > > Dearest Santa,

> > > We don't have a chimney in our > > > house, how do you get into our home?

> > > Love, > > > Marky

> > >

> > > Mark,

> > > Firstly, stop calling yourself > > > "Marky," that's why you're getting > > > your ass whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house, > > > that's a low-rent apartment complex you're > > > living in. Thirdly, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars > do, > > > through your bedroom window.

> > > Sweet Dreams!