jammy Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Might be of use ppl ...Please feel free to use as often as necessary:Dear _______________,I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut.I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening come available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified> from the competition:(Check those that apply)1. ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.2. ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.3. ___The fact that our first dining experience to date has left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!4. ___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy" condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.5. ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.6. ___Your constant emailing, shows me you have TOO much time on your hands!7. ___Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.8. ___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.9. ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you.10. ___You have a hairy back.11. ___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.12. ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.13. ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.14. ___You still live with your parents.15. ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.16. ___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.17. ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long term partner.18. ___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.19. ___Somehow I doubt those condoms that I found in your overnight bag were really necessary for a successful business trip.20. ___I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.Sincerely, _________________________________---------------------------------------------------------------Email: ynicholas@aol.comAIM: ynicholas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ooana Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 ROFLMFAO!!!! PRICELESS!!! Thanks for the laugh, my coworkers are now concerned for my sanity!!-Oo------------------"When the soul wishes to experience something, she throws an image of the experience out before her, and enters into her own image."---"You have wings! Why don't I have wings?!"---"Cause you're a boy, silly.""For the Greeks, the hidden life demanded invisible ink. They wrote an ordinary letter and in between the lines set out to write another letter, written in milk. The document looked innocent enough until one who knew better sprinkled coal-dust over it. What the letter had been no longer mattered: what mattered was the life flaring up undetected..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxlea Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 LMAO!!THIS IS CLASSIC!!!!!! ------------------People come into your life for reasons not yet known, keep your mind, heart and soul open.AIM: Xxlea77 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ooana Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 You know the sick part? I've actually had to end a blossoming relationship because the guy talked about his mother WAY too much. I think this form would have made it much clearer just how problamtic that is :-)-Oo------------------"When the soul wishes to experience something, she throws an image of the experience out before her, and enters into her own image."---"You have wings! Why don't I have wings?!"---"Cause you're a boy, silly.""For the Greeks, the hidden life demanded invisible ink. They wrote an ordinary letter and in between the lines set out to write another letter, written in milk. The document looked innocent enough until one who knew better sprinkled coal-dust over it. What the letter had been no longer mattered: what mattered was the life flaring up undetected..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel1997 Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 LOL that's so funny!------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeydollaz Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 hey not funny i got 4 of those this week !------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jammy Posted January 4 Author Report Share Posted January 4 Originally posted by joeydollaz:hey not funny i got 4 of those this week !On what counts where YOU dumped? ~*Jam*~ "igetnoplayanywaysowtf"------------------Email: ynicholas@aol.comAIM: ynicholas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flowwme Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 sent to the printer ...need as refernece.------------------Put the CD in... The Music will do the rest.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxlea Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Just forwarded it to everyone woman on my address book, LOL!! Sadly to say I've had to use all of those excuses some point or other!STILL LAUGHING!!------------------People come into your life for reasons not yet known, keep your mind, heart and soul open.AIM: Xxlea77 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schwingep Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Originally posted by ooana:You know the sick part? I've actually had to end a blossoming relationship because the guy talked about his mother WAY too much. I think this form would have made it much clearer just how problamtic that is :-)-OoOh come on I didn't talk about my mother THAT much...anyways you were always talking about Daddy!!!- Pete ------------------------------------------ Upcoming Shows: ???My new web site...Version 1.04 http://www.naked-edge.com/schwinge.html DJSchwinge@naked-edge.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 LMAO... Def will come in handy some day Saving this one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ooana Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Originally posted by schwingep: Oh come on I didn't talk about my mother THAT much...anyways you were always talking about Daddy!!!- Pete <blinks and ducks her head> Umm..umm...oh damn.;-)-Oo------------------"When the soul wishes to experience something, she throws an image of the experience out before her, and enters into her own image."---"You have wings! Why don't I have wings?!"---"Cause you're a boy, silly.""For the Greeks, the hidden life demanded invisible ink. They wrote an ordinary letter and in between the lines set out to write another letter, written in milk. The document looked innocent enough until one who knew better sprinkled coal-dust over it. What the letter had been no longer mattered: what mattered was the life flaring up undetected..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeydollaz Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Originally posted by jammy: On what counts where YOU dumped? ~*Jam*~ "igetnoplayanywaysowtf"i think it was the " you are way to good looking and nice for a hoe like me " count ... ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jammy Posted January 4 Author Report Share Posted January 4 In that case Joey, you should be happy! ~*Jam*~------------------AIM: ynicholas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divalicious Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Good job Jammy! Now if I could only find a potential Mr. Right (who isn't already taken)...------------------ Peace Love Happiness y'all DivaliciousNYC@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowgirl Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 JammyI'm def going to save that its awesome!Something made me laugh today......thanks!!------------------Hi! How ya doing? where ya been, I had thoughts of you all night long. Can't describe what you did, but you got me so!Aolimer: Glowgirl42000Email: Sugar4@earthlink.net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmikedr Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 I'd love to see the female version.------------------Use email DJmikeDR@aol.comPM way too slow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiloman Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 haha nice i think i just woulda came out and sed to the person im ending it with "welcome to dumpsville, population...YOU"------------------"Your not going crazy, your going SANE in a CRAZY world..." aol sn: kshark81 GO KERMIT GO!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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