RULES THAT GUYS WISH GIRLS KNEW

[flutterby]

[Please note...these are all numbered #1 ON PURPOSE!]

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.

Reall=

y!!

1. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

1. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse

to=20=

answer.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it

do=

wn.

1. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than

s=

hort hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that

married=

women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we

can=20=

find the perfect present yet again!

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer

you=20=

do not want to hear.

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to

disc=

uss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

1. Sunday =3D sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the

tides.=

Let it be.

1. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it

that=20=

way.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do

not=

work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just

say=20=

it!

1. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries

on=

a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd

be=

any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your d=

ress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

what=20=

we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

1. Check your oil. Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In

fact,a=

ll comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us

to=20=

act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways

ma=

kes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.1. Let us ogle. We are

going=20=

to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done

-n=

ot both. If you already know best way how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

commercial=

s.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to

complai=

n about having their boobs stared at. More women should wear Wonderbras

and=20=

low- cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings.Peach,

for=20=

example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also fruit. We have no idea

wh=

at mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading

a=

bility is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like

nothing'=

s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. What the hell is a doily?

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"Hey there you are.

-Do I know you?

No but there you are!"