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I NEED SOME ADVICE


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This is a really fucked up situation..I'll try my best to explain.I have "been" with this guy for over a month now,and it all started with us being too stoned to know what we were doing,and we hooked up.All of a sudden,he wanted a relationship and me being stupid and feeling lonely after a potential dude didn't work out,I said to hell with it,let's do it.After a week,I felt like shit because I really am not attracted to him on all the levels that I should be,and I consider him more to be a friend than anything else.Anyways,I tried to tell him to back off once,but he went and wrote me a sweet letter with a poem and sent me some roses and me being a typical female (fuck I hate saying that,even though it's true),I said maybe this won't be too bad,as long as I don't see him that often.We had already decided beforehand that nothing was going to be serious and we'd just hang out more than do anything relationship-based.Or so I thought.He wanted to take me to the beach,to dinner,to all these places,and I feel bad about doing them because I really don't want to see him in that light.My only problem right now is telling him I can't do this anymore.Even though we're not really a couple or anything,he thinks we are dating.When he said that,I totally tripped out.I don't even see it that way at all.It was just a temporary situation that went haywire and now I'm stuck with not knowing what to do.Has anyone ever been in this position or has any good words of advice I can perhaps contemplate?I'm really in a bind here...I don't want to hurt him,but I also don't want this to continue like this.

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Sassa

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Guest crystalmethodny

End it now, do NOT drag him on.

Its the worst thing you can do.

If it continues, it'll hurt his heart 10x more... trust me.

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"Can you feel it?"

"We're going to build things up slowly... are you with me? Here we go."

CrystalMethodNYC@aol.com

www.extremegroove.com

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Seems like your in quit a situation....if you really arent interested in him that way, you should let him know, just be honest with him....you said its only been about a month, dont let it go any further cause he might really get attatched to you, and then he will get hurt...just be honest

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Honesty is the only true answer here. The more you drag it on, the worse it will get. The worse it will get to tell him, and the worse he is going to take it. You can't go wrong with being honest...but you can with lying your ass off to him everyday (which you are doing).

good luck girl!

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I feel ya! I have to go with everyone else though -- you need to have a talk with this dude. Tell him that you're feeling like you're back where you started (i.e. stuck in something you don't feel right in). Be honest -- the sooner, the better. He'll be hurt -- no way to avoid that -- but why make it worse? Don't prolong the inevitable -- trust me, you won't wake up tommorrow suddenly head over heels over the dude.

Good luck!

- meli -

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I agree with everyone else. Since you aren't into it, and aren't having fun, you should end it fast for both of your sakes.

End it fast, but don't end it bad.

Although this boy is little overbearing and may have misinterpreted the signals you gave him, he seems very sweet and has possibly fallen for you very hard. Someone who buys you flowers, writes you poetry, and takes you to the beach deserves to be let down as gently as possible.

---steviecheeks

ps. or he may just be a selfish weirdo who can't take a hint, in which case DUMP THE SHIT OUT OF HIS LOSER ASS!

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"If ever you realize that what you are watching is, in fact, a play within

a play, sit back, relax, and HOLD ON FOR THE RIDE ON YOUR LIFE!"

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no sense beating a dead horse...but i wanted to chime in as someone who once was on the receiving end of the exact same situation. only, the girl i was seeing let it go on for almost a year. i really wanted it to work, and the presents and flowers and all that stuff kept a very dim flame lit for quite some time. but, looking back, i wish that i had either just wised up a lot sooner or that she just was straight with me from the get go. its the only way to go. after a brief period of awkwardness, we did wind up friends...so it can work out for you. good luck! cwm1.gif

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Well,guys,I really thank you for your help and advice.I talked to him today.I told him I wasn't happy.He thinks I'm psycho and I'm taking this whole thing too seriously,but I guess that's just the way I am.But anyways,he and I are still friends,and he says he still respects me and wants to be cool with me,so I'm happy about that.But really,everything you guys have said really helped as well.Thank you.I love you all.

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Sassa

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First - just end it now and put the guy out of his misery - tell him how you feel!!

Second - why are u posting on the ny page, are new yorkers supposed to be better at breaking hearts than people from cali?lol

I just joking - end the relationship and if he sends flowers - send them back!!

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I put forth a generall inclination of all mankind, a perpetuall and restless desire of power after power, that ceaseth only in death. Hobbes

crobra.bmp

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First - just end it now and put the guy out of his misery - tell him how you feel!!

Second - why are u posting on the ny page, are new yorkers supposed to be better at breaking hearts than people from cali?lol

I just joking - end the relationship and if he sends flowers - send them back!!

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I put forth a generall inclination of all mankind, a perpetuall and restless desire of power after power, that ceaseth only in death. Hobbes

crobra.bmp

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Call me Johnny two times - cause everything I post - I post twice!! lol

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I put forth a generall inclination of all mankind, a perpetuall and restless desire of power after power, that ceaseth only in death. Hobbes

crobra.bmp

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Call me Johnny two times - cause everything I post - I post twice!! lol

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I put forth a generall inclination of all mankind, a perpetuall and restless desire of power after power, that ceaseth only in death. Hobbes

crobra.bmp

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Originally posted by crystalmethodny:

End it now, do NOT drag him on.

Its the worst thing you can do.

If it continues, it'll hurt his heart 10x more... trust me.

Yeh what he said, with bells on.

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I want to go out blazing..not fade away.

Trust in the currency of relationships, it's hard to earn but easy to loose - back2basics

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tell him, liek most other girls, you have fallin in love with me and cant continue with him , cuz u are always thinkin of me ... but hey ! ,.. just dont go stringing me along like that .. when ur tired of me end it right away ! ...

awww anyways poor guy , let him down easy ... whats sucks is that the friendship is prob gonna get fucked up ... sorry , hope i'm not making u feel worse ././..

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